Belle

It sounds like he is blaming you for his feelings of worthlessness. That's where he's wrong. He should have told you earlier on how you felt, so you could change before. He needs counseling in a bad way. I would get out of the relationship and suggest he seek counseling, and you do the same for yourself to learn better relationship techniques. I did that after I broke up with someone, tried to go back and he decided he didn't think he wanted to try to make it work. You can only do your own work. This guy needs to take responsibility for healing himself. you cannot do it for him. Best of luck, Belle

I'm actually on a mission to get over my ex as quickly as possible (without a proxy). I'm doing the no call thing, but I'm truly hoping to move past it thru therapy and positive thoughts. I screwed up and broke it off with him for the reason that he hurt me (I should have talked to him first but I admitted my mistake and profusely apologized) and he decided that he didn't know if he could trust me. Pretty silly considering he said he loved me. It's not like I cheated on him. Anyway, if someone isn't willing to give me a chance and wants to punish me for making an error when you put yourself on the line, all I can say is it's time to move on. I've done it before in unhealthy relationships, I can do it now. The funny thing is that when they realize you don't want them any more it's an aphrodisiac. I counted all of the men I've dated seriously/slept with and when I left they all came back but 1. They all grew up too late because I had moved on. And I'm going to do it this time too. The only solace I have right now is in knowing that I have unresolved issues and immaturity and I have decided that life is too short to not grow up and take personal responsibility. It will make me a better person in the long run and ready for a good guy who's willing to appreciate it. Belle PS I have found that listening to white flag by dido is pretty helpful...

I'm only in week 1 of no contact. I made the mistake of breaking up with someone after a short but very intense relationship because I tend to withdraw when I get scared that someone could or has hurt me. I ended up calling and we met and talked about things for hours but he was still gunshy that I might hurt him again at the slightest provocation. He hasn't owned up to his responsibility for hurting me, although I've apologized several times for hurting him. He said he only wants to be friends, the day after he wanted to see me again and be with me. He promised to return my things but hasn't. I feel like he's waiting for things to calm down and try again. The problem is that he may have gone back to his ex-girlfriend which would be a deal breaker for me. I put myself out there and took a risk, which is uncharacteristic of me in love. I fly when things go wrong. I've sought therapy and realize that if I want a healthy, intimate relationship I have to stop running. But I can't do the work for both of us. The waiting is the hardest part. If I knew it was truly over I believe I could move on easier. This guy would have given me the stars and now he doesn't want to give me a chance. How can that be? And why is it that I still want him back knowing that I'm willing to take responsibility and he doesn't?