mr sad

thanks heaps betty uve totally got to the point of my thread. yes, i am naturally a pessimistic type of person "expect the worst, it can only get better" , etc but i have made my choice, it is time to really let her know how i feel. i have felt this way about her since December 2003 and havent had the balls to let her know but u mentioned talking , making her laugh, etc. this is great and the reason why i started this thread, but im looking for other ways, better ways, not to subtle ways as i have been using in the past. also if u know anything about how i could tell if she likes me back at all. hints, etc. i would greatly appreciate it. plz keep posting betty, ur advice is much appreciated

you dont get it. i am friends with her, i talk to her. we are good friends, ive known her for a good 3yrs. the thing is that im worried i may ruin a friendship if i let her know that i want to be more then friends. i did nothing when i was younger. was shy, depressed, had few friends, anit-social and so i wasnt really thinking about dating and stuff when i was younger. i have talked to her we are really good friends, its not like some stupid little kids crush where ur scared to talk to the person its not hard talking to her, but it is hard letting her know how i feel about her

its not that easy. we dont get to choose our lunch breaks. we cant just go off when we feel like it. im looking for conversational tips on how i can show her that i like her so that i just dont have to be out with it. im sure she would enjoy the attention but im not sure how to go about it. many thanks

if only it were that simple. the thing is that she is at work on weekdays when im not, it wouldnt be possible to just "run into her" down the street. the idea is good but for my situation its just not possible. the only time i see her is on weekends when we are both at work, but we rarely get to talk as there is much work to be done on the weekend. im looking for just little things to show her that i care for her when i see her. im not really sure what to do.

i am friends with her. but the thing is that if i tell her how i feel about her she may not be my friend anymore, this could ruin our friendship i dont know if she likes me back, thats why i named the post as i did its ok, any help is better then being ignored. im trying to have fun but its just not happening

well the best thing has just gone out the door. i try not to get worked up about this but i cant, i dont think there is a way of me finding out without the person i ask telling her that i inquired about it. im not big on taking chances cos luck is never on my side i think this could be one of those situations where i have to do it all and no one can help me. im hoping its not. i get the feeling that she is flirting with me, so that kinda makes me think that it could be me. but then theres heaps of other ppls out there that it could be aswell. what sort of things should i look for to tell if i could be me? plz help whitefang, u seem to be the only person with deep thought out opinions and advice. many thanks for the advice so far

things have taken a great turn for the better / worse. im not exactly sure. i was just talking to this dude from work. he has told me that the girl i am in love with is "infatuated" with someone. he refused to say as he would be violating trust. i dont know if it is me or if it is someone else where do i go from here? i dont know what to think. please help me all.

thanks for the advice, but if u read the earlier posts u would understand that this girl is a close friend and i work with her. i would ask her out but should she say no then i would RUIN a great friendship and create a lot of akwardness between us. but thatnk any way

thanks for the advice dizzymeg but im not just giving up like that. ive loved her since around december 2003. we got close around new yrs eve - march then i saw her doing all the same things she was doing with me with another guy didnt take it too well, became secluded, withdrawn, etc then about may i became involved with another girl. then this same girl kinda started coming onto me again (i was involved with another girl so i wouldnt dare be with both of them) 2 weeks later she went away to camp in america. i still thought about her a lot tho. then the other girl broke my heart and i was even more hurt. i tried to stay friends with her but she didnt want to know me and now im back to square one. still have feelings for her etc. the thing is that this is the 2nd time that all of this has happened. i love her so much but i dont know how to go about it. i couldnt just come out of the blue and tell her how i felt (unless i was drunk. considering it tho) shes a close friend and i dont want to lose a great friendship over this. and no im not afraid to talk to her and im not afraid to just start talking to her about anything. my previous sad post was brought on by a few things tho. i was the designated driver on sat night and she was drunk. she said the sweetest things and hugged more then i had ever been in my whole life ... BUT. the sad post was brought on because she started to apologise for being how she was. i kept telling her that it was ok and that i understood and all but kept apologising for it all. am i just have to "take the bull by the horns" and come out and tell her how i feel about her? i work with her so i see her on weekends, this may create akwardness or ruin the friendship what should i do? (we arent close enough to just go see a movie together, etc)

was just talking to her on msn .... there is no chance. she is so out of my league. shes smart, funny, pretty, beautiful and ever so sweet. and im dumb, boring, ugly and annoying. its not going to happen. all hope is lost and all efforts to be abandoned. im going to stop burdening u all by asking u all for help. you can all keep posting on here but i wont be replying. you may find me in the "suicide" section of the forum where this boring loser belongs. goodbye all.

ok first of all i dont know her friends all that well to tell them that i like her. i would wave or say hi to her friends, but i would sooner spill all feelings etc in this site then i would to her friends. i think asking her to go somewhere with me would be a bit too forward. we arent close enough to do that kind of stuff. we do do a lot of gazing at eachothers eyes tho, so i spose thats a decent start. there is playful touching. and when we're at the pub and we're both going to the same place (eg bar) she would grab my hand and go there etc. but i have seen her do that with other girls and a few other guys im assuming that shes just a touchy person. no im not a perverted type of person so u dont have to worry about that, she also has my whole attention so im assuming that is all good. well im worried that i will come on too strong. she is really pretty and so sweet, i dont want to ruin our friendship. i havent exactly had any success with girls. the last girl i was involved with still isnt talking to me. and that ended on may 17th .... its now the 24th august. i really dont want to lose this girls friendship. i could tell her anything ... except this. i really dont know what to do. im a really boring person sober, things are different when im drunk tho. much better. do u take what drunk ppl say as truth? there have been things i have disregarded as drunk nonsense that have come from her. i really dont know what to do. the reason i took facksfunnys comment to heart is because this isnt a game, there are feelings that can be hurt and a good friendship that can be lost over this. (sigh) please help me

we'll ill share with ya what i have so far since ur in the same situation good eye contact, when ya make eye contact smile, etc. match their behaviour. if theyre beening touchy, do the same. if they start to talk louder do the same. this will make her feel more confortable around you. theyre the only two main things i can think of at the moment. does anyone else have anything to add? many thanks

i dont get it. a girl who has sex a lot gets called a sl/t yet a guy who does the same thing gets names like "stud"? plz explain

i dont need anger management. i just need useful advice, not the stupid condescending crap that ur posting on this site so does anyone else have any useful information? thank you

yea, real funny buddy. its like something that u come standard with until you find a way to deal with it. this has nothing to do with lonliness. people are shy because they are scared that people will laugh at them, etc its something that u just cant change over night.

its a comfort zone. people are shy because they are afraid! there is no "need" for a feeling of shyness, we dont choose to feel this way. its like firmware that is programed into us until we break free of it. no one "wants" to feel shy. if only people could give better advice.

no offence facksfunny but u have no idea what u are talking about. not once have i mentioned that i "keep staring at her with this look on my face or with this smile " not once has "class" been mentioned. we dont go to school, we've finished school. this isnt some insignificant little high school crush. this is no joke, this is for real i truly have deep feelings for this girl and ur making a joke out of it. this is serious, dont make stupid jokes out of it. the people on this forum post stuff because they are seeking help, not a cheap laugh. grow up kid. does anyone out there have any real advice that can be taken seriously?

ok. well its not like i dont really know her cos ive known her for about 3rs now, we work at the same place so i see her on weekends. im not shy to talk to her cos she is a good friend. i know some of her friends, if i saw them id say hi but i dont know them well enough to just start conversing with them about general stuff. i didnt think at all to try to get to know her friends, thats good. thanks dude. are there any other ideas anyone has to help us out?

someone said another post that you look at the person and smile then keep smiling until after you have looked away ... this is good. does anyone else have anything else like that?

would like to know how i go about letting a girl know that i like her without it being too obvious that i have feeling for her. any help at all would be much appreciated. thank you

no i meant tony robbins. hes a motivational speaker who used to be a fat loser geek kinda person then decided that was not the type of person he wanted to be. so he changed his life to how he wanted to be day by day. hes on infomercials at 3 in the morning. he was the dude in the elevator with Jack Black in Shallow Hal. no i dont mean Gauchori. its straight from Tony himself

as tony robbins says: if you dont ask, the answer is always no

svenman is right dude. u gotta do something independent. doing something u enjoy will make u happy, if its something like working out then it will make u happy and make u feel better about urself (cos i was the same, mr hermit turns gym man) who would u rather talk to. a person who is outgoing and happy with themselves or a quiet little goth with no interest in life? (that was me by the way) u have nothing to worry about. u arent a loser, ur 16 ffs! thats like heaps young u have years ahead of u. im almost 20 and i only ever held a girls hand for the first time last yr, never had a relationship and never been kissed. stop being a whiny little b//ch and do something about it. dont worry about whether other people are getting more then u. make it happen MAKE YOURSELF

well i saw a video once about workplace relations and it said that something like 85% of all communication between people is non-verbal (im not sure of the exact figure, but its really high tho) so just make sure that when ur talking to her u dont send her 'no signals' like crossing your arms and not making eye contact and stuff like that. it can be really distructive in this kinda situation.

well for those who wanted background of where i stuffed up here tis. her and i kinda almost got together on new years eve. but i was way to drunk to notice anything out of the ordinary. then the next day a friend of mine was like 'dude she was all over ya, like full on' then there was a lot of msging (i chose not to read into msgs as theyre easy to misinterpret) then at another party it almost happened again. i know where im going wrong, its not a quick fix. thats not the issue at the moment. well i havent noticed her calling any other guys pet names as such. but we get along good. we're going to get drunk together on saturday night (today is wednesday) and she lives close by so we're sharing a cab on the way home. i would just like the sociologist in all of yas to help me out, ... please is there any particular signs or things that i should look for, etc? (dont say pick up lines cos theyre for sleazy losers looking for a 1 nighter)