Kevyn

Sometime toward the end of November, this guy that I have worked with for five years asks me out to dinner. Now, like I said, we have worked together, but are now in differnt departements, which is perfectly ok. What makes this interesting is that we have had some confilcts, so I was shocked that he asked. At the end of the dinner, I am told "I like you and want to continue hanging out with you, but I'm not into the 'relationship thing'." So we hung out a few times. Now, he has a nine-year-old daughter that he sees every other weekend, so I've always been very careful not to have any contact with him while he is with her. Like I said, we have had conflicts, and I was perfectly content with just working on a friendship with him. Things were going pretty well. I was treating him like I do any of my friends. Not aggressive, not pushing anything. Then, about a month ago, he turned 30 the same week that one of his friends died. Yes, he was struggling with the fact that he was turning 30. The reason I state that those two events occurred is because since then, he's been distant. I don't know if those two events have anything to do with the distance, but it's part of the time frame. I have decided that if he cannot confide in me what is bothering him, that I cannot push him. So I've backed off. This is painful for me because we were becoming good friends. And I miss my friend. But I think in order to keep my sanity, I have to keep my distance. What do you think?

Ok, I'm "hanging out" with this guy (his terms). And we're getting to be good friends. The problem is... he waits until the last minute to ask me to go do something. I mean the very last minute. Now, I like him and would possibly like for this relationship to progress with time. But I want someone who is going to think about me during the week. Someone who will ask me during the week what my weekend plans are to make sure they include him. Now, he has a younger daughter that he has every other weekend, so our free time consists of every other weekend. Our time is limited as it is. From the way I see it, I can: 1. Keep my mouth shut and just enjoy our time together (but I'll worry that he'll take for granted that I'll always be available when he calls.) 2. Let him know how I feel (but risk losing our friendship because I will start sounding like a girlfriend.) Does anyone have any suggestions? I do not want this to be a deal breaker in the relationship, but I want to know that he's not just killing time until someone better comes along.

Ok, tonight was my first date with a guy I have been intersted in for a while. After a very nice dinner, he decides to tell me that he's "not into the relatinship thing," but he likes me, thinks we have a lot in common, was happy that I went out with him, and wouldn't mind giong out again whenever I like. At first, I was floored. I couln't decide if I was mad or hurt. I went through both emotions and have landed on disappointed. I don't want to turn my back on him, but I can't really see us "hanging out." I don't want to lose his friendship. What would you guys do?

Hello, I just wanted to get a little feedback regarding something that is going on in my life right now. Let me know what you think. I'm interested in this guy I work with. Now, don't panic, it's not what you think. We have known each other for almost 5 years. Through many of the changes that have ocurred at this company, I have been his boss, he has been my boss, and we are now in two separate departments. I have changed a lot physically since we first met. I have lost almost 100 lbs in the past 15 months and have matured a lot during that time. For a long time, I could not stand this guy. I thought he was an arrogant jerk, and I doubt he thought very highly of me. We have not had a lot of contact with each other over the past year, since we are in separate departments. But recently, we have been doing a lot of running into each other. And I promise, some of it is not intentional. During this time, we have gotten to know a little about each other, and he has even been helping me with going back to school in January. Something tipped me off a couple of months ago that makes me think he might be interested in me. I had to call his department to ask for a favor (I needed him to do something for me regarding a customer). He wanted to know what he would get out of the deal. When I asked him what he wanted, he stated, "dinner." There was quite a pause after this request because I was trying to figure out just what he was asking (I didn't want to jump to conclusions). I kinda blew it off and he did, too. So it hasn't been brought up again. But he has mentioned that one of his newer employees thought that I was his girlfriend. I'm not sure if he gets teased about it or if it was just a misunderstanding (yes, I do have to go out to his department on occasion to speak with him.) At the advise of a mutual co-worker (who knows I am interested in someone, but does not know who), I have gotten a Hallmark card that simply says thank you (more or less for being a friend.) I will write in the card that I appreciate his help in answering my questions about going back to school in January. The co-worker states that with this card, I will be putting the ball in his court. If he's interested, then he will react to the card. If he'a not, then I have my answer and can move on. What do you think? By the way, I'm 25, single, no kids, never married. He's 29, single, 1 child, never married. It is not against the rules to date someone in a different department at our job.