SomeShyGuy

Wow, I don't know why but now I feel depress and suicidal again. I think its because of work. Over there I don't talk to anyone and feel isolated and not welcomed. Crystal Dawn, that is some good advice but I tend to memorize things too much and forget them within the next week. For example, the planets I can recite in a flash becuase as a kid I was interested in Astronomy, so I can remember that easily. Its everything else that worries me, everything that the workplace needs to me remembered. I get scared that if I don't rememeber how to do it, I get nervous and just don't do it being afraid that Ill mess it up. (eg working on a car) I don't know what it is but I don't feel that great about myself, feeling suicidal agin isnt that good...

Thanks for replying, c00kie and CrystalDawn. Its good to know that there are indeed people out there somewhat on my level of crisis. Well I just want to let everyone know that lately I have been feeling really good about myself and just in general really happy. My new refound glory of skateboarding has gotten my confidence pretty high, just a good feeling. My friends have been great and ive been interacting with them pretty well. Just today I took the day off work and just hung out with some people I havent hung out with for a while and met a new friend. Things are looking good! Also, asked about the ADD case to my bro, he said to just try to my best and fight it off. This is dumb becuase I know I won't be able to, I think that some type of meds will help. I didn't know what to say back to him except okay. I need anything to help this problem of so much forgetfullness...

Hecka, I replied to your PM. MetallicAguy, I know it might be easy for YOU, but this is me we are talking about. About 98.9% of people are normal, that other percent are people like me, nervous around new people, afraid to start a conversation, or keep the conversation going. Now I know that you might be one of those 98.9%, but I simply am not. Everyone knows that I am just another quiet guy (not a normal person) and that I don't act like myself around anyone except my TRUE friends (in which I have very little). Please, don't try to tell me to *TRY* because if I did, trust me I would fail miserably. There are people that are shy and know what to do, but I am not one of them, everything I try to do, I just don't get it right, everything. Everywhere I go, I analyze everyone around me, try to distinquish their personality, and almost everywhere, they are above my personality. Even if they are quiet, they still probably know more stuff to life than me. I've even been fakingly making slit marks on my wrists with my nails......how awesome is that? On the other hand, I have some good news, I've decided not to kill myself anytime soon (oh isnt that great). Going back to school this monday made me realize how great friends I have. They cheer me up and make me feel somewhat important. It seems that not being in school and with friends (and going to work) makes me depressed and makes me suicidal. I just wish that I had a better personality than I have now, all my friends have great personalities (funny, dumb, confidence!) I'm sorry if I am pissing anyone off with this non-sense talk, if you think its dumb, feel free to reply about it. Also, I now have started up skate boarding again, something that I haven't done in a while, so that should keep me occupied for a while. Other than that, nothing else has changed, I stil feel depresed at times and want to end it all.... I think the problem with me is I have a big case of ADD. Maybe thats why I forget almost everything so quickly, im going to try and get it checked out. If it turns out that I do and take some meds, then I can stop thinking about suicide (oh how nice that would be....)

Wow, I just about typed the longest response that actually made sense and right when im putting the last few sentences in, the browser decides to crash...just great....ok let me try this again (sorry if it doesnt make sense, but my mind is pretty messed up with ideas right now...) I know that being slow can be a huge burden on someones life, but what is the point if it just gets you yelled at all the time? I mean being slow does not have any upsides to it does it? Unless the fact that everyone recognizes it and they know you for it....but how can that be an upside? Even if I do take my time trying to finish a task, it still comes out crappy, it just took a little bit more time and pissed off people more. Sometimes I can't even take my time to do some things, I have to do it fast or else I piss off my co-workers/manager. I really wouldn't be surprised if I got fired next week or so, and if that did happen, I know im not fit for this world..... I'm very glad that youre personality is great, hecka! Its good to know that there are people like you out there in the world. If the world were run by me, then there would be no tomorrow (Literally) I've realized the fact that im not my brother. I've realized the fact that im an introverted, passive person. The fact that gets me down is my friends and cooworkers personalities. They dont have a problem getting things done correctly, they dont have to worry about meeting new people, they dont have to worry about talking to anyone about anything, they dont have to worry about being themselves in front of large groups. These traits are what make up people, and it doesnt make up me at all I just want you to know, Hecka, (and all the others who have been reading this) to know that you all have great things in life that you take granted. Some people just have things that others don't and they dont see it. Hecka, for example, you have a great outgoing personality, and you shouldn't let that get out of hand at all! I know that it may seem to you all as common sense, but it doesn't apply as common sense to me! Meeting new people for me a is a TASK. I find it extremely hard to talk to someone that I just met a few minutes ago, while for some here its about the easiest thing to do. Some have weaknesses, others don't. Some have great lives, others don't. Some make it through rough times, others don't. Some are given wonderful personalities, others are not so fortunate. Well you can see where i'm going with this... Ive been thinking all day about finally putting an end to all this. I always thought of suicide as a joke just to cheer me up kinda when I get mad. Today, I have been actually contemplating it for so long (almost all day), thinking about how I should do it, when I should do it, and how will the people that I know react...I am serious about this now....I must go through with it soon..quite possibly next week...i cant keep living like this...........

Thanks a lot for your words. They mean a lot, I mean you could have done anything besides post back to this thread, right? (Especially you, hecka, thanks) Well I don't know what is going on now, still thinking about it every day, every night. It seems like my self confidence is going down every single day. I wish that I could raise it, but how? People are PEOPLE! They act the way they act. Shy people act shy and reserved, extroverts act like extroverts. I've always heard from people like my brother "change yourself, be more lively!" but how can I if its written into my personality that I'm not that lively of a person??? People always say "oh hes so quiet" and yes that does kinda tick me off becuase its true. Deep down inside I'm just another shy person. I always think about the people out there (and im pretty sure there is someone like me out there, just not that many, a rare breed I gues you can say) and how they are contributing to society. I hate when the people at my work get pissed off at me because I can't get things done as fast as them or comprehend things are fast as them. I hate getting yelled at constantly by everyone. I hate the fact that I can't read people's "body language" and take sarcasm when its given. I hate how I can't just "change" Sorry for the late replies...but I just can't get my thoughts together that quickly......

Thanks for the support guys, but it does very little. I've been thinking lately and I just don't know what to do with my life..... Everyday seems to get worse and worse....why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just be talkative and learn things that normally click?! I'm so dumb I cant even comprehend most things. If someone explains to me how to work a simple machine, ill forget in 2-3 minutes and ask a series of dumb questions.....why???? People think about suicide when they break up with their girlfriends and boyfriends.......Hey buddy, at least you got a one...you'll eventually get past that person and move on....and hey, you'll get someone else maybe too!! Me? I've got no one...and probably no one ever.... Why couldn't have I just gotten a normal life like all these people everywhere. I always think in school of the many different people ther are. Every single person in all of my classes has a different personality, EVERYONE! While I am the lame boring quiet guy.....I just don't get it. Everyday I think about suicide and how nice i'd be to end all of this before I actually go out and live in the real world..........how nice it would be indeed...... I feel that if I am gone from this world that no one will miss me and will just have gotten rid of another soon-to-be failure......The world doesn't need people like me....The world needs smart, enthusiastic, lively people..not quiet, dumb, and solitary people.....

People's work ethics are set when they start school (ie 3rd-6th grade and so forth) so from then on he was strong from the start. Mine was obviously lower and followed throughout my whole life up to this point. People think differently about different things, and im just a simple minded person. The fact that everything I do is wrong or say the wrong things or am sensitive to other people's comments just makes up the way I am...worthless. I don't even know what im expecting in my college years....probably the same thing going on now...absolutely nothing. BTW: Thanks for the advice/comments, I greatly appreciate them, fmfisdead, and everyone that posts in this topic.

Hello people, Well I'm just going to start off by explaining my problem. I seem to be a rare type of guy to find. I'm quiet, really dumbstruck, and just not an exciting person. I have a brother that is probably one of the smartest people I know and has a insane work ethic, but yet I am the laziest person you will ever meet (if you ever meet me) I don't understand how he is so outgoing, extremely smart and now rich, alwways had something new to do...and I have nothing. I am not that outgoing, im more reserved to myself, not smart at all, and well lets just say I have a minimum wage job (im 17). I have been dealing with this fact my whole life but have not really realized this until the past few months. I can only meet certain types of people, people that will actually come up to me and try to make friends. At work I only get along with one person there and he is my age, I can't seem to get along with people older than me (eg. my brother) At family gatherings, I don't say a word unless I'm asked a question, and my answer is usually a "yes" or a "no" followed by no other words. Everyone thinks that I'm useless. I wish I could be more like my brother and say things that I wouldnt normally in front of a group of people such as my family. I rarely talk to my parents about anything....I haven't ever had a girlfriend before, and I haven't joined a school activity in any of my four years of high school. I get decent grades but I really forget really quickly what I learn and no matter how hard I try to forget anyways.... See, if I had grades going for me (get all A's in AP courses, etc) then I would not be here writing this post . but since I am not in high courses (regular classes) AND I am a loser, I got suicide on my mind. I always thought of it as A.) Be smart and be labeled a nerd all my life or B.) Be funny, charming, and a ladies man, but be dumb. Any of these two choices I will take but since I have NEITHER of them makes me think. I know these ideas are very weird and are not normally thought of, but this is waht I think about in my spare time..... Well to get to why I posted this in this section as if you haven't figure it out by now....I have thought about suicide before...but never have really tried or "planned" a date. I'm a really lonely guy and plan to be probably for the next coming years...... I will update this post as soon as I get my thoughts together....this was kinda randomly written with the basic ideas in my head...

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Hello people! I'm have a really confusing problem! OK so here is how it goes, if you read my other posts (the really long one), there is this girl I really liked back in October or so. Now, we're just REALLY REALLY good friends. I still kinda like her, but the problem is (if you read my post) that she is taken. Of course one would gradually lose interest every day after..but somehow I still like her.... Anyways heres the confusion....I think that she likes me back. We have a class together (we dont sit next to each other anymore, but we used to) and everyday after class she WAITS for me. We both have AIM and she always is the first one to IM me. I always JOKE around with her saying I have a gf (I am really single) and she is always asking "who is she" "tell me who she is and ill stop bothering you...etc". I am almost positive that she talks to me more than her bf....but im not sure....Also I have lunch with her but i dont sit next to her. I sit 1 table accross from her (she is with her bf there)..and I always catch her staring at me.... What i'm saying is...what should I do? I'm not sure if she likes me or is just being a really good friend....gimme some advice/pointers!

Nice job, I knew you could do it! Now it seems to lean more toward the side of her not having a bf, but hey I can be wrong. Is that the cell phone # that she gave you or her house phone? If you got her cell, even better! Make sure you call her and have a LONG conversation, hehe. Good Luck!

I just read this topic over again and just realized that I am responsible for your no-trying. My post is VERY similiar to yours, but there could be a huge turnaround: the bf situation. Now my post wasn't meant to discourage you, but keep in mind that only one of two things can happen: either she has a bf or not. So make sure you are happy around her, make her feel comfortable around you and you will have NO problems getting her #. Now.......go get em TIGER. 8) 8) 8) Tell me how you do tomorrow.....

Hey, you can't ***ASSUME*** that she has a bf, that just complicates things. If it boils down to it, ASK HER! You just can't put an assumption on your mind and expect it to be true. Thanks for using my post as a reference, it seems that the girl me and you are chasing are alike in every way, however, there has to be somewhere where it splits. I can only say that you MUST try and get her #, there will be no point if you don't....... So....go for it! Also, it doesn't matter if she has a bf, because you can still get her #. Having a bf or gf doesn't mean that that is the person that they are calling ALL the time, they will probably need someone else to talk to. Good Luck tomorrow, make yourself a promise that you'll get that # tomorow! 8) 8) 8)

Hello Dead Eyes! I must say that you sound EXACTLY like me with a girl I liked. If you have time, take a look at my old posts about her and you'll see what i'm talking about! Anyways, with that said, I can only offer you some advice! On Monday, make sure you TRY your BEST to get her number!!!! You seem to be in the EXACT situation I am in with the girl I like. Oh and Dead Eyes, please cheeck you PM!

Hey there! I'm exactly like this. If i'm with friends and they say to watch a scary movie, I will usually back out as well. However, if i was with a lady that then I would have no problem watching it. My best advice is to fall asleep half-way through the movie or something! Good Luck!