boltnrun

Thank you! It's funny, but I think the Ativan is helping. I'm not in a constant state of "fight or flight" like I've been for the past few months. That was exhausting and discouraging. I really hope the antidepressant turns out to help and I don't have the same reaction I had to the other one. I'm thinking I might ask my cousin if she and her husband and son would be interested in doing a house/apartment share with me. She has medical conditions and therefore is being very, very careful. More so than I feel my brother is. He isn't thoughtless or clueless but he seems to be quite a bit less stringent than I am regarding safety precautions. I will think about it for a few days and then maybe ask her. And I'll make it very clear that they should feel free to say "no" if they are not comfortable with the idea. I do know they struggle financially and splitting the rent with me could possibly make things a bit easier for them. And I love them, very much.

Thanks! I keep hoping, hoping that somehow we can all pull together and do what we need to do to get this pandemic under control. I saw a few minutes of a You Tube video filmed at my former city (a very, very popular tourist destination). People were absolutely crammed onto the sidewalk, many without masks, zero social distancing. And people brought their kids! I am so glad I moved away from there. The poor people who have to work serving all these tourists are at such risk every time they go to work. I sincerely hope things don't continue on the really bad trend they are currently on. Of course I stopped watching the video because I didn't want to upset myself. Here's hoping things can get better...

Will they be providing regular testing? I wonder if they do and he tests negative if they'll allow him to have leaves. How long is the training?

Is he being sent for training? Is it somewhere you can visit or will he be allowed leaves?

It's not actually the company's page, it's one that employees have set up. I am glad these pages exist because people feel more free to express themselves. The company actually disciplines people if they post something they say is against policy even if it's on their own personal social media page. Of course, nothing confidential is allowed and we can't post photos that show processes or equipment. But these other pages are where people kind of let loose. A lot of responses told this man to basically "suck it up" but really, if it was that easy I (and many others) would be at work like usual. I was actually super productive today! I cleaned and cleaned! The Ativan is allowing me to be calm enough to get through my chores. I've even cooked! I haven't felt like cooking for weeks. All that's left is vacuuming and a few more dishes. And tomorrow I will be spraying my mattress, boxspring, carpet and couch to try to get rid of the bed bugs. It's a natural-based bug killer so it will be safe for my kitty. Here's hoping it will at least kill most of them.

Someone posted on one of the Facebook pages for people who work for the company I work for. He was asking if anyone else was struggling with anxiety and depression related to work. He's still working but having a very hard time. So I messaged him just letting him know that I am going through the same thing and that he should always feel comfortable asking for help and support if he needs it. So many people struggling with this...it's so hard. I mean, I'd love to be one of those people I see who are going about their lives like nothing has changed. People who say "well, I'm not going to let it stop me from living my life". I so envy those people! I would love to feel comfortable going to restaurants (outdoor dining, of course) and the beach and amusement places but I'm not comfortable. I don't even feel comfortable getting takeout! A few times I decided I would try it and then I find out places I used to frequent had to shut down because several of their employees tested positive. So I gave up and didn't even try. My kids are getting takeout and are totally fine with it but I'm just not. I should receive my new medication early next week. It's also an SSRI but the psychiatrist seems determined to have me continue on SSRI medications. Please God, please don't let it affect me the way the other medication did...the only good thing is I still have the Ativan and the doctor said if I need to I can use them both. I'm hoping to not need to.

I just noticed your signature line is from Bojack Horseman. I watched that show for the first time earlier this week with my son. That show is...something else!

I too could not imagine this lasting as long as it did. I truly believed we had many of the best medical minds in the world here and they would quickly come up with a temporary game plan to protect the population while working on a longer-term solution. I never in a million years imagined politics would be prioritized over the health of the people of this country, but here we are. I just figure it's on me to do what I think will protect myself best. And avoid as much as possible those who are NOT interested in the greater good. This has meant avoiding members of my own family as well as a handful of people I considered close friends, but that's just the way it is. I've been fortunate to have options as far as living arrangements.

I'm not going to do it. If they tell us that's what's required they will have my resignation that day. The plan seems to be for us to fly to another state, get rental cars or use ride sharing services and live in a hotel for a few weeks. I'm not OK with that, not one bit. Fortunately I have been able to save some money so I can afford to live off my savings for a few months. I'm moving in with family to save even more. Trust me, I am grateful for that.

My work is trying to send us on airplanes to other states to work. The location opening has been delayed multiple times (no surprise and no one's fault, it's the current situation) and they have about 18 of us who need somewhere to train and work. So this is their brilliant solution. Put us all at risk of contracting Covid. That's a big fat "no" for me. So, I'll be job hunting.

That's funny, Batya. It's so funny how kids just come out and say stuff. One time when my son was a toddler I had to use the restroom at a department store and since he was only about 3 years old of course I brought him into the stall with me. As you know, kids always shout things at the top of their lungs. So my son saw fit to holler "Ooooh Mommy, are you doing a poopy?? Wow, Mommy, you did a BIG poopy!!" I wanted to hide in the stall for the rest of the day My original plan today was to go at about 2:30 PM since I've driven by at that time many times and it seldom has more than one or two cars in the parking lot. So of course me being who I am, I decided for some reason to leave home just before noon. The parking lot had about 8 cars so I drove about 20 minutes away to my former city, cruised around for about 20 minutes, then drove back. Still only about 1:00 PM. I have no idea why I was so antsy to get going when I knew darned well the laundromat would be busy! I guess I just really wanted to get it done and out of the way. Lesson learned, hopefully. At least I shouldn't have to go back to the laundromat for about 2 weeks. I am now only washing towels, sheets and blankets there and everything else I wash at my son's home.

Wow, did I pick the wrong day and time to go to the laundromat. This place is packed to the brim with more people coming in every minute. I hardly had room to wipe down the table and machine and load my stuff. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I have to go back in to put my stuff in the dryer and then come remove it. What a mess...

Ha! I am 5' 2-3/4"! I am a tall one compared to you! My son sometimes teases me. He's almost 6'5". My daughter is 5'5".

I had a telehealth appointment with the psychiatrist today. He spent most of the time getting a history and also finding out my more recent experiences. I will continue to see him every 2 weeks for now. He is prescribing a very low dose of Trazedone. I know nothing about this medication, but he did tell me to stop taking it and report immediately if I have any of the bad side effects I had with the Celexa. I am not to try to power through like I did that time. I feel like I have an entire team working on me lol.

I'm so sorry... I was told my cat had kidney disease. It seems to be standard diagnosis for older cats. She didn't like the special food the vet prescribed so I just let her eat what she likes. I figured it was better she ate something rather than nothing at all. So far she has been OK although she is skinny. I hope your poor little kitty is feeling better soon and that the prognosis is good.

I had a man keep trying to approach me at the laundromat. He kept grinning at me (which is allowed, of course) but also kept coming over to where I was. I had wiped down a table and set my basket on just one side of the table. Then I left to go for a drive while my clothes dried. When I came back I saw he had moved my basket over to the edge of the table and had set his clothes down where my basket had been sitting. And there he was, standing there grinning at me. I don't know if he uses the laundromat to try to pick up women or what, but I was furious because not only did he touch something that belonged to me, but there were at least 4-5 empty tables he could have used, one of which was right next to the one I had been using! I guess he was hoping I would want to share the table with him or something. Luckily I will only have to go to the laundromat maybe twice a month to wash sheets, towels and blankets because my son is allowing me to wash my clothes at his home. I'm sorry that happened to you, Batya. I don't understand why that man thought it would be fun to harass you.

As long as we are all being safe and socially distant and wearing our masks! I trust my kids to follow protocols but not everyone is as thoughtful and careful. Hence my anxiety. Please God, please let people realize that being in a difficult place for a few more weeks can do wonders to end this crisis. And that "reopening" doesn't mean "the pandemic is over!!" and people realize it's prudent to continue safe practices.

I forgot to mention, I went to my son's home today to do laundry. They have a teeny tiny stackable washer/dryer set. The wash machine does OK but the dryer takes a LONG time to dry a load. I had a load with one bath towel, 3 hand towels, two pillow cases and a sheet set. Took so long to dry! I think I'll just wash my clothing at their home and wash sheets, towels and blankets at the laundromat. It's easy to wash them there and I don't have to worry about losing socks when they fall out of the dryer It was nice spending time with my son. I stayed 6 feet or more away from him and kept my mask on to protect him and his spouse. But we talked and it did wonders for my wellbeing to be around someone else, especially since it was my own child.

I got a call from the psychiatrist's office this morning. They had originally told me it would be a 4-6 week wait for an appointment, which would put it after my leave from work is over. However, they told me I can do a telehealth appointment tomorrow afternoon if I wanted. Of course I said yes! The sooner the better. I feel like I am maintaining well on the lorazepam (I am not on clonazepam). It's an extremely low dose and I do not take it every day. In the past 6 days I have taken 3 pills, when the instructions are one pill daily. It gives me a bit of a headache and some low grade nausea if I take it during the day so I only have been taking it at night if I need it and I don't take it at all if I don't. I can't see myself trying to coerce my doctor into giving me more of this drug when I'm not a fan of the headache and nausea and don't even take it as often as I was told I could. In other words, I am not abusing it and don't really like it enough and don't get a "high" feeling to even be tempted to abuse it. I'm calmer even on an every other day dose so I feel it has been successful. I will report back tomorrow afternoon. I have two appointments back to back, psychologist and new psychiatrist.

Yes, just because Covid is here doesn't mean every single cold, flu and allergy symptom always indicates Covid. Back in late March I had a run of the mill upper respiratory infection. I've been tested for Covid twice and both tests were negative. I hope everyone can commit to doing everything they can to protect themselves and be courteous enough to protect others by taking recommended measures.

First available psychiatrist appointment won't be for 2-4 weeks

My area is talking about going back to a stay at home order. I personally think we need it. People are acting like irresponsible teenagers by not following the mask mandate. They refuse to see the connection between wearing masks and social distancing and being able to "re-open", so here we are, with one day after another of record positive tests and deaths. And the ages are getting younger and younger due to various factors. I've driven past the marina beach several times and the sand is absolutely packed. Apparently a state government agency (not my state) is beginning an investigation of the company I work for. There have been so many cases and enough deaths that this state's leadership is finally getting concerned. Sad to say, the workers are most definitely at risk due to the environment they are required to work in. It's just not possible for the work to be done without putting them at risk. I have to go grocery shopping today and put gas in my car. I'm getting these errands done today so for the rest of the week I won't have anymore outside errands to run. I'll go to my son's tomorrow or Wednesday to do laundry (so grateful for that...) Later this week I'd like to drive somewhere that's uncrowded and go for a walk since my neighborhood has a lot of foot traffic so I don't feel as comfortable.

I will. My regular doctor was concerned that I would become addicted (dependent, habit forming, etc.) That's why he wanted me on a daily maintenance anti-depressant. But we know how that turned out...

The instructions say both daily and as needed...I am taking it as needed.

I just have the Lorazepam. Very low dose. 0.5 mg. I will be calling the psychiatrist tomorrow to see about setting up an appointment with him.