A little background - this is my second marriage, my first of 10 years ended in divorce after I caught my alcoholic husband cheating (for the second time). He had major issues, although we now have a friendly relationship because we have two boys together, 10 and 12. I married for the second time in 2000 - he has one son, 16, who lives with us and 1 daughter, who lives with her mom. He is funny, sensitive, a great cook...however, he also is an alcoholic. Didn't know the degree until after we were married and it's progressively gotten worse. He drinks every night after work - he is very dependable at work, doesn't miss time, has been there 10+ years, but I can't handle the 3+ beers he has at night. He has at least 3 before he comes home, then drinks one at home. After dinner he pretty much crashes into bed. Sex is a rarity. He does not fully "participate" as a father figure to our children - I do all the finances, clean, laundry, mow the yard, take kids to appointments, haircuts, etc. He cooks dinner - that's it. I have brought this issue up to him in the past about his drinking and stating it's a problem...he'll stop for awhile and then it starts up again. Last Thursday morning I noticed for the first time that his hands shake in the morning. I told him that it's no fun for me to have a conversation with him in the evening because he's drunk. On Sunday he was outside bbqing and I saw there was a grocery bag with beer in it - kind of like he was hiding it. Let me tell you, there's no hiding this from someone who has lived 10 years with an alcoholic! Anyway, I'm simply tired - I too work full-time at a great job, no problem supporting myself, and I just want to say "enough already and go away". I know this may sound selfish but at this point I don't care - I don't even have those emotions that I'll be sad or anything - it will just be a relief to have the house back to myself and my children, although I love my stepson.
At what point do you know divorce is your only solution? I gave, and gave, and gave so much in my first marriage that the thought of doing this again with an alcoholic personality is just not appealing!!!