imnotokay27

Mel Gibson all the way!

My heart hurts... blah, I'm still dealing with rejection. He was one of my best friends, I told him I liked him, and he didn't feel the same. I can't get over it. Everything in my life is suffering because of it, and I can't think of anything else. I see him all throughout the day, so I'm constantly reminded of this. Our relationship hasn't changed, we still act the same around each other and flirt and there's zero awkwardness. I know I have to just get over it... but I still want him so bad! The thing is, I know I could never be with someone that didn't like me immediately... so even if his feelings change, which they won't, I'll always have it in my head he wasn't crazy about me from the beginning. I wasn't his first choice. I wasn't good enough. I'm just really down on myself, not making much sense, and I need advice on how to forget about this guy romantically.

This is somewhat of an emergency. I feel like total crap. I told the guy I'm interested in I like him. He didn't feel the same. The worst part: I see him three of four periods and lunch. Each period is seventy-five minutes long, and he sits beside me in two of them to make matters worse. And yet, none of this occurred to me as I expressed my undying love (in a less pathetic way). The awkwardness I've instilled is never-ending. I'm SUCH an idiot. What do I do to make it less weird?!

This is one of my most powerful lessons. This is something that has changed the way I perceive the opposite sex. I had a fling with this guy that lasted a couple of months. I'm in my last year of highschool and I'm not really "experienced" when it comes to relationships and getting physical. I haven't done too much, just because that's not what I'm comfortable with and that's not what I want right now. Anyway, I was smitten. He is older... two years older, and I guess that had a lot to do with it. I thought he was mature and I liked being able to talk about things other than video games. Plus, he is an amazing actor and writer. An intellect, sensitive, eccentric and... severely depressed. I don't know what it is, but it's like, I'm drawn to troubled guys. Something I'm slowly learning to avoid... I felt really depressed when I was with him, but he was so creative and interesting. He pressured me into doing things I didn't want to, physically, and made me feel bad when I didn't. I hated myself after it. I felt really dirty, and sick that I couldn't do anything to stop it even though as it was happening, I knew it was wrong. As I was sort of seeing him, and I was aware of it at the time, four other girls, his age, were showing interest in him. Two of them I had befriended, but I suspect they only pretended to like me as a way to get closer with him. One showed more interest than the others. Though he never showed any interest in her and insisted he didn't... she was glued to him everytime I'd see him pass by. When she wasn't glued to him, it was one of the other three girls. What threw me off was, he would complain about feeling insecure when he saw me with guys. I admit, I hang out with a small group, mostly consisting of males. But when I saw him... he was alone with these girls. When I was with him, he would tell me he had low self-esteem and that he hated himself. He was on anti-depressants. No one had or has ever spoken to me the way he did. He made me feel beautiful. He has a way with words. It was disgusting... he would just go on and on about how he felt about me...or us. He talked about us in the long-run. He even told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. It's really sad now that I think about it, but at the time...as a teenage girl...I thought and hoped he meant it. He said he meant it. I didn't think anyone was capable of this big a lie. He ended up telling me one of the four, the one I was least suspicious of, had tried kissing him. He said he didn't pull away. You know that feeling you get, like someone has taken a knife, dragged it down your chest, opened the flap and ripped out your throbbing heart. Yeah, that was sort of the feeling. He told me everything he ever said... and he said a lot... was a lie. And that he "just wanted to get into my pants". Ch'yeah. I ignored all of the signs. Before this, I told all of my friends interested in older guys to just forget it, because they expected younger girls to put out. Way to follow my own advice. I'm not saying this is always true, because it's not. It is different in highschool though. A two year age gap can matter when you're a teen. From my experience, there is no such thing as love at this point in my life. Just...hormones. Follow your head, and not your heart. Your dignity isn't worth any guy. Don't lose your innocence, but be smart. I'll say one thing though...and this isn't just because I'm bitter. He may have been really romantic and smart and different, whether or not it was all an act...but there are more important things, like, uh, honesty for one. Know what you want before you start dating. Look for signs that something might not be right, and when you find them, don't look past them because you think you're in love.

Yeah. I have no patience, and that's a problem. I just sort of expected movie-romance. I know this isn't realistic, but I want to be swept off my feet. I don't want to have to wait for the guy I love to break up with his girlfriend... it shouldn't be that hard or awkward. Thanks a lot for your advice by the way, I'm really taking it to heart.

I've known of him all through highschool. In the last year I've gotten to know him. I'm graduating at the end of the year, and I see him everyday. It's just our connection. I can't relate to anyone on the same level. I don't think I've ever been in love before this, so I can't compare what I feel to past relationships, but I know this is different. I feel like I could be with him forever and as long as I know him I know I'll never get over him. Bottom line: I'm an idiot for continuing with the thought of us being together... he has a girlfriend and I'm slowly driving myself insane.

Thanks. But at this point... I am beyond frustrated. Maybe I could kidnap her, put her in a box and ship her to some foreign country...

I've fallen in love with someone already involved. I feel so strongly for him, and I feel I can't wait any longer without exploding. I have zero patience. I want to tell him, but I obviously can't. I want to tell someone, but I can't risk him finding out. We're good friends, and there's a chance it'll ruin the friendship, which is also a concern of mine. Maybe it's just not meant to be. His current relationship isn't very serious... which I guess is why I keep holding on...but I'm so in love with him. I'm not the type of person to dwell, but he's a find... a really good person. Should I stick it out and wait? Or should I just forget him? Is there too much to lose? I hate sounding overdramatic, desperate and pathetic, but I'm head-over-heels. But I think at this point I am all of the traits I listed, and I need to act on something before this gets worse. Stupid guys.