xxSaraxx

I detect that you are looking for far more from her, than you dare confess. Your own common sense must tell you, that anything more with your ex than the odd email/phone call, may lead to something more - but then I honestly think that this is what you are looking for, something more with her. Emails and telephone conversations would be enough for you I feel, if you were not secretly hoping for more. Doubt her current guy would be too happy with an ex of hers pursuing her through emails/calls, less still for dinner dates, etc, etc....... I guess it all depends upon how strong her feelings are for the other guy, as to whether she will take you up on your offers of something more than email/telephone calls. She won't be brainless enough to not know what she's risking, if she embarks upon something more and takes the friendship further than mail, etc. If she doesn't want to risk losing her current man, then you are going to be rejected big time by her once more. And once he gets wind of the fact that she has an ex pursuing her, she will cut off all contact with you period and she won't even send you a goodbye letter, you will be history once more! I don't think you ever recovered from being rejected by her and there lies the root of your problem.

I wouldn't hold your breath that he's gonna call anytime soon. You gave him exactly what he came looking for at that moment in time- the assurances that you are still there for him, should he ever want to slither back/get bored of his new girlfriend. Could have also called because he was looking for someone to massage his ego........if this is the case, his current gf can't be making him feel all that good about himself perhaps. Best thing you could do would be too not accept his calls anymore. Let him think you've moved on, better still make that decision to finally move on and away from him. Believe me it's when we finally move on, that for some strange reason or other, like bad pennies they will show up in our lives again. When we sit pining around for them, they never return. They must have a sixth sense or something

IMO Friendship with an ex is attainable, but only when both parties have long since moved on from the relationship. If one of the parties still has strong feelings for the other, then NO, you can't be friends with an ex after a breakup. There is usually always a motive for one party wanting to remain friends after a breakup and on the 'dumped' parties part, it usually involves wanting to remain friends, in order to try and win the ex back. For the 'dumpee', he/she will often say they'd like to be 'friends', for it makes them feel less guilty and better about ending the relationship. Months/years after a breakup, friendship with an ex is attainable and it's more likely to be a successful friendship between both parties. I'm friends with an ex I last saw 11 years ago and our relationship ended verrrrry badly and bitterly.........so yeah, even when relationships end badly, a friendship can still come out of it, in the long run.

If he'd missed you as badly as he says he does, why did it take you to be the one who made the first move and after all this time? Surely he'd have made some effort to contact you? IMO you wouldn't have been the one to have made the first move, he'd have done it. When a guy still has feelings for a woman, he would move mountains in his quest to win her/woo her back..when a guy has feelings/love for a woman, it is impossible for him to ignore that pull towards her - he wouldn't have kept away for so long. Sounds to me and this may seem a bit harsh, but in your contacting him, he's seen what he views as an opportunity for 'sex with the ex' and so he's giving you the bull * * * * lines that he misses you, still thinks of you, etc. Of course he's gonna say all that, he's trying to sweeten you up - he's after 'sex'. Not saying that he may not still have feelings for you, but the fact that he mentioned 'sex' almost immediatley after your contact, is a huge indicator that this is what and all he has on his mind with you. Now he's ignoring you because he hasn't/isn't getting what he wants from you. He's seen a change in you, you are acting not so 'besotted' with him anymore, he knows he aint gonna get the sex as easily as he assumed he would. He knows it's gonna take more than a few sweet words on his part to get what he wants from you - and it's too much like hard work for him, so he's backed off. He aint interested in you as a partner anymore, but as in a bedmate, else he'd be prepared to do the work involved in winning you back!! IMO he aint worth your time, find someone else who is, he's out there somewhere. Good Luck