andsoitis

I have had a similar experience. I like you, am a college student who had always considered myself straight. But last year, I began having romantic feelings for my best friend who happened to be a girl. I too go to a college that is considered Christian, and I play sports and am a rather social person who had a lot to lose, especially with my family and friends. I ended up not denying my feelings and following what felt right, and entered a great dating relationship with this girl. Unfortunately, things didn't end up so well for various reasons, but I can give you some insight into how my life changed because of it. In my experience, my friends were very receptive and supportive of me. They respected my decision, and even encouraged our relationship because they saw how happy she made me. We did decide to keep the relationship a secret, because we would have been kicked out of school if the administration found out. Anywho, my friends, whom we told, were amazingly supportive. My family was a different story. My mother and father both found out (by searching through my things during a short stay at their house), and they didn't take it too well. They suggested counciling and therapy to get me past my homosexual tendencies (which I said hell no to). Life with them was a * * * * * for a while. But now, they seem to have accepted the fact that I dated a girl. They don't talk about it, except for the occasional comment. But I still know they dissapprove. So basically, its totally your decision. I wouldn't suggest fighting your feelings because if you feel strongly connected with her, you could end up in a great relationship. On the other hand, be prepared to encounter at least a few people who will disapprove. If there's any other way I can help, let me know. And good luck!

So, I'll take a quick 2 seconds to explain my situation, and any advice/comments you can give would be awesome. I was dating a girl for 5 months, and we were very close. We were friends before, and we progressed to more, and the relationship we had was amazing. I felt like I could spend the rest of my life with her. She had past emotional problems due to childhood issues (which will play into the story more later), but never showed any signs while we were together. One day, totally out of the blue, she broke up with me and never really gave me a solid reason why. Then, she called back a day later sobbing and stating that she couldn't live without me. So we got back together. Almost a month later, she did it again, and broke up with me stating she didn't love me anymore. So I moved on. As painful as it was (and it was awful), I didn't contact her for almost 2 months. Finally, I called her to help her out with some legal issues she was having. I was on my way to completely healing, and talking to her wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. I just wanted to remain friends as much as possible. Because of school, I didn't see her until late last year (5 months after the break up). She confessed that she was still in love with me, but she was also dating some other new guy. Here's where the emotionally unstable thing kicks in. Their relationship is very possesive and border-line verbally abusive. After this confession, I asked her to make a choice between a life with me and a life with this other guy. She picked the other guy, and I told her not to contact me until she straightened her life out. Here's the problem. Since then, I haven't been able to get this situation out of my head. It's completely inhibited my healing process from the initial break-up. I can't help but feeling cheated and hurt because I know she still loves me, and I still love her, but I don't know what the deal is. Is this normal? Any comments or suggestions are more than welcome. Thanks!