mikeca

shes feeling alot of pressure from you and her friends, I mean how would it sound to you if everyone kept bringing it up over and over not to mention saying your making a mistake. I would give her some time alone to think then maybe contact her down the road and see what has developed.

nice job, I believe there was alot of improvement on both sides during your time apart.

man, this is the first time in like 5 years I'm not in Calgary for the summer, bought my car out there last year, its a 2nd home.

dont respond.she de-friends you, maybe you shouldnt've done anything on your own. shes fishing for responses to her actions, shes trying to make you call, but your mike, your stronger than that

I think your on the right path, you can only take it slow, and judge her responses. Think of it as a new relationship or new beginning, you'd start hanging out, then grew closer..and closer. but for now, think small baby steps.

/me

didnt know what being needy/available weas

didnt work on myself or future

focuses on short term goals involving us

/her

she'd have to tell you, I can only work on myself.

Well I think your own the right path, communication is a very powerful tool, maybe you can find some compromise if you talk to him about what bothers it when you talk to your ex and vice versa.

ironically one of my best friends (her brother) sent me this song, and said it made him feel alittle better each time listneing to it..

Hootie and the Blowfish - Get out of my mind

edit, kept up with the NC...never really found it hard before..

another example of them wanting what they cant have / realizing their mistake after its too late :S

it would seem shes back on my brain after 3 solid months of NC its not a pain like it was initially. Its a weird feeling, she flows through my memories and as I think about it, i feel the feelings I had during that time Nervous,

anxiety, ...love. I smile and laff now rather than getting sad and depressed. It also effects me doing NC, lately because of these thoughts I feel I should give her a call or goto coffee or something she was at my workplace yesterday and I almost went to talk to her but stayed strong. Then today I see her name on a letter from her job addressed to the bank..ugh..I know I should keep NC. But part of me thinks like some people have had success getting back even if they initate original contact. I've been debating that forawhile too, I've been trying to figure out if its my head telling me this or my heart. As soon as I can answer that I can make a choice..

haha I too feel such a different person then I was before, I would also like to hear some thoughts. Alot lately I've been thinking of initiating contact even though I know I should wait..

jesus I've already changed so much from 19-21..

I would recommend reading superdave's story, it is strangely similar. On top of that I would allow her to recover from this breakup first before you would do anything. In the mean time allow her to get everything off her chest, I believe once she does this whether she actually means most of it will allow you to better judge how she feels and in turn how to respond.

that kinda sucks, the one good nice guy doesnt get any respect but the one who betrayed you gets the option of being friendly.

Well from my prospective, 'D' is keeping ties to the relationship, I mean if he would want nothing to do with you why would he contact your father? Hes also very confused and maybe see's your dad as someone who has been through alot and has become wise over his years. (is his father alive?) I had a good relationship with my ex's family bf's with her brother before we dated, and I'm joining the RCMP just like her father, at first I felt maybe I'd stay in contact with the father as he was helping me out with the application but I did not think it was right, I may call him down the road and ask for a reference but thats about it. I cant think of any reason else why "D" would talk to your father...its very unsual..

keep it up, also i find working out puts me in a great mood after, add that on to keep busy

I saw this and could only think...one person posts in here all sad about breaking up...meanwhile someone is posting in the getting back together forum all excited again heh

why would you want to be friends for someone who left you for someone else? Stay away with NC then you can re-examine your priorities then.

well this isnt a personal tale, but since it seems your trolling for a happy ending...this couple I know dated throughout high school...ended it for a year...then this year started dating again, and within 6 months theyre closer than ever, and in fact own a restaurant together

its so annoying, I feel its a bit of a setback yet I've done nothing to contact her, and I wont. ahh..what a day

maybe you should work on your anger there friscodj all this " * * *" kicking" and what not

Great post, I lost myself and my happiness in the relationship and after NC have started to find me again and people have noticed

I'd like to say its gonna get better quick, but it doesnt. weeks after the breakup I'd be at work or home and just randomly feel like crying and just being sad. But it does get better, it takes some time. What I found to help me was to keep busy, reading, joining a league, playing video games all kept my mind off her and eventually it became easier. If you want a book about relationships I just read : " the five love languages " by Gary Chapman, supedave71 suggested it in a post and I've enjoyed learning and bettering myself after reading it. I hope you can find some positives right now, just remember theres light at the end of the tunnel.

also I found listening to Cake - I will Survive / Russell Watson - Faith of the Heart really turned around my moods

All I can say is make sure you've exercised the demons of the old relationship... think of it as a new one, maybe read some relationship books.. theres a few superdave has suggested

Well today was a bit of a tough one, long work day + something unexpected popped up. So I rush from job to job, and as Im starting my 2nd job a co-workers comes up and says, so "Guy" is banging your ex now eh? I was like what? yeah right..hah and then hes like oh you didnt know? etc...then another person tells me some more info. I was just like wow...this "guy" is basically my protege at this job. I've trained with him since day 1. People, myself even considered him to be a 'younger me'. I thought of him kinda as friend, I couldnt believe this, then another co-workers said that she hasnt slept with him because hes a virgin, so now im like WHAT THE HELL how come so many people know so much and want to dump it on me! Ive been doing NC for 3 months so I was alittle distraught at first, but then I thought of you guys on here and all the positive reinforcement ive received...and got back to myself within the hour. I just couldnt believe this today, I put on a face, like oh well its her life she can sleep with who she wants, but on the inside it was brutal..just needed to write it off, doesnt hurt so much so I gotta thank the NC for that, but just how it went down kinda angered me.

I kinda see it as a rebound since this is basically a younger me, im 21, hes 19 she's 23. So I doubt it'll be anything serious but who knows, and I guess who cares..

make sure you get out and find some activities to fill the void as well, that way if you talk again you'll have something to talk about

or pick up a book and start reading