theoneandonly0708

Well, I'm sure a couple of you read my previous posts regarding a good friend of mine and my confusion with him and his sexuality... I've given up at this point seeing as he seems to never want to hang out anymore and doesn't seemed "obsessed" with my like he used to be or isn't as interested as I see it... Though, I think he's in such denial of his sexuality that he'd rather avoid any situation at all costs... Even my family thinks he's gay. Anytime I bring up his name or talk about him, my dad would be like he's definitely gay, he's a fag, and stuff like that due to a time when he said "I Love You" right in front of my dad and my dad was like * * *, I didn't say anything back, I just said like Bye... My sister says her "Gaydar" works and she knows for a fact he could be gay... Anyways... the point of this post wasn't about him... It's about another friend I know who, I'm not "as" close to but used to be, we aren't in the same grade. A year apart. He's VERY touchy-feely when he sees me he touches my shoulder or arm or something... I think he's in denial but not as bad as the other guy... Interesting he seems open about talking about being gay when we talk to each other... For example tonight... Excerpt IM Convo: ME: oh so thats cool aim decides it wants to completely close out HIM: haha HIM: but n e ways... HIM: women, there just a major pain in the * * * ME: yeah so... ME: yes HIM: there enough 2 turn a guy gay HIM: maybe HIM: sometimes ME: probably haha ME: i could understand that bc they bring so much drama into everything HIM: seriously HIM: i grew up with 2 older ones ME: yeah ME: as of right now i pretty much avoid them b/c at this age their whole lives are about drama haha HIM: yeah HIM: thats y i try and hook up with older chiks ME: exactly HIM: and even their all about drama sumtimes HIM: women straight piss me off ME: i agree HIM: well, im gunna go get some food, then go 2 bed HIM: so ill ttyl He HAS talked about being "turned" gay... In person multiple times if I recall correctly... Now according to my family, they think he has "tendencies" and could be Bisexual or Gay... More Bisexual I think... Though he has only had like a couple girlfriends in his life that didn't last, including my sister and another girl whom he showed NO AFFECTION to, not even holding hands maybe a hug! So, I don't know... Any ideas?

It's very strange, sometimes I think he is beginning to avoid me other times he seems enjoying having me around. Now, I'm of course not going to name names here but about two years ago when I had just first met him, he dated my sister who is slightly younger than me. He was obsessed with her, telling her he would pray for them to get married someday. My sister of course got freaked out and got rid of him when he asked if he could, *Do Something Sexual*, to her. She got rid of him. At that point, I wasn't AS close to him as I am now, but I was pissed at him and we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the year. Last year we hung out a couple times before winter sports started, then I was so involved in that, we ended up not really talking AGAIN. This year however was a different story we were able to hang out all year long and see each other just about everyday in school... But, his personality can be so strange sometimes. One minute he seems into me the next he doesn't even look in my direction. I don't know. I wish that if I had a chance I would just come out to him and get it overwith but I'm not sure if I'd like the outcome. I'm just so confused to a point where I think I should just get rid of him, as it's just a waste of time at this point.

Okay, it's so hard to put this whole confusion I am having with him... If he is in serious denial right now, I guess that would explain why once in a while he will say something like "Seen any hot girls?", or something along those lines... But, really theres just something about him that's different and stands out that would make you think he is easily covering his own confusion with his sexuality. Due to him being religious and all, I'm really good friends with his family but I don't know. It's hard to picture us ever having a "future" at this point due to his family, religion and all... Maybe I'm losing my mind and that he's completely straight... I sure hope not...

Thanks for the replies, I appreciate it... I really do have a gut feeling he is possibly unsure of his sexuality, but based on previous conversations which involved at least a reference to homosexuality, he suddenly changes the subject. For example, yesterday we were talking online. I told him about this past weekend when my family and I went out of town. There was an incident when we went out to eat and there were a couple gay waiters that thought my dad was hot and that I was cute. Of course, my dad was flipping out, I also put the impression up that it was gross as well. Our waitress had told us that before we left. Also she said they took pictures of us on their camera phones. LOL. Anyways, I told him the whole thing and he laughed and he said like "So, when are you getting a girlfriend?" or "Anyone I like right now?". Now mind you, I was telling the story in pieces and after each piece I sent he would do a simple "Hahaha..." and then ask a question again regarding on a girlfriend or a girl I like or something... This may be just me, but he seems to always avoid situations like this. It's happened in the past where in person he knew he couldn't escape it and would ask "Why are we talking about this?"... He seems so sheltered where he's so afraid to confront a situation like that, yet sometimes he will joke around like saying I was his girlfriend to his friends or something of that matter... I really wish I knew how to approach a simple conversation about homosexuality, even a reference to it, without him "freaking out" or more or less avoiding the conversation...

Why must sexual orientation be such a major thing in society today? Why can't people just accept you for who you are, there are so many Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual's in society today. So what's the big deal? I'm still confused on my sexuality. Although, I wish I could just get it off of my chest, my family is so against that and so religious I am too afraid of the consequences. As of right now, I will remain "in the closet" so to speak. But, beside that point... Are there any Gay/Bi/Not Sure guys in high school that are hard to notice... I mean I do know a few who are open and have the obvious signs, the lisps, the women-like actions, tight clothes, strange stride, etc. But, sometimes I get the feeling that their are many more than meets the eye. I myself don't consider myself revealing those signs. I have a very close guy friend who I am so under the impression that he may be Gay/Bi/Not Sure of his sexual orientation. I have talked about him in the past on these forums, but I really have the feeling he could be. Although, he has a girlfriend in a completely different state who he hasn't seen since the night they met back in December. Also, they met at a wedding where they danced for about three hours and never saw each other again, they remain in contact via telephone and IM. Anyways, he doesn't exactly show the signs however. He is definitely a jock, however until recently he has been so obsessed with golf, it's all he wants to do. He is also very, very religious so that also sets me aside from believing that he maybe. Depending on the situation, if something even referencing to homosexuality is brought up, he seems to never want to talk about it, asking me "Why are we talking about this?". Although, one time we were talking about a Gay guy in our school and at the time I asked "Isn't he Gay?" and he replied "So what?"... I don't know, it seems like it depends on the situation. He is always, always in eye contact with me. Sometimes, it's so prolonged, you would believe he would be gay. I mean just a couple weeks ago, he just sat and stared at me in my bedroom for literally a minute with no conversation. Even after a saying something he always just does this prolonged looking into my eyes thing, I tried looking for pupil dialation but it's so hard to tell. He also always tells me he loves me in one form or another. Whether it's a straight "I love you..." or something like "I heart you..." he always manages to say that at some point when we are together. It's also very hard to understand why he can sometimes be so defensive when it comes to touchy-feely situations. For example, a couple weeks ago he was over, he took a pillow off the couch that I had so I grabbed him by the wrist and arm and pulled him to get him off of it, out of no "sexual" intention I was having, he asks "Why are you touching me?"... Later that day however I was sitting in the computer chair and he was leaning over me with his knee on the chair typing on IM, and his face was so close to mine and he had no problem we were literally touching... Sometimes I wish I could just attempt to kiss him and see what happens, but I'm worried of what could happen, and what would happen from there. There are so many more things I could tell you, but I think I pretty much have written enough for this post anyways...

Based what I've been telling everybody, does anybody think he may be bisexual or gay? Why sometimes he has no problem when we are touching each other and other times he questions me about it is beyond me... Maybe it's his "homophobia" stage, or at least I hope. But, seriously, I have never had this feeling or connection with any other guy I know, no straight guy would stare in my eyes just for the heck of it and for the longest duration. I don't know, I'm dieing to just do something but I'm so afraid of what the outcome could be... What was also interesting is that when we went to go play PS2, which is at the foot of my bed with the TV (I have a bunkbed)... We were undecided what to play and everything was off and we were just kinda laying there. Suddenly he says "Okay, well let's play something otherwise your mom may come in here and think this is strange..." I can't remember what exact words were used, but it was very close to that... Please help...

I hope this information helps, how should I approach it, without something bad happening? He seems to be more comfortable with me in private...

Thanks For Following Up Guys... UPDATE -- He came over today after school, he pretty much wanted to come over, I of course had no problem with that. He always asks if we will be home alone at all. Well anyways, sorry if I'm skipping around here for what happened today, but there's just so much. Say, your sitting at a desk in a chair and he has no chair and he leans in to type, well let me tell you how close our faces were to each other, I mean literally touching, and he didn't really care, which surprised me. Usually he doesn't seem like that touchy-feely kinda guy. Yet, when we walk in the hall his right arm is always touching my left arm when we walk together. Almost as if we were going to hold hands. Also, my hand was so close to his pants pretty much touching that area (not intentionally, although I was shocked he didn't care) and I was surprised. We must have stared at each other for the most LONGEST durations ever, like thats all, there was like no conversation we just stared. But, I'm so afraid to approach bringing up a topic like relating to us. When our faces were pretty much in "kissing" distance, I know for a fact no straight guy would ever get that close not caring. But, he still has a girlfriend in a different state who he hasn't seen for five months or so now, I don't know. I was dieing to just go in for a kiss, but then your mind starts to think of the consequences. "Will he back away and be like * * *?" "Will he kiss back?" "How awkward will our friendship be after that?" "Will he tell anyone?"... He's also very religious and I am as well, but I don't know. There are just soooo many signs, I want to find out soooo bad, but I'm afraid of what might happen. But, if he was getting THAT close to me today, not caring and staring at me way longer without ANY conversation, I don't know. He seemed to open up a little more after we arrived at my house. At first I grabbed his arm when I was trying to get a pillow and stuff (attempting to get into situations on how he would react to touching, although it wasn't like softy touching, I was grabbing his arm to get the pillow kinda thing) and he asked "Why are you touching me?"... Also, he IMd his GF on my screen name to find out stuff, and he had typed this thing (which he didn't send) like "Yeah, he's pretty hot..." (me being his friend saying that about him to his girlfriend) and he was laughed and then said "Moving On..." I have that feeling when we both look each other in the eyes that we both know it, but are afraid, I don't know... Hopefully these latest details help give some clues... Please help...

It's been a while since I updated this whole ordeal... Well, "almost" every weekend we hang out either he sleeps over here or I sleep at his house... Not to draw off on a tangent, but today he told me "online" of course he wanted to have my children, he always starts a conversation by IMing me with the word "love" or "I LOVE YOU" in capital letters. When he walks with me in the hall he almost always is arm to arm with me. I wish I had the guts to ask him if he was himself, but he's so conservative and brought up so religious that I have the feeling he would just be offended or something. My crush on him has really grown for him, but I don't want to keep my hopes up for nothing, even though so many signs are there. He still has a GF, in a different state mind you, he may come over again this weekend, and I'm just so attracted to him right now, but I control it of course. And he does still look me right in the eyes once in a while, at least when me and him are alone, in the school - he still does but not as often as if it were just me and him. I'm so confused right now...

And ideas? Any and all tips are greatly appreciated. But I really want to know how I should approach it.

Well, it was an online conversation, so as unfortunate as it sounds, I wasn't able to see his reaction in person. I'm not sure what we were talking about before, but randomly online he may say "I Love You" or "I Heart You" or something along those lines. I usually say the same in the return. And then he brought up the kid who was gay in our school and he was just saying he is so gross. Then I agreed saying other things, then I brought up another kid, and he said nasty or something and then told me to stop and why we were talking about this. Another Thing: I know plenty of straight guys who would just, out of the blue, say something sexually-related in a humorous way. For example, "I have a massive erection..." of course they laugh and it's a joking situation. So, I attempted to joke around, just to see how he would react (yet it was an online conversation again). I told him that I had a boner (which I didn't) and he said that was gross. And I told him I was kidding and he still said that was like gross. Then I went a little further saying, like, don't you hate it when you get it during school. And then he was like "Why are we talking about this?!". So, I told him again, I was joking around. I mean I joke around like that all the time, and even my lunch table with like all straight guys, we would be open and talk serious about it sometimes. Mostly in a laughing manner, but yet we were still making a point. Anyways, I am still confused, and if he seems this "defensive" if you will on simple topics that most people don't really care about, then I'm not sure how to approach him. I'm like afraid to approach him in coversation like that if he's that way about topics like that, yet I haven't seen his reaction in person still... More tips would really be appreciated, thanks...

I was talking to him the other day and somehow he brought up the topic of how gross a gay kid is in our school. So, I of course agreed in a straight manner. Then I brought up another kid who was and he told me to stop and asked why we were talking about this. I am beginning to have some doubts. Yet, when we walk in the hall afterschool leaving, he is usually like very close to me like side by side. I need help... During the conversation, should I have said something like "Well, sometimes you just have to accept the fact that people are gay." Or would that be pushing it?

There was also a time when we were talking with a bunch of people and someone brought up this kid in our school that was gay, and then I heard (the one I like) say "So what?". Every so often I see him with this one kid who is bisexual or gay in our school who currently has a boyfriend himself. Now of course he may just not have a problem with people being gay but I'm not sure. He even made me a valentine card he made in one of his classes, he said he didn't make it just for me. He just gave it to me and said take it. So, I did. It was a project they had to do in their foreign language class. Sometimes when he's over my house he'll just stare at me every once in a while, right in the eyes and mouth like I said before. Now a good amount people I know are very open and don't have any problem talking about anything sexual. And we are either serious or joking around. So, I had thought to joke around with him saying something stupid like "I have a boner" or something like that and he would be like "that's gross". Where as other people I know would either laugh and say something sarcastically back, that may just be personality-wise however, I'm still not sure. Yet, at the same time I am trying my best to look for signs that could be giveaways. I heard that people's eyes dilate when they like someone, but his eyes are dark and were never usually in like a bright area, ususally normal lighting but I still can't tell.

I met this guy who currently is now one of my closest friends who just makes me always think he may be gay. He has a girlfriend, but she lives out of state, and other than that he has had few girlfriends. Hence, he is a nice-looking guy. It seems like everytime I talk to him or hang out with him, I get this feeling that when we look into each others eyes we were "meant for each other". Now, I know that's a little to emotional but when were talking or he's talking to me, he always looks at me straight in the eyes and I can see his eyes look down to my mouth every so often. After he says something, for example a joke, he'll laugh and then still stare me in the eyes and theres this awkward silence as we look at each other, eventually one of us breaks it by him then suddenly looking at the television or talk about something else. Just when he looks at me it's almost like that "make-out" feeling. But, I don't wanna risk anything if it turns out he's straight. We see each other every day, he has made a nickname for me, is always telling me he loves me, which I assume in the friendly way. He has grabbed my cheeks before and told me he loves me. I'm dieing to know if he's at least bi-sexual, but I'm still not sure, and don't want to like go in for a kiss when it turns out he freaks out and everybody knows. Any ideas?

I met this guy who currently is now one of my closest friends who just makes me always think he may be gay. He has a girlfriend, but she lives out of state, and other than that he has had few girlfriends. Hence, he is a nice-looking guy. It seems like everytime I talk to him or hang out with him, I get this feeling that when we look into each others eyes we were "meant for each other". Now, I know that's a little to emotional but when were talking or he's talking to me, he always looks at me straight in the eyes and I can see his eyes look down to my mouth every so often. After he says something, for example a joke, he'll laugh and then still stare me in the eyes and theres this awkward silence as we look at each other, eventually one of us breaks it by him then suddenly looking at the television or talk about something else. Just when he looks at me it's almost like that "make-out" feeling. But, I don't wanna risk anything if it turns out he's straight. We see each other every day, he has made a nickname for me, is always telling me he loves me, which I assume in the friendly way. He has grabbed my cheeks before and told me he loves me. I'm dieing to know if he's at least bi-sexual, but I'm still not sure, and don't want to like go in for a kiss when it turns out he freaks out and everybody knows. Any ideas?