samdog31

I would sit down and write her a letter. This way she can read it on her time, and without interruption. It gives her something tangible to prove your love and something she read over and over again. If she wants to take you back she will do it in her time. At least by writing her you have put your feelings out there and made them known. And if she chooses to act on them she will do so.

I have moved out from our home because I feel I am being ignored and neglected. He has said he wishes to 'Date" me and work on the relationship. I was thinking of little baby steps ie coming over once a month and staying over night etc. And thought the request was very innocent. But below is our email exchange between each other last week. Any insight would be helpful. I have basically come to the conclusion that I will sit back and do nothing, as I have said all I can say. And I am just making it worse. but here is the conversation that took place. And I am very confused: me sure what time I will be done at my Grandparents. but can I come and stay over Friday night? David don't know what I'll be doing. me I will just call when I have left White Rock and see if you are home. If you are not then I will just go back to the hotel. David: Vikki. What hotel? Anyway I really think it would be best if we did that some other night. I know you're going through a lot now with your Grandfather, your work and all, and I'm trying not to hurt your feelings but I think it would be best if we waited awhile. I really don't feel very comfortable doing that right now. I'll try to explain later when I have more time and I have things straight. Sam will be ready to go Saturday morning. Sorry. Me have to remember that this place I live in is far from livable and I took it on a strictly temporary basis as I had no choice in the matter. I have a King George Hooker living next door and the day I moved in someone down stairs was broken into had alcohol poured on him and was set on fire. I want to be Home where I live where I have been for the past 9 yrs of our lives. But I want to be treated better then the dog. and I don't want to get the leftovers. I am done for now. I will call you tonight after 9pm. David: I don't like you living there either. I think it would be best if I sign over the house to you and I'll go find somewhere else to live. Give me a couple of months (maybe three because I'm going to be away a lot) to find a place and I'll give you the condo. You'll probably have to work out something with the bank because you may not qualify to take over the mortgage. You can sell it later if you want and keep the money. If you sell it that will be the 30k half you wanted. Up to you. Me: So your dumping me?....Thanks David not really true and I wouldn't put it that way if I were. What I need is time to myself. I don't know how long that will be. I didn't want to get into this today. I wanted to wait until things in your work and family life settled down. I guess it doesn't matter what I say from now on anyway, because it will just be wrong. me: thats not true, but I am coming over tonight after I am done this meeting and we are going to have a talk. maybe I am just misinterpreting what you are saying and if we talk in person, we can set down some ground rules and make some goals etc. I should be done by 8 o'clock and I will have my emotions in check. But I really need you to be there when I arrive. We need to face this head on if we are going to tackle any issues Me We can talk on Saturday then. But when you talk about mortgage payouts and signing over these type of things mean you want a divorce. So please think about that. It is hard for me not to think about us. I am also setting up marriage counselling for us. David: that's something else that eats at me too but we'll talk about it later. Me just need some kind of time line, so there is some kind of end in sight to this conflict. I need to see that we are moving forward. I don't want to be in purgatory forever. I don't want to back you into a corner, because I know what the results of that would be. But we do need to get some of this out of the way if we want to save us. I am in the middle of setting up marriage counselling for us. So if you want to go as an idividual you can do that too. But maybe once a month with some assistance might help. You don't have to pay for it, i will. And I will give you time. But I don't want you signing anything over to me. Cause that means the end. When I refer to our home, I don't mean our physical home, I mean "us". I know that this is difficult for you too. But I just need to see that we are moving forward and working towards some solutions. When you said give me 3 months to find a place to live, I figured by that time we would be well on our way to recovery and not making further plans for separation. I think we should leave the living situation the way it is right now. I can stick it out, But I need to you to acknowledge the fact that you will go to counselling with me and get some of this worked out. I am doing everything you have asked of me by getting up at 5 am and going to the pool on a daily basis, losing weight and eating better. I am taking the time to go out and do activities. So I am not sure what else I can do. I suspect nothing, I just have to leave it up to you. I can't make you do anything, and I can't make you love me. I am sorry for pushing, but I wanted to start making a transition even if it was just Baby steps. Sorry, Vikki P.S. If you are going to respond to this please do so through my hotmail, so I can check it later. I love you very much and and am trying the very best with what I have got.