PavPPZ1

You need to make some changes, because your emotional state is not good. You and your boyfriend are yet young, but spending all of your time on crying and trying to fix phantom problems. I think the two of you need to take this oppertunity realize that there is no reason for you to be so upset and in all of this pain. One of you needs to get up and walk away, if only to start concentrating on life again.

If you can imagine this is the prime of your life, do you want to spend it sulking in your bed and trying to figure out what is making you miserable. It seems that its most likely this relationship, neither of you seem to be happy, yet you are so weak and drained that you cant move on to look for happiness elsewhere. Well sometimes it takes a stronger person, or an awakening to become a stronger person, but steps need to be taken for change to occur.

The both of you need to talk, and if you will motivate this to happen, your words need to motivate him to try to pursue life, instead of concentrating on your relationship. I would even suggest, the two of you need a break, time appart so you can get your heads on straight. From there time will show exactly what will happen. My prediction is that you will move on first, this will force him to move on and grow as a person as well. Regardless of the short time in the long run both of you will be happier and better off from this.

Good luck, hope this helps

=;

I will tell you no matter what it is you think may be the case, every man has the builtin genome, to be sexually attracted to women.

No one in here has the scientific authority to disagree with this statement, this is the basis for my entire argument. Unless you can suggest that one man is somehow different from another genetically of phisically and this makes him gay. Nothing said can be agreed upon, because there is more proof supporting my statement then there is the latter. Please think carefully before trying to refute what is being said.

Show me an article or a shread of scientific evidence to suggest that a "gay" man and a "straight" man are somehow phisically or genetically differnt, otherwise do not shoot down my very valid argument, by basing your claim on your frustration and anger.

If there was a clue, which there may have been. You didnt act on it at this point I would probably let it go... As it might come off kind of strange if you found her now, coming out of the bushes and falling into her arms, with: "I have finally found you and I got your clue" this is not the best approach... I suggest you move on... Unless infact your paths cross, try to sparke a conversation and see wher it goes!

There is an alternative, you can start to stalk her, and lurk in the shadows, of her new employment, follow her home day in and day out. You will discover her scheduele and pattern, from which you may find her places of interest and find a pattern for them as well. Talk some of your friends into going out with you on a night you suspect her to being at these locales. Then as if a knight of schiverly and shining armor with pep to your step, come out and say, "Hi, what a coinsidence, I ve always come to this place its so nice to see you." the downside to this, going through all of this might infact be a possible clue to you having a highly irregular mental lapse of judgement. Perhaps furthermore, you may have serious mental discrepencies. If this information ever came out, she might think its cute. But by that point it is quite possible she would have discovered your true nature and this would have resulted in the downfall of your relationship.

What ever you choose as a solution,

Good Luck!

I will tell you no matter what it is you think may be the case, SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH has proven that a very small set of individuals are attracted to the same sex. This seems to be genetically based, in either case it clearly is not something the individual chooses. Seriously, dude, read a psychology textbook.

I will just add, that based on what you say, there is no scientific research to suggest that this particular guy has this genome. I am suggesting alternatives for him, as this is why he came here to ask for this information. I would like to share my thoughts to him, as you are obviously conserned what I say may sway his opinion. I see where your frustration may come from, but do understand that there is no single answer to this question. Also he has not said he is gay, he said he thinks he might be. I have given him an alternative, which will cause him less hardship to at least explore. I am not saying your suggestion is worse or not correct, bur rather that he should have a choice of topics to choose from. Based on this he will make his own decision, which is the correct course of action.

Hmm.

Say you had an STD - would you tell your partner?

 

What a partner 'needs' to know is really a matter of individual opinion.

As I said on a need to know basis, this would be semoething they need to know. It takes strict personal moral judgement to undesrstand what "On a need to know basis means"

Its very to the point, and it is a basic solution to the question asked. Which if applied in every case will yield the best possible outcome.

its a touchy situation, you should just figure out where you guys stand before you do anything with her at this point. You dont want to run into a sutiation where she says you did something she didnt want. Be very very careful man..

we are here if u need anything!

If a girl says, "maybe our paths will cross again" when she is certain it may be the last time she sees you, is this to be taken as a clue or is it my wishful thinking? I have a crush on her and that phrase stood out in my head. I never got a clue that she was interested in me, so I wonder if it meant more than it sounded or if I am grasping at straws. Thanks.

Can you please be more specific as its difficult to giveyou advice without knowing the extent of the situation.

Thanks

I feel you should talk to a counselor that you trust about the situation. A counselor that is familiar with crisis such as rape who will be able to understand your feelings and help you through the process. It is going to take some time to heal from this, it won't happen overnight.

I agree, this should be your first step, based on your therapy, you will come to the next steps to take.

Please also know that on behalf of myself and enotalone, we are here to help you through this, as you have found the courage within to share with us. It often-time makes such a tramendous difference to share your thoughts with people around you, by coming here and letting out your emotions is a very positive step in the right direction in overcoming your pain and suffering. We are here for you, console in us we are your friends and always want the best for our members.

with much love,

Paul

It sounds like someone sexually molested you. This sounds very painful and I am very sorry to hear it has torn you appart inside so much. I dont know who did this but I am getting a pretty good idea as to who it was. The best thing to do is to confront the person who did this. I think you have a right to know why and what was the reason for this. Was it forceful, and what happened, you cant live life without some kind of intervention. Being afraid of all men as a result is a terrible thing. You should definitly do something about this ASAP, do not let it sit inside you any longer.

Please add more to this as you feel necessary

not true, need to know basis means trust, I said nothing about lying about anything or cheating or stuff like that. Keeping things on a need to know basis with people in general is a rule of thumb, this will keep misunderstandings down to a minimum. Allow you to have some leverage in your life, there have to remain boundaries, peoiple have to remain individuals. This is very important.

Everything should be on a need to know basis...

8) If you need a shoulder to cry on come see me, I am missing an angel in my life

Okay I don't recall having this problem in the past. I'm starting to wonder if I'm giving off some vibe. It's really freaking me out. Okay this is happening at work. My married boss stuck her chest out and kicked her leg up while talking to me. An obvious lesbian woman flipped her hair as I walked past and simply said "Hi". I'm like I AM NOT A LESBIAN! What could I be doing to invoke this? Because I really don't want it.

I've noticed a bunch of lesbians flirting with me also these days. The woman at the coffeeshop always winks at me Don't be freaked out - it's flattering. They find you attractive. I just smile back. But I don't wink back Having had lesbian friends and roommates, I know that most of them are quite aware that over 90% of women they meet are straight, and they won't "push" their affections on you unless they get a clear signal that you are interested too.

Oh my my, i extend my deepest of condolences, this is just awufl...

I have to say, I feel deeply terrible about your dilema. On the flip side of the same token, I have been suffering from the same dilema. I have wanted to have lesbians flirt and hit on me for as long as I can remember. But I have had very little success, can someone Please Please give me some advice on how to have more lesbians in my life.

I think deep inside I am a lesbian too, and I just wish it would shine through, so we can finally put an end to all of this which keeps me from being with my girls.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Ok, I undertand where you are coming from, but as much as women like confidence in guys. Guys love strong and confident women even more who know what they want and know how to get it. This is the biggest turn on ever, and its so rare. As much as you think it doesnt, infact it puts you into position of control even more.

This is my view, good luck!

Well, I am talking about a guy who has all of the other qualities, such as brains, charisma, humour, in which direction is it better to go. Because from personal opinion I do not like women who are diesel and have huge muscles this is a turn off. I have always thought that we might have similar views on attractiveness. But again I am a guy, and girls may thi8nk differently.

I used to go to the gym religiously and lift take protein, i had some big muscles, now I just run and eat healthy, littlework out.. So I lost a lot of muslce, but still in good shape... Idk just askin, neways thanks if you guys have any more oppinions, its much appreciated!

How old areyou?

It sounds like you are dating some young guys, who are after what they want and do not listen when you tell them to stop. Or you do not infact convey the message that you want them to stop. Sometimes guys dont hear it unless you smack them and say listen I dont like that, its bothering me. STop!

You have to be very firm on how you express yourself in tehse things, especially with young guys.

They ignore the subtle signs..

if she's interested ull know

if she calls you back ur in, if not forget abut her

Call her up and say: "I am not madly in love with you, and I dont want to go on a date on friday" and hang up

I agree, I am just curious from the physical aspect

Well, I came to that conclusion too, but I am not a woman, so I dont know how to answer my own question as a girl would, know what I mean

you should move on, and be strong, do not ever be afraid of giving your heart ot anyone, just be strong about it. If you recognize someone doesnt apprecaite your love, or doesnt love you back, understand that they dont deserve you and move on.

good luck

dont listen to that friend, she is giving you some pretty pointless advice.. why waste time with anotehr guy... go for him right now, plus dont just use other guys... because everything that goes around comes around.. remember that

dont ask bank questions, be honest you are curious abotu him. Just call to say hi, its "name" and tell him you wanted to call and see how he was doing, maybe get together sometime

why not go with your true feelings?

Helo,

Just wanted to get some input on what kind of guys girls prefer more?

The kind of guys who are big huge and muscular, strong male features of strength and battle ready.

Or the kind of guy who is less grizzley, slender, very athletic, and cute.

Just a question to the ladies