jeeper

lol, yea i guess i knew it was a good thing just needed to make sure. im pretty sure she wants space, she went to a party today and never really asked if i wanted to go. i think she wants to be able to hang out with her friends and not have to worry about a boy friend. if that makes sense to anyone...

well she stopped by my house and we talked a bit, not about relationship stuff though. i told her to call me when she got home and she said i should call her. then we sorta went back and forth on me calling her which i guess i dont do enough...so she wants me to call her more, that must be a good sign right...?

Alright, i guess i will try to sort of try to take bits and pieces from what each person said. I really dont want to pressure her at all or give her an ultimatum, me or nothing. i am definitely willing give her time. were seniors in high school so i know a big part of her decision is because of college although we would prob be 5 min away from each other...or at most an hour. i'll try to contact her a little less. she does call me, most days, unless she tells me to call her the night before or something. oh and she was in a long relationship that ended about 6 months ago(they went out almost 2 years) so i guess another thing could be fear of getting into something like that again? Brett

There is a girl, im in love with her. ive known her about 3 years and dated her about 3 years ago. we only dated for a month and i broke it off. now were "dating" again but to me it feels more like friends with benefits...she says she likes me but doesnt want a relationship, and i do and she knows this. we have talked about a relationship but it always turns out sort of ugly. we talk usually every day on the phone sometimes a few different times but not for very long half hour usually. and we text throughout the day. however sometimes i feel that she doesnt want to see me or hang out with me, usually i only get to see her on weekends and maybe occasionally during the week if i stop by her house or she stops by mine. lately ive been feeling like its more of a friends with benefits type thing...i havent been in a relationship like this before. the others ive had were more official as being together right away. so basically im not really sure what to think of it and if it is just a fwb thing im not ok with that at all. im wondering how other girls would react if they were told this by a guy(that loved them)? i'll answer any questions if ive been unclear, i could really use everyones help. our "relationship" has been going on a little over a month but we have been pretty good friends for a while. Brett

I take it by her first you mean sex...if thats the case i would not be her first...obviously the same goes for her first boyfriend too.

Yea i understand that, i have to respect her decision. I guess i just want to see what happens in the next few months and see if she changes her mind or is still set on being single when we leave.

haha, well the Greeks seemed to know what they are talking about

Ah yes, i go to a private school and one of my classes was basically about love. we talked about Philia and Eros...im definitely thinking more along the lines of Eros when i asked the original question.

I see what everyone is saying about the younger generation(myself included). I know a lot of people that say they love someone else but i always wonder. I care a lot about my friends so do i love them? i sort of see it as being a different sort of love i guess...I learned that love is caring about someone elses problems and everything going on in their life as much as I care about what is happening in my life, that leaves it open to interpretation. Brett

Well alright then, thanks darkblue.

so would more meaning come from saying "I am in love with you" rather than "I love you"

Better to be in love with someone or to love someone? Brett

Well there was another guy but she decided that there was nothing between them. So Its only me now...

Well we still have about 7 months to be together before we would be leaving. I actually had forgotten about another school so its possible i might be in San Fran going to Culinary school while she is at Santa Clara. She has already talked a little about what its gonna be like when we have to leave and it sorta sounded like she wanted to be single for college...but i guess we'll see how it goes for now and deal with that when it comes up. And those of you who offered to talk to me through PM or IM thanks alot, I'll be in touch sooner or later. Brett

well, ive cared about her and and liked her for almost 3 years. but our relationship hasnt been more than a friendship type since about 3 years ago. i already care about her so much and in the next 6 months i know my feelings are only going to grow

I would like to know what everyone thinks of keeping a relationship going through college? I would be going to school one of two places both about 3 hours away from her and would probably see her once a week. Anyone have personal experience with this kind of relationship and college? Brett

This might end up being kind of long but ill try to give just the highlights. First off im a senior in high school. I dated this girl rachael freshman year for only about a month. It started off really well but i started to be sort of a * * * * and then i left home for about a week or two and broke up with her. basically since then i have regretted my decision. after that she starting dating a guy and they went out for about a year and 10 months and i was pretty jealous the whole time. we talked a little over that time and we became close, close enough her bf didnt want her to hang out with me. i finally decided to tell her how i felt about her and that i still liked her and cared alot about her. i did that over the past summer and basically she said she felt the same about me and has always had a thing for me. shortly after this she broke up with her boyfriend, and i felt like it was my fault however she insited it was not. so within the past month or so i started to like her more but a new girl came along. a friend of mine had a bit too much influence on me and i ended up choosing the second girl, not rachael. before anything happened between me and her(not even kissing) i realized i screwed up pretty bad. I explained this to rachael and she wasnt too happy. she said she couldnt trust me at the moment and i would have to earn it back. during that time there was another guy she was interested in along with me. nothing ended up happening between them. so now its me and her, anyone who sees us would say we are together, always holding each others hand or arms around each other. at a party on new years she fell asleep in my arms. we hang out all the time and its going well. hoever she says she doesnt want a relationship because she doesnt want to get hurt, she is scared of what will happen next year when we leave for college. i dont know what to do really...we do all the stuff a couple would, kissing, making out, going to movies, dinner, partys, each others houses, but we arent together...basiccally im just wondering if anyone has any comments on how she might feel. and what i should do. as of now ive decided to wait and see what happens for us. sorry that was so long i just needed to say it all Brett

hey man, anywhere that you think is fun....go play mini golf a lot of people like to do that. Since your close to the beach go there and take a walk then go get food somewhere not fastfood lol, but somewhere where you can sit down and have a chance to chat a little bit. HTH. Brett