Well, here's my story....
It's kind of long, but I really need to get it off my chest, so here goes.
I came from a family where my parents didn't believe in helping with college, and also didn't allow us kids to work while we were in school, so when I graduated from High School, there was no $$, and all I wanted to do was get out of my parents house.
At 22 years old I moved from Montana to Seattle to start a new life on my own. I spent my 20's pretty much working 2-3 jobs at a time to be able to support myself. I was angry at not having been able to go to college. I even tried to go to Cosmetology school but after I already went through half of it I could not afford to finish, and was working 2 jobs just to pay the rent. I had to choose between rent and tuition, so I left school.
I worked various jobs and quite a lot of it was as temp in offices, where I built up my skills in office work. I also held part time jobs, staying with the same job for years at a time. Never had trouble keeping a job. I was finally hired permanently at a large bank in their corporate offices and worked very hard for two years, and was finally -for the first time in my life- making good money. I was also very good at what I did there & got excellent reviews & raises. Things were finally stabilizing up for me. I started college at age 33 and was very proud of that- paying for it myself. But soon there were management changes and the new bosses completely ignored all of the accomplishments that we had before they arrived, and after a year we were all laid off in my department. It really stung, and I was angry that the new management had not even given us a chance.
I was SO depressed. I did not work for 5 months, and was having a really hard time due to frustration and boredom. I could not find a job AT ALL! I used my savings to continue in college, because all the jobs I saw wanted people with degrees. Plus, the job market was really poor and there was a lot of competition out there from layoffs. I was also on some medication which I needed, and had to quit taking it, to the detriment of my health, except for one, which I can barely afford. But if I go off it I will be so sick I could not work. No health insurance due to no job = more depression, etc.
At present, I am taking temp jobs here and there, but nothing stable- and the temp jobs are ending earlier than I had been told. I will get hired for 6 months and after 2 I am told I am no longer needed. This has happened 2 out of 3 times! So I have been taking it very personally that they did not want to keep me on for the full length of my assignment. I am told that my job performance is good, but there is not enough work to justify keeping me- yet I tend to beat myself up and think I was not good enough to keep the job and they're lying to "be nice" about letting me go. I took a part time minumum wage job last summer, just to help pay the rent, and was fired after 3 months- and they would not give me a reason, so I have NO IDEA what I did. I felt SOOOOO terrible and worthless about that. I used to be a professional making over $40k year, and now I cannot even keep a minimum wage job!!!!
I am single and have pets to take care of. I am so embarrassed by my situation. I have isolated myself. My friends could not help as many of them have their own problems to deal with.
So now I am hanging on by a thread, trying to keep a roof over my head. I used all my savings, 401k, pension and credit cards just to pay rent and live the past year! I am more depressed now and I have gained weight which makes it all worse.
I know the depression does not help the job hunt, but it's just a vicious circle. I try for scholarships, as my grades are excellent but I never get one. I don't want to have to quit school AGAIN, but if I can't find a job soon, I am not going to have many options left.
I am frustrated, confused and feel worthless and unlikeable.
Any words of advice out there?