swampy

Thanks for commenting Shadows Light.. I really appreciate it. No, have been in school for a little over month now, having problems with 2 out of four classes. This might sound trivial to alot of other people, but i have alot riding on this. I have failed at so many other things and at this age, I just DON'T get anything. My past dictates all of this: I tried it as musician -on the road for quite sometime, went to technical for Graphic Design, only to realize , i cannot make a good future in this 6 years later, and now this. I sound so pathetic , i know. I realize life is truly not over, just when will something come to fruition?? Seeems as though lot's of others get it!!!!!!!!!!

Hello all, I am a 37 year old just starting school for computer programming and am finding out that I might not have what it takes to understand what I am being taught. Well, this all really sucks because I was counting on this to be my "life change" to financial and emotional piece of mind, so to speak. I am a father(daughterlives with her mom) , was a Graphic Designer, Musician... and now i don't feel like anything but a failure!!!! I am moving into a new house, however, i received some financial assistance and still even guilty about that.To top things off, i have not even had a decent relationship in about a year. I'm even told I am good looking, so what's up with that? I just feel like a real loser and sometimes think the grass may be greener on the other side(suicide) unfortunately, I could not do that to my kid and my family. Call me "always Tormented" never an end to any of this!!!!! any feedback.. please???

thanks for responding Aueft and Benelovent, anyone else have any feedback or advice?

hello, first time posting here. my dilemma is it seems as though i'll never find the right woman for me, hell, i can't even really get a date right now. I am divorced with a 5 year old Daughter,(she lives with her mom) the divorce was painful, my ex-wife is a b....!!!! we got married because she was pregnant. It just seems as though I never have a connection with woman i find attractive, nothing.. nada . zip. All the women i would be attracted to are usually taken or already married, or just never there, wherever i am, that is!!! It just seems like it's never going to happen to me. I know i should not dwell on this, but it just has me wondering quite abit. what the hell is wrong with me, sometimes it's like women don't even notice me. I am told i'm attractive and have alot going for me. alot , actually, that's even more frustrating in itself!!! To top things off, i'm 37 not getting any younger. I am musician that does not play in a band at the moment.. maybe that will help some, when i do start again. i feel cursed sometimes, in the "finding someone department" I will have a new home soon and i am going back to school to become a programmer, it's not like i don't have anything going for me.. it so frustrating. I've never experienced the true love thing, i have no idea what's it's like? all of my other past relationships were just not real and never lasted,it's like they were always looking for someone else, i was not good enough... yet people that are asses, insensitve, disqusting, and just plain rude have women all over them. I'll stop the pity party now.. I just don't get it.. Swampy