mr sad

yea, i also think time apart could be a good thing. i know what your saying but i cant help feel as tho i have damaged the friendship because i feel as tho ive lost a best friend. i doubt it was this thread where the two stayed best of friends, ive only lost friends over situations like this. you say thats it would be this girl's loss if friendship is lost over this. well to be honest i have as much even more to lose then her. i only have 4 really close friends (she is one of them) and i doubt she would be deeply troubled by the loss of a "friend". if she doesnt respond then i spose ill just have to hit the piss and try to forget about it for a bit (im fine with booze, im not an alco, etc) thanks again betty, your advice is deeply appreciated. many thanks - mr sad

thanks heaps for your insight betty, its always appreciated. i am trying to keep the normality which we had before i damaged the friendship. but its not easy. trying to be a friend to someone who to me is more then a friend. but the thing is that there were a few days when she seemed to not want to talk to anyone, i asked her how she was and as anyone would she said she was fine. i know she wasnt. now only recently she seems to be back to her old self, but. she seems to be her old self when shes around anyone but me. its akward, i feel as though im being shunned. i went to talk to her and we talked for a bit. but i would have to start the conversation, she didnt seem overly interested in talking to me. shes leaving for xmas and new yrs, do you think no contact in this time period would be a good thing? i know it would help me get over it a bit, but do you think no contact would only destroy the friendship? she is the great person that she sounded to be, im just not a good friend, i shouldnt have let this happen. there is only myself to blame. this has happened before with another girl and i have lost a good friend over it. the last time i talked to this other girl was the 27th may, to this day she still wont even acknowledge me with a wave or a simple hello.

well i thought it would have been the end ... but no its not. i still want to be her friend but over the last week we have seen eachother a few times and havent really talked. this is not good at all. we've had the chance to talk but i think ive ruined our friendship as i predicted. she thinks im pissed off at her, when im pre-occupied with other things and then when i can talk she doesnt want to talk to me. i tell her that im not pissed off at her and i dont think that cuts it, i dont know what to do. what can i do to stay friends with her?

dont worry about me man, i had it coming. i shouldnt have fallen for her ...again. ill be ok, just need my thinking time and eventually ill get back to some level of happiness where i might think about trying to meet new ppl. what can say tbbearcat5... well ill thank you for a start. thanks but yea, im glad to hear about your awesome news. a fresh start is always good. i bid you good luck with your lady friend and all the happiness you deserve. go for it man, be happy -mr sad

well yea, over the last few days my questions and confusion has been cleared up. and with that my reason for creating this thread and asking for help is over. so i wont be asking for help with my problem as i dont need help on hinting to this girl that i like her anymore. thanks everyone for the help as i wouldnt have come to any outcome (good or bad) without you all. -mr sad

thanks for that, thanks a bunch. you could have been a little more subtler about it some people just arent meant to be together. obviously that is this case in my situation. why should i change who i am? thats all i have, thats what makes me, me. im unique and if i make these changes to my personality i wouldnt be me, i would simply be another follower among the crowds of teenagers. "think for yourself, question authority" - bill hicks you dont just go "looking for a girlfriend", i see that as shallows and putting a girl on a pedistal. to me doing that would be just looking for a girl who is attractive and popular. this girl is one of a kind. she made me feel special, she made me happy to be me, she treated me in a way that no one else did. if thats not love then i dont know what is. a broken heart doesnt mend over night you know. it takes time ... and in that time i do my self evaluation. why do i hate myself? (at the moment). REJECTION, its one of the worst feelings imaginable. i believe i am worthless because im not good enough to be more then a friend to this girl. she sees me as a meager friend. i dont want pity, i dont want her to feel sad for me. and i dont want her to take her clothes off and have sex with me, i would think less of her if she did want to do that with a meager friend. i have values, they are in tact. if my understanding of love is immature then fill me in with your view of it. love is monogomy, understanding, trust and a mutual feeling of happiness between two people. i know i lack self confidence, wouldnt your self confidence be shot if you had just been rejected by a girl you care for deeply? i am open to change, as you should be also. from reading this i can tell you where you NEED to change. UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION! two things that a human has, and honestly i believe you have neither of them. i see that you're new to this forum. when i came to this forum i was the same, i would tell someone what they needed to do when it was me who needed the change. i wish you good luck in your self evaluation. compassion isnt something that comes to you overnight - mr sad

i doubt she will change her mind later down the track. her and i were close back in jan - feb. and how did i get over it? the first 2months was beating myself up and then next month was in falling for another girl who ended up doing the same thing. i would be a total fool to want to be with her now, shes broken my heart not once but twice now. i would have learnt nothing if i was to go back to her a third time. its time to give up, i doubt she will know how good she had it cos she didnt even notice me. but yes enough is enough, i spose ill just beat myself up for a few months then find someone new to break my heart.. that seems to be the pattern of my life, why break it now? i thought she was the closest girl to perfect that i know. but as a wise friend of mine once said. "how can someone be so perfect if they can break your heart in seconds" - mr sad

well i had that talk with this girl ... not good. she is not interested in anything more then friendship. i made a total ashole out of myself ... again. i thought it was too good to be true ... and it was. she calls me names like "hun, hunny, sweetheart, sugar, etc" and all corny sh/t like that. if thats not flirting then i dont know what is?? and what makes it even more degrading for me is that she didnt even know she was doing it ... i just hope that we can stay friends, the last girl i had a similar talk to still isnt talking to me (6months and 13days since shes said hello or even looked in my direction) as ive said once and will say again. "falling in love is like building yourself up for a fall" i used to feel happy to wake up in the morning, and that is no longer the case. ill stop posting with my situation as it is closed and no longer relevant. but i will continue to help ya in this thread tbbearcat5 if you wish. thanks for all help. it is appreciated. tbbearcat5 and bettyboop401 i dont know either of you personally, but i thank you both for all advice and support. you're both wonderful people and i am eternally grateful. i would be a much happier person if i had friends like you two. - mr sad

wow. i didnt even think of that. it could be possible that she thinks that, im hoping its not because ive told her many many times that i could NEVER get mad at her no matter what the circumstance. so i gather from what your saying i have to make all moves, etc at this current point in time? good luck with you lady friend tbbearcat5. hope all goes well for ya. thanks again people

she doesnt seem real interested at all. many chances on msn and she doesnt try to talk to me at all.

yea, i cant take this anymore. its getting too much for me. the other night i refused to tell her what was wrong, i get the feeling from this that she thinks that i dont trust her. so ive decided to send her an email telling her that something is wrong and its big and possibly destructive and if she wants to know then we'll talk about it. you said in your last post betty for some reason when we talk on msn i some of the times do most of the talking. i try not to talk too much and listen to what she has to say but she seems to just want to listen and not talk so much. is this a good sign? i feel as tho im telling her everything and shes holding out on me. hello there tbbearcat5 good luck with ur lady friend. hope all goes well and you get to know this girl. if you need help at all PM me or ask betty, betty seems to have an awesome answer for everything. keep up the good work betty.

yea its eating me big time. i dont think i can take much more of this. how should i go about telling her. the most obvious would be msn msger. if i use msn to tell her, how do u think i should go about it? just come out with it? wait for her to ask whats eating me? im open to anything at the moment. yea, things have changed. i think shes losing interest (if any) in me. we havent talked much in the last few days, when we have its been short and little has been said. all help appreciated.

quick update. not the greatest weekend. saw her for a bit, we didnt talk a great deal. she knows that something was eating at me, i wouldnt tell her what though. things between us are really akward at the moment. she knows theres something wrong... should i tell her. i dont know what i should do .. what do u think i should do?

what did he say again when your friend asked if he like you? he would have said no if he didnt like you. even ive used the "i cant tell you that" line. when i said it, it meant "im totally in love with her but i want to talk about it to her and her alone" from my point of view its not a no. looking for ways to hint that you like him? link removed i asked the exact same thing

a thought occurs! instead of just adding her, find a friend (possibly the same friend as before) and when they are talking to this girl get your friend to add you to the conversation. if all goes well and she enjoys talking to you she may even ask you to add her, if she doesnt then dont take it to heart and try again later. this would avert all confusion and you wouldnt scare her

nice girls dont finish last ... they have the last laugh. um hello JoyieGracie! i gather from what you have posted you are a very up front person, thats awesome. its a sign of confidence, self respect and individualism. youre one of a kind, dont conform to what a guy wants you to be. if you dont like people touching ur face then so be it, if he cant dig it then hes obviously not good enough for you. nice girls deserve to be nice with nice guys, just be yourself and you will find your nice guy. at 17 theres no rush, you have your whole life ahead of you. mr sad

well she seems to be staring back, and its not like she shuns me or seems uncomfortable as far as ive noticed .. so thats always good right? but yea not much of an update except that all is well. is there anything i can try to help u with betty? if there is then dont hesitate to ask mr sad

asking someone out is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. it takes more courage then a lot of us guys have. is he a shy, quiet kinda dude? that could be part of why he wont

well the msg said i hate working but yea i wondered if that does mean that shes thinking about me. so of course i sent her back a reply trying to cheer her up. i talked to her later that night on the net, she seemed pretty happy so i think that was all good. but yea with the staring thing. its not that it doesnt work its more that i think she could be doing the same thing to me. so we just look at each other, there was no talking or 'whats' happening. do u think this is a better outcome then if she did say 'what' ? many thanks again betty

well i saw her at work yesterday for about 5mins, we seemed to just stare at each other for like half a minute. i doubt she will respond to the staring thing with a 'what' as you anticipated betty. and only today she just sent me a msg out of the blue. that is a good sign right? so yea, not a great deal happened this weekend so this is all the update that i can give.

well ur totally right andy, im doing all i can. but the thing is that i dont get to see her as often as i would like so updates on whats going on dont come all that often. but yea today is tuesday and im likely to see her on friday and saturday so there will be some kind of update around then... anything before then would be if something was to happen over msn messenger. many thanks once again

there is no need to apologise betty. uve done more to help me in the last few days then anyone has in years. i should be the one apologising for asking for so much help. but all help is appreciated, i cant thank you enough. u r making a difference on this forum, if only there were more ppl like you.

well i dont think i want to be just out with it straight away. as in well into flirting, not the dating part as of yet

i noticed that you mentioned that this will 'get things ticking' im not one to plan ahead (i know its not good to and all) but if this does have a positive effect on things what other things would i do next? could this one thing u advised be enough or do u think other types of hints will be needed? (im open to anything) i will keep you posted if you wish. cant thank you enough betty

thanks heaps again betty, ur advice is much appreciated before i decided against the staring thing before cos a previous post from someone reckoned that she would think im a psycho or something, but i spose i can only try it. ill let ya know how i go. thank you once again. : )