motopilote

Well whe do have to go on with our lives, whe really d'ont have a choice. But today, i choose to have a good day, no matter what. I just c'ant wait nanymore, 2 months is long enough i think. I really d'ont know what tomorow will bring me, but i just want to enjoy today. Whe need to let it go, no other choice, and go on. It is not easy, nothing is ever easy, but it is reality and is where whe are, so i am trying to make the best. I still miss her and love her, but there is nothing i can do, like you, i have said everthing and all that, so why keep banging our head against the wall? It does not change the fact about how i miss her very much, but if i want to get trough the day, i have to not think about it, and that is hard, but no choice. I d'ont want anything for xmas eather, i just want it over with.

It does not get any better, i race motorcycles, and have not been on one since September, i have quit living and things i use to enjoy seam very dull,but i am healing, i feel it. I just try not to think about it anymore, the way i look at it, they waisted our time and energy, so why waiste any more on them. It does not mean i am ok, no, but i am findind a routine, slowly. I went trought 4 jobs, can you imagine? But i decided she has no more power on me. Yes they play mind games, last night she was asking me how i felt about her and what i though about her, i was honest, but now i know she just wanted her ego boosted up, i am so dam stupid i fell for it, in the mean time god knows what she was thinking. I am such a dam fool,but there is one good thing i am proud off, i never told her the whole time that i loved her or missed her, i fell good about that.She is playing a game with my head and my emotions, and i want no part of it anymore, if she has something new to say to me, she can leave it on voice mail, but i d'ont want to talk to her, made an fool out myself long enough, and frankly i am too tired of the whole thing. You should go out and look for a job, anything, it get us out of the house, and gives us something to do, i still have a hard time concentrating but i =am doing it, fot that i am proud off and feel good. Thing is, this expereince has changed me in many ways, i d'ont think i will ever be the same, ever, i d'ont know if it is a good thing or bad, but it changes us.I think you right, they d'ont want a relationship or anything, just want to keep tabs and make sure whe are here in case they NEED us again, plus i think there is a lot of guilt, but mainly for they ego. That's what i think. I have nothing to say to her, and in any case i d'ont trust anything she would say or believe, so why bother.

I begged too and all that back in October, but you knwo what, she not worth it. We are fools, we got used and got abused, and then dumped, like Well that was fun but i'm bored now.. Well you know what Piss off, i d'ont need it. You should go home, dump the house, and leave, new adventures await you like for me, no more waisting our time, they have moved on, so why c'ant whe? All whe have to do is deceide it, and i did 2 weeks ago, but now, i am mad at myself for talking o her, she must have laughting at me, or thinking some other uglyness about me, well, i d'ont want the abuse anymore. I just d'ont care, i have to save myself, nothing else matters, and i felt good before i talked to her, felt good during convertation, and here is one thing she asked me, she asked how i felt, i told the truth, I said i feel great, she seamed disturbed by that. Man i have been trough a lot in my life, i mean a lot, never this, and never again. I d'ont have 17 tattoos for nothing and did not grow up on the steets snd survived to have 1 person end me..

I really d'ont want to talk to her. I have said everthing i could, 50 times, and she knows how i feel. She has total control of the situation. Well i'm taking control, i am moving on, i really d'ont need this crap in my life anymore, It is making me crazy, you know. I hope i can meet someone who will respect me and like me and have feelings like a normal person, i hope that happens, but until then, just going to take care of me. I' m not even mad anymore, i just d'ont care, screw it you know, not worht it. I really d'ont want to hear from her, and i will certainly not call her. This has been a dark time for me and my heart and my soul, but i can see a dim light in front. I am starting to feel good. I think whe all diserve someone who will like us like whe are and not deceve us or use us. It is their loss, what comes around goes around. So good luck to you, my ex, but i will survive, and being happy is the best revenge, i think. No more control on me. I will find a perfect match for me, not a cyco. In your case, move on, i know it is hard, but the sooner the better. Do whe really want to be with someone who hurt us this much, drove us over the edge and broke our heart and dreams, and to them it is no big deal, just another day? Well i d'ont and i c'ant go there again. This is what they want, so good luck to them, wish them the best, really, but my revenge will be being happy with myself and having a great partner. It does not mean i d'ont miss her or d'ont love her, i do, but i d'ont like this person i got to know trough all this, do you? I d'ont want them in my life, no thank you. Does this mean i am healing? I d'ont know, i am just doing what i feel i need to do. I wish i had never meet her, and i wish she had not talked to me, i feel like such a fool and so stupid. That will not happen again, this person has hurt me enought and made me feel bad enought, well it stops now, right now, no more, d'ont need it, my life is too important to me. THIS STOPS NOW. You should try and keep busy you know, clean the house or something it will help, believe me, slowly it helps.

je comprend ta peine, moi aussi j'ai le coeur mal, grace a une nana, tu peut lire mon histoire. Salut

Hey Donna. It is hard to live that close, but you know i have to deal with it. Turns out she called my sister before she called me, told my sister she thought i was obsested with her, and that i was going to move to the city to keep an eye on her. Man wtf? I have to move, because i d'ont get along with my roomates boyfriend and there is no heat here, plus i want to live by myself. That really makes me mad. I told her yesterday i d'ont need you in my life to be happy and that she was not the center of my life and she was not all that. I am so mad. Man some things you just c'ant take back, you know. If that is what she thinks why the f@@@k did she call me and talk to me 3 hours.I'm not crazy, i think she is the one that is crazy, and she is driving me crazy.I am very mad. You know what, the hell with her, i d'ont think i would take her back, i d'ont need people in my life that mess with my head. You know i buried all those feelings and put a lid on it, and talking to her set me back, nothing changed. I miss her, but who is this person i once new?Man talk about messing with me. I really think i need to move on, and forget her. I have to think she will never call me again, and as much as it hurts,it helps. I c'ant do this anymore, really, or i'm going to get sick. I love her and would love to be with her, but i d'ont like this person, where did she come from? ARRRR. I am so angry. Man i can have anyone i want, and i need to do that. One day she will regret this, and i am not sure i will want to talk, to talk about what anyway, she ruined the last 4 months of this year, c'ant even enjoy the hollidays, man this sucks, i wish i had never,ever meet this person. I am so stupid, mostly i am angry at myself. GOD i am so mad and frustated. Screw it, the hell with her

It is a hard time to be alones, but what else can we do. I still c'ant believe she called me, maybe she will call me again, She did say a couple off things witch makes me things she might have dought, but time will tell. She lives about 20 minutes away from me, and when i go to tow, i see all the places whe went out at, it is crushing, we went out all the time. i think you are right about getting through this, after, other things wont seam as big. Off course New Years wont be easy, last year we went out dancing and had a great time. This really sucks. maybe if i ignore her she will come back. I still think whe belong together, maybe i am being selfish. One hour at a time for me, today and tomorow. This had been the hardest thing ever. I miss her everyday. I think she might have cried on the phone, she said she was not, but i dought it. I always hope she will call me and say she wants to be with me, but it has been 2 months. I hope my horoscope is right.

Hey Donna. This took my breath away, like never before, like i said i did not feel like that about my ex wifes and i too whas with them longer the her, this really knocked me on my but. I am sorry you are alone, during the holidays, but so am i, even though i have a sister and a brother, nothing makes it better. Maybe you should go see your daughter, it might help. I just try to stay bussy, when i am not bussy, i slide down that road, and i just d'ont want to anymore. I miss her so much, but half the time i say to myself i d'ont want her back, and the other half i want her back. Maybe i am crazy. As for the holidays, i think to myself what holidays, they d'ont exist for me, so screw the holidays and all that, the hell with it. I d'ont know if you know Leo's but whe hate loosing, and i think in this case i need to surender and let it be, for my sake. If she changes her mind i will be here, i will not contact her, i have said all i could, and to be honest it is taking a toll on me, when i look in the miror, i see a sad person who has not laughted in 2 months or smiled, my world just cave in just like that. I take it one hour at a time, and sometimes an minute at a time. The past does not matter, tomorow does not exist, only thing that is real is right now. I feel very old and just worn out and so tired, but i c'ant rest, because when i rest i think and that is not good, so i go to sleep when i am exausted, you know. time heals i guess, it will take me a year or longer, i d'ont know, i d'ont have any plans, just trying to work and keep my job. I hate loosing and not getting what i want. I have no problem meeting other woman, just want that one. Very frustating. I am a good person, honest and giving, i d'ont hold back, and i am dedicated, maybe someone will find that important one day. I am sure you are a good person too, it makes me wonder why this crap happened to us, is it because whe are too nice? As for the nights, i wish she was cuddled up with me like we use to, but she is not, reality is here and it is very painfull. I am going to go on dates, maybe that will help, i d'ont see another solution, i have waited long enought, d'ont you think? I just need to pick it up one piece at a time, and i feel like that is what i am doing, and i slide back very often, maybe one day i will not. I have not talked to my friends in weeks and i really d'ont have anything to say to them, the whole thing makes me feel like i am repeating myself, you know. So what else can i say, nothing had changed. I just go to my brothers and talk to him and download music, that keeps me bussy, the i come home, and crash out exausted. That is what i do. I almost stayed home tonight, but felt that slide coming, so i left. I am so tired physicly and emotionaly and in my brain, just so tired, i wish it will change. I will not contact her and respect her wish, this is what she wanted. I did not have a say in any off it. So if i hang out with another woman, maybe i will forget about her and the pain will go away, and i will feel better about myself and who i am.This whole thing has taken a toll on my heatlh and everthing else, i can feel it. But it does not matter, who know what tomorow will bring us. This web site and talking to you also helps a lot. But at the end off the day, nothing had changed, still in same old situation

Yes i think about that, but it does not seam in the future, so i am tryng not to think about it. If she did come back, i want it all. She told me tonight if i told you to come over you would in a heart beat, and be here in 30 minutes, i said i would have to think about, and i really would. She also said if whe meet i would want to go home with her, i said i would go home, and i would, i c'ant have a taste, i want it all. She thinks i want to be her friend to get her back, i just want to be friends and feel at least i got that out off a year, if not it really was not worht it.As far as trust goes, if she did come back i would not let her in my heart like i did, and be on my guard, but trust is something that comes back. She said for me not to call her, she said she will call me, i say ok. I am tired of fighting this loosing battle, it's sucked out everthing out off me. I miss her so much, i would give anything to be with her, and i have, there is nothing else i can do, i know that.Glad you had a shower and got some things done. It is hard isnt it? I think the older whe get, the more it hurts, do you think?I have been reading my hororscope, i am a leo, it keeps teeling me there is a reconcialation coming for me around the 21 december, i have checked several sites and they all tell me the same, but i d'ont want to get my hopes up. maybe they all wrong. They also tell me that for me to get everthing i want in love i need to take the hight road, i d'ont understand what that means

My name is Frederick. Last time i talked to her was last month, when i was in instituttion. I have mixed feelong about the conversation, not sure what it was all about. I d'ont think i will hear back from her for a while, but who knows. How are you doing? I told her i just wanted to be friends, she said no you want me back i said no, just friends, and today that is all i want, to be honest, tired of fighting it, i am moving on, but tomorow i will miss her, it was nice to talk to her, man did i miss talking. 3 hours, i c'ant believe it, it was a lucky day i guess, she very comfused about somethings i believe. Not sure what to think, i d'ont feel anything, just happy to have talked to her, but i d'ont have any hopes or ilusions, if i did i would just be disapointed anyway, i d'ont want to set myself up anyway.

SHE CALLED ME, i c'ant believe it... Talked for 3 hours,3 hours. Wow. No whe not back togheter, but it was nice to talk, not sure what the outcome will be, but i told her i wanted to be friends, she said she will think about it, i apologized for a lot off things, but it was nice to clear the air and get some things staight,nothing got resolved, but it is a step, i guess. Who know what tomorow will bring. I was just happy to hear her voice. Man this is just eating up all my energy. I c'ant believe she actually called. I d'ont think i will hear from her again, might be wrong, but just a feeling i have. I miss her, she was my best friend. This blows. Tomorow might bring more or less.... I will find out i guess, unfortunately

I know what you mean about how you feel. All i see abd have seen for the last few weeks are happy people with their wifes and girlfriends shopping for the holidays and just having a good time, it makes me sick, really, really sick. I wanted to spend the holidays with ther and her familly, oh well. I did not just loose her, i lost common friends, and her familly, witch i happen to like very much. Sounds from your story you got used for a trip back to his home, i am sorry to say. Well last night i dreamed about her all night, makes me feel so empty and alone. I sleeped 6 hours, going to work. I do have a feeling she is going to call me today, for some reason, i hope it will not ruin my day When i think off all the crap she told me, and then i see where i am am, i just d'ont know what to think, i c'ant believe this has appened to me, and why. I c'ant wait for the holidays to be over, and spring, now it gets dark at 4:30 pm, what iam i supposed to do? Sit here and have a good time? I know you where just fine before you meet him just like i was, i really was, happy with myself, my life, who i was, i just felt great every day, all the time, and now, well i just feel like there is nothing left and like i said my life has stoped. The thing is where were a great match, and she knows it, deep down in my heart i feel like whe will be back together, but i d'ont know if i just feel like that to make myself feel better and just not loose it or what. Maybe i am crazy, i d'ont know anymore.Like i said you have your children. I wanted to have a familly with this woman. Whe had so much fun together, god help me and give me strenght to live every hour, eather bring her back or make me forget about her now. Not in 6 months. So whe are supposed to sit and take it and bear it. What the hell was the point? Are whe bad people? I d'ont think i am, and i d'ont think you are. Something has got to change or give, at this point. Screw time and all those sayings, this is my life that got messed with, and i want my life back, i d'ont know how else to say how i feel. I am sure she is just having a great time, and i d'ont think she misses me, man i feel like crap

Well it sounds like my story. She just acted the next day like no big deal, you need to take your clothe home, ect,ect. I gave her everthing she ever bought me, and left her everthing i bought her. I am a carpenter, i had made her a wooden chest with carving and stuff, finished it and all, took me 2 weeks, she asked if i wanted to take it, i said no i built it for you, when i give i give i d'ont take back. Being in the institution helped me a lot at the time, it did not bring her back in my life. How can you just turn off the feelings like that. I d'ont get it. I want my girlfriend back, i want her back in my life, i want my life back, and i want the future i had planed, i want my life back!!!! now. Maybe she will call me tomorow, maybe i can get her back if i am her friend. Do you think it is worth it? I hope i can do it. God help me,please, for once do something for me and give me the one thing i want. Can you do that for me god? For once? I would go back to florida if i was you. Sel the house and go, i am so tired, c'ant sleep, d'ont want to. ....The holyday make this worst, man this is awfull...how am i supossed to go on?

Well i think you have to face it, it is over, i am just saying that to help you, d'ont get mad at me. Last time i saw my girlfriend, whe had agreed, whe would just hang out and have some wine and cheese, but had agreed no kissing or anything like that. so i went to her house, i mean my old house, and whe were just hanging out, and talking about everthing but our situation, then eventually whe started to talk about us, and it was killing me to hear her say it was over so i told her i am going to go home i could not do this, then she got up and came and sat on my lap and started kissing me telling me how much she loved me and stuff, long story short i stayed the night, had sex with her several times, and then in morning she said nothing as changed, whe not back togheter, i was like how could you do this to me, it hurt so bad, still does, i could not believe my ears,a week later i was in institution. I just fliped, and i think Zoloft had something to do with it..i asked her why she did that she said she felt sorry for me. I agree with you, you just d'ont turn off feelings like a faucet, it did not take an hour to get here, it's not going to take an hour to get out. Sounds like you have gotten done the same way as me, and i am going to tell you this, move on now and turn it off, but coming from me it's not worth anything, i miss her more everyday.Trust me i beged, pleaded everthing you can imagine, even took her on airplane ride over the city, in by plane, nothing, nothing, nothing. Did email where i poored my heart out like never before, nothing, nothing. How do you turn off feelings like that, in a blink off an eye? I want to know the trick so i can use it now. I want her back now!!! as for you if you want him back, ignore him,if he does not come back move on. go out on dates. anything. a hobby. thatis what iam doing.or triyng to do. Sometimes i miss her so much, i c'ant breathe. why did this happen to us? are we crazy?

Maybe you are right about them not caring, i just have a hard time acepting that, i think about all the things she told me about how she felt about us, and then over night, c ya. I know i have exausted my friends, when i talk to them, they say you still on that, why? ect,ect and i'm like hey man that is how i feel, and that is it.i d'ont know if i will get over it, i get the same advice as you get from friends. How long ago did you break up?I am trying to go on, but i have a really hard time giving up, i am a leo and i hate loosing, and not getting what i want kills me. Well at least i found this site, and i am enjoying this conversation. Man i miss her. I am so tired, i c'ant keep my eyes open, but i d'ont want to go to sleep, listeneing to music, it helps a lot. I am hopeless about what to do, and to be honest, i am stuck, feel like everthing stoped

Well i am sorry about your situation, i have found in the last 2 months, the only thing that helps is to talk about it, you know, that is all i can talk about, make me wonder if i am crazy or have a fixation. So i guess i have bored all my friends or i just feel like they d'ont understand. I have been hanging out with my brother, he is getting a divorce, so whe tal a lot, plus i get music of the internet. As far a sleep goes, i go to sleep when my eyes close, i guess from exaution, and then i wake 2 or 3 times in midle of night, sometimes i think she is next to me in bed, but i am asleep.I d'ont have any answers. I'm all out.How long did you go out with this guy? I know what you mean about the phone calls she called me from a trip she took to ge see some friends of ours, to tell me about theyr appartment and how much fun she was having, ect,ect... i c'ould not believe it, i was on the phone crying, i d'int even cried when my mom died, i just c'ould not believe it. The worst thing about a broken heart, it does not kill you, and when you really think about it , it should.

here is the thing i d'ont get, when she was breaking up with me she was telling me I love you.WTF? I d'ont get it. Everyone has told me if she did i would not be in this situation right now, and i think they are right, as painfull as it is, she just used me i guess, or did not mean it. I told her i wanted mary her, that is saying to someone" I will be there for your friend, i will nuture you, i will be your friend, i will love you, I will share my life with you' and, well i guess i was not good enought. I any case she will regret it, many, many, ex girlfriends call me back later and say i messed up, please blah blah, but then it is too late.I have been maried twice, and i never felt like this about them, i mean, in my heart i know she is the one, you know? what the hell am i to do? i feel like my heart just got riped out and trown in the trash. How will i ever trust anyone else?or let them in my life. Man i am to old for this crap. I am tired of starting over. I just want to not feel any pain anymoreand i am tired of missing her. What am i suposed to do? wait? go on? I really feel like my life just stoped dead in it's track you know. and then i think of her being on dates and being with another, that just rips my soull. how can it be that easy? I know she is out having a good time. and me, well i am just trying to live one day at a time, and mostly one hour at a time. i lost 4 jobs over this, i have a good one now, and i d'ont want to loose it,my bills are a disaster, like my life

really, i miss her so much....god help me

Yeah i really d'ont get it how you just drop people like that. The sayings from people really iritate me. You should shower, i do that.But just not hungry much anymore, i eat once a day and half of what i use to eat. As for the craving i have, it is my brain telling me it is releaf, you know, i am not sure if i want to bo back down that road, but, dam, something had to change, iswear it is intsant releif. My physcologyst, i have one now thanks to my ex, and also a therapyst, put me on Zoloft, but it did not agree with me, tried to commit suicide and was in institution for a few days, i actually liked being in there, felt safe and happy, like going back home to mom, you know. But i d'ont know what any off the answers are, i feel cheated, stupid, ugly, worthless, you name, i just feel like crap. When i think off wanting to feel better, first thing is drugs. I am so angry at god for letting this happen to me.What am i supossed to learn from all this crap..a stupid advice that is.Off course it is easy to sit and give when you are at home with your wife and girlfriend and everthing is ok, i just happen to be the one on the other side of the line whose world has ended and dreams got crushed, so what to say.

Well i d'ont think telling him about Hiv is a good idear. I was perfectly happy before i meet this girl, worked for myself, had many friends, money, hobies, ect, i was so happy i though i should have apartner to share all that with, so i joined link removed, and meet Debbie. Over a year togheter, shared everthing with her, told her things about me no one knows, i mean i shared it all, she told me last april i should opent up and let her in my heart, she said it was creating problems, ect,ect, so i did, and here is my reward. AAAARRRGGG. I, do not wish her any harm, i love her too much, i wanted to grow old with her, and still do,but i hope she comes back one day, who knows. It is hard to have all your dreams crushed and taken away and then all your friends can say is learn from it or give it time, very frustating.I just d'ont know what to do. I have been so miserable, tired of feeling bad everyday and minute, i have had a battle in my head, i use to be a intravenous drug user, a long time ago, and now i crave it, everyday, first time in 12 years, that is where i am. At leats when you do that, you feel no more pain, you actually feel good, talk about an instant relief. I wish i had never,never meet her, if i could do it all again. I d'ont understand how you just drop someone like a turd? I really d'ont. I did not do anything wrong.Why me? It's not fair, and unjust. Something needs to change....God or whatever needs to come trough for me, not in 6 months, now

I quit calling my all my friends, because all i talk about is the break up and her and how i feel, i think they are tired of hearing about it, but it is on my mind all the time and i am living it every minute off the day, so i understand what you talking about, believe me. I hate to say it and d'ont mean to hurt you but maybe he is back with is Ex? I guess you have to try to make the best out of it, like me. I got dealt a bad hand, but surelly a full house or a royal flush has to be on the way, at least i hope. I even started praying and even whent back to church, just to show, d'ont know where else to turn, my life is chaos right now, the boat sank and i am in the life boat in the ocean, just being blow by the wind, no direction. At least you have your children, me i just have 2 cats, but my cats love me all the time for who i am.

Where the hell are you? I use to live in NYC, and Connecticut. How old are you? If i was you i would leave, sounds awfull.I just have been working, keeps me busy, worked Sat and Sun, nothing else to do.You know i can be in room full of people and i still feel alone. Is that normal? The oly person who could make me feel better is not here, so i'm going to have to re-learn how to make myself happy.

Eminem works, also Ntm, Arsenik, Noir desir, music from my country, i am French, from Paris. I also found Suicidal Tendencies helps a lot, old Punk band from the 80's. As for the holidays, just going to get very drunk, nothing else to do, Most off my familly is dead from old age. Oh well, C'est la vie, mec. WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH. Man people suck.

Well, i just d'ont know what else to do, i guess you are right, if they wanted to be with us, whe would not be here siting typing on this site, hard reality, and it sucks. My heart bleads everyday. So much for happy holidays, i wanted to spend them with her and her familly, i d'ont have a familly, just a brother and sister. So i have been listening to a lot of music, angry music, and that helps a lot. I have a few dates lined up for next week, and i have to say, it is nice to have someone interested in me and my life and my idears, but deep down i know it will not be the same, but i am going to try not to think about it and enjoy the dates, i c'ant wait anymore, and i really d'ont want to spend new years alone, i want to kiss someone at midnight, it just wont be her, and i think that is her loss. One day she will regret it. I am a good person, loving and loyal.So the hell with hit, i choose life, and i made a choice not to make a choice, just going to go with theflow and whatever happens. C'ant fight anymore, too tired. I have lost 15 pounds since October.

Well i have done a lot off thinking, and i would like some input. I decided, since it has been over 2 months, i c'ant wait anymore, i have waited for email or phone call, i have to go on with my life. It is hard to believe she d'ond want anything to do with me, i really did not do anything. I am moving on, took all those feelings and put them in a box in my heart and closed the lid, i d'ont think i can anything else, i am tired off waiting, it breaks my heart, but i really d'ont have a choice. I d'ont think she is coming back anytime soon, and if she does it might be in a few months, but i have given up hope on all that. I told myself for weeks she would come back, well now i tell myself she is not and i have to move on for my sanity. This has been the hardest breakup ever in my life. I also feel comfused, i think maybe i d'ont love her anymore because i want to move on, but what else can i do. I d'ont think my feelings have changed, just given up. I would give everthing to be with her, but if she does not want to be or does not want anything to do with me, i d'ont feel i have choice and to be honest, i did a lot off mistakes during the breakup, things i could have done diferently if i had taken a minute to think about it, but i felt like the wind got knocked out of me and my world crumbled, i have never been in a situation where i felt so helpless and could not regain control over a situation. This had been the worst experiance in my life, something i do not want to go throug again. I miss her so much, everyday and miss what we had, but if this is the way, what else can i do. To be honest, this sucks, i would still do love to be with her, but now i have to save myself, pick up the pieces and go on and close the door on her. The thing that scares me about doing that is once it is done, there is no turning back, so if, for some reason comes back in my life one day, i dought i would be interested, but i say that and i know i am fooling myself, i guess i have to convince myself about that so i can move on. All my dreams have been shatered and it really does not feel good, and unfortunately the holidays make it worst. I really, really d'ont ever want to go throught this again.Ever. It is not worth it. Anyone have any input on all this?I feel so guilty about having to move on, i really go trough so manydifferent emotions during the day. This sucks