SeaBisquit

i feel bad for your friend. because i think i would feel the same way. it sounds like he isn't ready to cut off all ties with his ex. his main concern should be with his daughter and that should be the only discussion that he is still having with her. your friend may be feeling like she is second choice and that if he could make things work out with his ex he would.

i need to end this relationship that i'm in. but i just keep being obsessive over this guy. there are so many things wrong that i feel in my gut but for some damn reason i keep crawling back to this guy and now he makes me feel like garbage. what"s wrong with me? i don't know how to move on and forget him. like i said i know he is all wrong , i know i could find better but for damn reason i seem to be liking the treatment even when i feel it might be dangerous. i don't know if i feel scared controlled or what.

i don't know exactly what to think at the moment. i haven't seen this kind of stuff on his computer before. this is the first time. that's what makes me wonder. he knew that i would see it becuase i was staying at his place. i guess i don't trust him much and yeah this is hard to discuss. i don't exactly know the right words to use when i ask him about this stuff and how can i be sure if he is telling me the truth. i just think it's strange he didn't clear it from the history. he knew i would see it.

it kinda sounds like neither one of you are really ready for mariage. you are having doubts about his behavior and both of you may be rushing into something you are not ready for. it sounds to me like you have many things to resolve before considering marriage if you want it to be a happy one.

hi hope,

no, i don't think i can talk to him about this. the girls on the computer were a little older than my daughter, but it does care me.

we have been toghether for almost two years and the funny thing is in my gut i alway felt like something was wrong. i always felt like i wasn't pleasing him sexually.

hello day_walker

it was pornography of young girls. i have a young daughter so of course i'm mortified.

thanks hope,

i already know in my gut that it wasn't normal, i"m just kinda in denial i guess. i kinda wish i didn't see it.

hi Hope,

i would rather not say just something that isn't acceptable to me.

please help me understand, yesterday i went over to my bf place and i found some really sick stuff on his computer. it doesn't bother me too much if he looks at porn but this stuff was way to sick and perverted to me. now i can't look at him the same and i feel that he is addicted. i don't know if this is a normal guy thing or if i should be worried, i just didn't like what i saw.

thanks DG for the link it did help me out. just reading this post and the replies has also made me realize how stupid i can be. the thing is i also have a hard time expressing my feelings so i'll keep it all bottled up inside, then when i get so upset that i can't keep it inside anymore i end up saying things that i don't mean. i know i have this problem i just haven't been able to resolve it.

the part about drama: that is probably very true, i often don't see things the way they really are

i have also lied and kept things hidden from my S/O to avoid confrontation or to make him feel that our relationship is going well. when really i don't feel it is going well at all.

my biggest problem: I DON"T KNOW HOW TO ASK FOR WHAT I WANT!

DN,

when i said it, it kinda flew out of my mouth out of alot of anger and jealousy. i think at the time i even meant what i said. now reading this post it has made me realize how insecure and childish i have been. the other thing is that he has never raised his voice or even swore at me. i have swore at him several times and he has just quietly walk away, and to be honest i was pissed out that i didn't get the kind of reaction i wanted out of him. i don't understand what makes me feel this way honestly, i know i have some serious issues of insecurity or something else how do i go about resolving this?

thank you for your response drangongirl,

sometimes i say things that i can't take back. in this case i have been acting like a nutcase throughout this entire relationship. i guess i'm lucky that he is so forgiving, but really i need to learn to quit being so insecure and knock it off with the silly remarks but sometimes i can't help being so insecure and mostly jealous.

hi everyone, last night i got in a really bad agrument with my bf and said something really bad to him, at least he's taking it really bad. i have been feeling pretty insecure in our relationship because of the distance that is between us and our recent break up. but anyhow, in the middle of our agrument i shouted out to him that we were just " friends that screw" except i used the f word but i can post that on this site. anyways he was really offended by what i said and i'm just wondering exactly how bad this really is. i said it because alot of times i feel like he doesn't care about me and that he is still in love with his ex.

in the first place i don't get why these guys keep asking me out. they know i have a bf we have been together for 2 years. i have told them repeatedly that i love my boyfriend and i'm not going to date anyone else. anyways these guy are a real pain in the butt, and i have tried to just be there friends with all of them but i don't think they want to just be friends with me.

hi spanisheyes,

i know it is hard for you but remember a ex is a ex for a reason and obviously he has chosen to be with you instead of her. you said that you two are planning on moving in together so he has picked you to spend the future with not her. I seriously doubt that he would be stringing you along if he wasn't serious about you.

girls, how do you go about getting a guy to stop flirting with you when you don't like him? there are a few guys that i know that insist on going out with me. they know i have a boyfriend but because i'm in a long-distance relationship they think they still have a chance. i don't like any of these guys and i have told them over and over that i'm getting back together with my bf, this is so irritating cause i'm trying to politely tell this guys to get lost but there not getting the message.

i'm in a long distance relationship that sometimes really gets me mad. sometimes i feel like he isn't there when i need him to be around. sometimes i feel that his problems are more important then mine. i hate it when he is away, but i love the time that we do have together. sometimes i get so impatient waiting to see him again, alot of times i ask myself if it's all worth it. i wonder what he is doing when i am away. i wonder if i'm nuts to be in love with someone that lives so far away. the waiting to be together again seems like forever. this is so hard, does anybody else feel this way?

thanks captain,

i guess i'm just worried that i'll be a burden to him with everything he has going on in his life right now. sometimes it's hard for me to tell him stuff that is going on with me because i feel he has enough problems of his own.

hello, i don't know what to do because I want to ask my bf if I can move back in with him. we broke up a few months ago and are getting back together. we now live in separate houses about 3 hours from each other. i have only lived in my house a short time but it has been broken into a few times. last week i spent the week with my bf at his place, shortly after he brought my home someone had broken into my house while i was sleeping. now i'm really scared to live in my house by myself and i want to ask him if i can move back in. he is away on a vacation right now in another state visiting his dad, his dad is very ill, so i haven't called him and told him about the breaking into my house. anyhow, i'm kinda worried about telling him because he is already going through enough with his dad and i don't want to burden him. so should i ask him or not?

ok, I have a question for those of you who are doing NC, did you start this soon after your breakup? and truthfully has it really helped? because I would have gone insane not calling or communicating.

hello kskm,

I do however believe in NC if you are trying to get over someone when you know there are no chances of ever getting back together. but, if you are trying to get back together I don't see how NC could possibly work.

I know alot of you are full believers in NC, but I have to disagree. I think communication is important in a breakup even if it's not what you want to hear. To me NC cuts off all chances and hope of ever getting back together. How can you possible work things out without communication?

ok, i hope this isn't getting to off topic but in my case I iniated the breakup because I was insecure and felt like he was going to break up with me, and because of my pride I wanted to be the one to iniate the break up. my break up lasted two months and it ended on good terms. I thought about him constantly, phone him constantly, and kept up as much communication as possible. the results were good because we are now getting back together.

after two months of hell, I just spent a week with my ex bf. It went great, really great. we are getting back together ( WOOHOO) thanks to all of you for your help and support.

I love this guy alot, and I know that he is wrong for me, that his feelings are not the same. He doesn't treat me bad, he just isn't as serious about me as I am about him. I tried to date other guys but I find myself comparing everyone to him. He is the one person that I would like to spend my life with, but I think he just sees us as really good friends. I hope that someday I can get over him because I know it won't work out between us, but for right now it just kinda hard. ya know..