boltnrun

Stealing prescription medication is illegal.

Just because you're horny doesn't mean you're an out of control animal. You can choose to control yourself.

One way to deal with your sex drive is to masturbate before you see your girlfriend. Easy and perfectly legal.

It's a very bad idea to take prescription medication that wasn't prescribed to you. Does your mother know you're taking her medication?

It's interesting how differently people react to their upbringing. I concluded the opposite...anyone who mistreats me does NOT love me and is therefore to be avoided. I can't fathom treating my kids the way I was treated. 

I'm sure there are many men who spend a lot of money on the women they date. 

I agree with the general consensus that you two are not a good match. 

I hope you and your mom can find a way to manage this situation. IMO there's nothing worse than viewing your own home as a space of stress rather than a safe haven where you feel completely comfortable. 

Maybe she's keeping you around as a backup in case things don't go well with her ex/current.

My ex did that...contacted me every so often to maintain a connection in case he wanted company or soothing or an ego boost. 

28 minutes ago, Armyguy368 said:

I would be lying if I said no. She had asked me about axe throwing two weeks ago and we set a date and time, but it did not work. So, some say if the woman can see. you in a fun environment as a fun guy, its a step in the right direction.

So you're trying to hang out under the guise of being "friends" but you're really hoping she'll want to date you?

5 minutes ago, Shycarrot said:

I am powerless in these type of situations

Why do you believe you're "powerless"? Who told you that?

Just stop responding to his messages. If your mutual friend rudely questions you, you can tell them you're uncomfortable communicating with someone who's in a relationship. 

I prefer men who are 6' or taller and I'm just a smidge under 5'3" (and I NEVER wear heels because they hurt like hell). But my bestie, who is literally supermodel beautiful, married a man who's about 5'7". Another friend's husband is about 5'6" and he's one of the most attractive men I've ever met because of his intelligence, sense of humor and confidence. So it's very individual. 

OP, make sure you're attentive to her. Focus on pleasing her and you'll do just fine. 

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I use the desktop version on my browser on my phone . I never use a pc to access anymore and I haven’t in years .

I do too.  However after hours and on weekends I use my PC because it's easier to type and to read.  My old eyes lol!

And using company equipment for personal use while I'm being paid by the company isn't a violation of my freedom IMO.  Their equipment, their rules.  I work on government projects so I definitely understand concerns about confidentiality. Same if I worked at a doctor's office or in litigation. 

Just something to keep in mind for your future, Rainbows. Your current employer may be relaxed about it but future employers may not be.  If you're freelancing and using your own equipment that would be a different story, of course.

You're still completely ignoring all of the excellent advice you've been given.  That's not "sweet".

Alex, what do you want?  Do you genuinely want advice?  Or do you want us to coddle you and tell you you're right and your friends are awful people?

I understand why they monitor. They need to know their employees aren't secretly transferring information to anyone who shouldn't have it. And that's fine with me. I have personal devices I can use. 

My brother doesn't have a personal computer so he filled out his mortgage forms on his work laptop and then saved them to the company network drive instead of his hard drive. The company network went down for about a week, right when he was supposed to finalize his home purchase. He was practically hysterical because he couldn't access his documents. Secretly I was wondering why he did such a boneheaded thing, but of course I didn't tell him that!

If you do decide to move back, be sure to deal with whatever it was that caused you to leave first. Have a job and housing secured before you move. Reconnect with friends you have there. Have a couple months worth of money for expenses saved up.

Also remember, geography doesn't solve everything. You have to go with yourself wherever you choose to live, so if there are things you need to work on emotionally or mentally moving away won't solve them. Whatever dissatisfaction you're experiencing also may not necessarily be related to where you live. It just might seem that way. And looking to moving back to NOLA as a solution to all your problems might not be realistic. 

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend, BTW? Do you plan to leave him behind too?

16 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Yeah he never hooks into the wifi. He has 100 G of data a month on his personal plan. 

I don't either. My phone has data which I use even when in the office. And I only go to innocuous websites like Google Maps on my work laptop, even when I work from home.

Just because they might not look at browsing history every day doesn't mean it isn't recorded and periodically reviewed. This is especially true if you deal with anything considered confidential, whether it's in the private sector or public, or you work on government projects (like I do).

I don't do anything on my work computer that I wouldn't want my manager or corporate leadership to see. 

Just now, Seraphim said:

Yup! My husband works for the government and EVERYTHING is monitored. He uses his personal phone for social media. 

If you connect to the work WiFi or network, every keystroke goes from your computer to the company network (where it's recorded) and THEN to the website you're using. They have a record of everything you do on it. Both private companies and government agencies. 

A former coworker used to send sexy messages to her husband (who also worked for the company). They were so embarrassed when their messages were read by IT and the in-house IT person teased them. 

Do you use this site on your work computer?

I would strongly encourage you not to do that. Everything you do on your work computer is recorded by your company's IT department regardless of whether you delete it or not. It's not just on your computer's hard drive. Anything and everything is accessible to them.

I would recommend you use your personal cell phone (like I do). Secure and private. 

Some of the people in Supply Chain are trying to drag me into their processes. I do not work in the Supply Chain department and will not do any of their functions. They always say "we just want you to be aware of how the processes work!" which translates into them trying to get me to take over some of their work. Not going to happen UNLESS they give me a significant raise. Their manager just quit so they're scrambling but they need to address that within their own department.  

What would happen if you get to California and meet a high powered career man who meets all of your desired criteria? Do you truly feel you'd resist being attracted to him because you have this other guy back at your previous home?

If someone has to fundamentally change to be right for you, they're wrong for you. And that goes both ways. 

All those nice things you think and feel and say about her? She probably thinks and feels and says similar things about you. 

8 minutes ago, sunday_luthier said:

Noo!!  I would go with my daughters only

If you are successful in getting your deposit back may I recommend you choose a different destination? If you choose the same dates, destination and lodging she could show up and cause all sorts of drama. 

33 minutes ago, sunday_luthier said:

Or let me make a new reservation in my own name

You're still planning to take her on this vacation?

I wouldn't expect any "good will". She can use the money as ransom to try to force you into reconciling.

I would contact Air BnB and/or the property owner and explain the situation. 

Do you have to get the money back from her or from the vacation destination?

So she's not even divorced yet but she was already on a dating site? Interesting.

I'm glad she did you the courtesy of telling you. Now you can move forward.

Oh, and I recommend being proactive about dating others. Don't wait around in case she changes her mind. 

I slept better last night. Although I had another weird dream. I have some dreams that recur every so often. In this one I was driving the car I had before I bought the one I have now. I was driving up a VERY steep hill. For some reason I got out of the car and walked up some stairs, then had to retrieve my car at the top of the steep hill. I've had this dream before. Weird. Almost all of my dreams involve either leaving some place and driving or driving and arriving at some place. My family features prominently in these dreams too. 

But I'm grateful for being able to sleep. 

If she reconciles with her ex would you still want to stick around being her "friend"? Could you tolerate visiting their shared home? Or would it hurt?