ntAgainPetunia

Day 34 NC (so far). Most of this week has been good, was even overall happy for a couple of days. Yesterday was rough though. Possibly because I only got 4 hours of sleep. I was SO tempted to forward some things on to my ex (articles, menu for new restaurant, etc.) Thankfully, I was able to resist that temptation. Today is shaping up fine, the best part: ten+ hours of sleep! Don't get me wrong, I still want to contact her, but nowhere near as badly. Wish me luck!

I still have all the texts from my last two relationships and emails from the last three tagged by name. Not sure why really. I got a new phone shortly after my most recent breakup so I don't have any texts or pictures of my ex handy. If I want to see them I have to charge up my old phone. Guess I'll do that at some point, more mourning and such. Oh, not that it's helping me move on at all, but I had suspected that my ex had been spending her few kid-less days with her best friend rather than possible bf. Since I unblocked her, it looks like I am correct. Maybe someday I'll remember that the stove is hot

I know of at least four couples that split up and got back together. I don't know who initiated the breakups or how long they were, but here goes: 1) An engineer I work with casually mentioned in a meeting that it was his second anniversary. I was confused, as we both have 19 year olds in college. He must have sensed my confusion, because he then told me that he and his wife were divorced for five years, and this was the anniversary of the second marriage. 2) My second wife's mom, M, had been dating a guy E for a while but they split up for some reason. M went into a rebound and had a child (my ex) who she then put up for adoption, as the guy wasn't in the picture and M wasn't ready to raise a child alone. Within two years, M and E got back together, had two more children and have been married for about 40 years! (My ex found M as an adult and re-established relations with her, and E treats her like she's his own daughter) 3) My current ex's best friend H and her husband L split up for a while about 10 years ago. L went and had a child with another woman, woman turned out to be unstable, and at some point H and L got back together and have been married since (maybe 8 years?). L has his daughter one month a year (she's 2000 miles away) and H treats her as her own. 4) My own ex, S was with her bf N off and on through their 20s and 30s. I think they broke up twice, not sure for how long. They ended up being married for 7 years and had two kids, which I think was the final nail in their coffin. It's these stories, especially the one with S, that give me some small hope that we will get back together. Either way, I'll work on making myself the best me I can be and we'll see where that goes.

beanpot, it wasn't really too bad. I used the FB feature where you can see the interactions between people and worked my way backward. I got to about our first anniversary, stopped, read a book and fell asleep. I felt sad and wistful, tears welled up a bit, but I didn't actually cry. Day 30 today! Feeling ok, I think I'll post some reconciliation stories in the "Getting back together really does happen" later. I have 3 or 4 at least.

I'm not sure whether to count this as day 29 or day 1... ex ran a half-marathon today (very proud of her btw) and some of her friends posted pictures of her on FB. I had her blocked, but because they were friends that posted I was able to see them. I felt... sad, melancholy, wistful, but in a manageable amount. I actually 'liked' the pictures and decided to unblock ex from FB. Still not friends with her there, but now I can see what she was up to with friends. My therapist recommended that I take a day to just mourn the relationship so that's what I'm doing now. I'm going through all of our pictures/history and looking back at how awesome we were together. I'm sad now, but I'm supposed to be. Still NC on her end, so I guess I'll keep the counter at 29 for now.

Congratulations beanpot on signing up for a marathon! I got into running after splitting up with my 2nd wife, it's a great way to get the stress out and meet people! I won't kid you though, the marathon will be tough! Training will be like a second job for you, and once you start your really long Saturday runs, that day will be shot. I'd recommend training with other people if you can. I've trained for (and run) three so far, the last two by myself. When I was running two to three hours by myself, I inevitably had one or two miles where ex-wife and the guy she left me for get into my thoughts, long after we had split. I called it my "two mile hate" Obligatory day 27 NC, tired (still sleeping poorly 2 1/2 months post-BU) but otherwise doing well.

Lindorie, I wish I could say that it gets steadily easier, but it doesn't. You'll have some good days followed by some rough ones, but the general trend will be upwards. Just knowing this helps with those bad days. Oh, and day 24 for me, not too bad of a day. Ex gf's son's birthday today (7). Wish I could wish him a happy birthday myself, but I'm not going there.

Beanpot, I understand the feeling. I know that if I hadn't blocked my ex, I'd be sneaking peeks at what she is doing on FB. As it is, I didn't block a couple of her friends, so I kind of know when the ex is going out with her best friend. Don't know if her new bf (if that's even what he is yet) is with them, but I suspect not. Day 23 for me. My goal is to make it to the end of the month and see how I'm doing then.

Day 17: didn't sleep well, but AFAIK none of the dreams were about ex, so that's good. Possibly why I'm not feeling too bad this morning.

Day 16 NC (after 7 weeks LC) and I'm feeling worse. I know it'll get better with time, but I've never been the patient type. Sigh...