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Alot of you sound like you are purposely waiting for some kind of perfect person. Or want to find someone who is a virgin or whatever. That's fine - but thats not at all the type of thing I'm talking about. Its not about finding a perfect relationship or saving my virginity because I believe its special or a gift. To me thats ridiculous. If its not to you, thats fine - its just my opinion. Many, many people I know go out on dates just for fun. Have friends they "hook-up" with, etc. None of it is about finding a perfect relationship. Some people just find each other and have a good time. I personally don't share the same values as those who want to wait for some special person. I don't care one way or the other. My problem is that I just feel cheated out of a big part of life. I've never been able to meet a person for any kind of relationship. I just want to be treated like a freaking human being. I don't know what happened, what I did that I'm so awful and different that noone would talk to me. Just going out to do something fun is not the simple thing people make it sound. How can you go out and have fun when you have nothing inside? Its painful going out and being alone. Yea, there are people that might not be with another person at that moment - but they aren't devoid of the ability to meet someone else. Even just for friends. That's the problem I have, and its extremely abnormal. Doing anything in public just reminds me of that, feeling awkward and out of place in public reminds me of. It drains away whatever courage I'd built up to even go out to begin with and drives me back inside. Alot of people say to just go out and do something I think is fun. Just go out and smile. Well you know what? It doesn't work. This despair colors everything I do. Nothing is fun to me. As for seeming desperate, etc. I don't know alot about any of that. All know is that it doesn't seem like you can be desperate snd be without hope at the same time. I honestly think I will be alone forever, so I don't think I can be desperate. This is also the type of attitude that women my age seem to have. They want the "bad boy" , they want to go out and have fun. What they want is attention. They don't want a nice guy. Whatever. Whatever it is, its certainly not me. I'm not complaining, I've given up. I'm just trying to clarify since a bunch of people keep either posting "just do it" or they keep posting about how its thier choice to be alone. I appriciate the effort, but I just don't want to see any more adivce thats is to "just do it", just have fun, just go talk to someone. Not possible to me.

Great.

which anime is that avatar from?

I thought collage just ended last week till sept.

Maybe, but at this point the fact that I never had any interaction, even just friendly, with women is a constant reaffirmation that something is fundamentally wrong with me that I'll never be able to change.

Thats exactly the problem. I am not social and going out is so unbearably uncomfortable that it makes it impossible to have fun and relax. Meeting anyone special going out often is impossible, and I don't think my chances of finding a "bed-buddy" are any better. I don't think this is true either. At some point you need to have a relationship with another human being in order to grow or function normally. I'm talking about a serious soap-opera relationship type of relationship - I'm just talking about the dicitonary definition of the word. Just some kind of posative interaction with someone. This part is off topic, but You're 19 and you sound like you don't have any trouble with shyness. I mean you sound like you have met people, This is what I find most frustration of all. Alot of people offer advice - but all the advice is just go out, just meet people, just do it. Its nice to offer the adivce - but it doesn't help! To just go out, just talk to someone, just do it is not possible. I would have done it by now if I could have. Just think for a second at how you feel about life and how you look at things. If you are offering advice like just do this This is what I find most frustration of all. Alot of people offer advice - but all the advice is just go out, just meet people, just do it. Its nice to offer the adivce - but it doesn't help! To just go out, just talk to someone, just do it is not possible. I would have done it by now if I could have. I mean just think for a second at how you feel about life and how you look at things. Most of you have friends, or have people you've been involved with in someway. Think of how thats shaped your outlook on life. Now imagine if you lived in a world where all the people you knew are still there. You see them everyday, they know you are there. But they don't talk to you and you don't talk to them. Imagine if you spent your life alone, almost like some kind of ***ed up twlightzone. That is what this is like. It really is like being a ghost

Also, why couldn't one person say hi to me? Some adivce is to go around talking to people. Well, someone has to start talking to someone - why can;t someone start talking to me. Once. In all these years.

No like reading, or making things like software or electronics. Stuff you really can't involve other people in. That is exactly the problem. I DON'T have the confidence to say "hi" to people. I never have. And alot of the reason I don't is because of the enitre situation with women in general. I've never been shown any type of interest, never had any interaction, never had any really communication with them. I've never been treated as I have seen them treat other guys. In other words, in thier eyes I'm not the same as those guys, not as good as those. Not as fully human as they are. Sure part of it is my outlook - but that is not what started it. When I was growing up and go through high school and collage I didn't necessarily feel that way. Yet many, many others - most others - have had some kind of relationship with the opposite sex by the time they are an adult. I'm not saying they all had girlf friends or were constantly getting attention from girls. But by the time they reached adulthood they'd had some form of social interaction. I don't know what I did that was so different. What could I possibly even begin to base any confidence on? There is nothing about me another human has ever found interesting or attractive enough to say "hi" to me. Everyones advice is always just have confidence, have confidence. Well its a big problem.

You don't understand. I'm NOT going to go to a bar at all. I don't even feel like trying to explain this. People who have expirenced this understand what this feels like. Those who haven't just don't seem to get it. Can't fathom what its like to not be able to talk to someone, to live in isolation. There's no point anymore. Has anyone ever been there and changed? T

Yeah, I work for a large company. Male, live in an apt. alone. Not a whole lot. I've never been comfortable in social settings since I was a child. Sorta. They mostly just go bars or clubs. I hate those places because its not at all fun for me there.

It seems to me that are really two kinds of people with this trouble in the other thread. One type is just shy. They've had relationships, or at least seem to be in a position where they could meet people and start one but they feel uncomfortable. The other type has never had a relationship -of any kind.. They don't feel comfortable either, but they really aren't exposed to any opportunity. There was alot of advice for the first type - but what about the second type.