CheeseCake

Hi ..we have almost the same story.. me and my first bf get back to each other after 19 years of no contact.. you can read my story here link removed . Did you have any big fight? what made her call the cop? Does she has a new guy? well.. whether she has or not.. why not send her a note..saying " I miss you as my friend.. i can set aside my love for you if you want me too. I don't want to lose you. I hope you'll talk to me again.. " Good luck !

My son had a same problem with you since when his 12.. his now 16 years old.. my daughter too.. she suffered that acne prob.. my daughter tried the laser system too, to remove her acnes, it worked at first.. but came back.. it didn't work. My friend adviced me to the dermatologist in the Philippines.. she's a chinese doctor. She sent us here 8 different stuffs to apply morning and nite.. IT WORKED! My son and daughter's face is very fine now! it cost us $250 + shipment/each. WORTH IT! if you're interested, please contact me email removed or email removed

Thank you Hoping & Praying i'll be waiting for your advice. In the Philippines.. legally, the first marriage wins against previous marriages. Me + our child ( didn't grow up with him, only with me ) = 2 against 5 ( his second wife +4 kids ( who almost didn't grow up with him too.. co'z he always work overseas )). I can be his kids friend, even their second mother if i need too. Coz i want him to be my son's friend too. Do you think his 4 kids will get him against our Love? and what should i do ?

First.. hello everyone ! My story could take long reading.. hehe! I wonder ..only few people will read it till the end. OK.. I'm 41 at present, residing here in Japan, but i'm a Filipina..with my 2 kids. My daughter, is 22 years old now, and my son, is 16 years old. My daughter's father is a Filipino, my first boyfriend.. and my son's father is a Japanese, but got divorce 5 years ago. My story goes like this.. i met my first boyfriend/first Love, Ador.. when i was 17, that was way back.. 1978. He is a cousin of our neighbor in the Philippines. I met him first time in the birthday party of one of our neighbor. I was with another guy, who's courting me ( Angelo (not my boyfriend) ), and he (Ador) was with another girl. In that party.. we kept staring each other, but didn't talk much. He invited me to dance, but after that dance, the group of the guy with me kept an eye on him, the guy Angelo got jealous, co'z he noticed too that Ador got my attention.. Angelo and his group planned to beat Ador outside the party, but Ador's cousin stopped them. After 3 days from that day.. while i was enrolling my second semester of my first year in college.. I saw Ador! He was enrolling in the same school i'm in! We're both surprised and excited.. we talked a lot from that day.. He knew too that i'm a muse in our barrio that time, "Miss Bo. San Jose '78". He doesn't want to believe me that i don't have a bf, but i told him that my parents are strict... my parents doesn't let us ( me and my younger sister ) to go outside the house much. We became friends from that day! He asked me the places inside the campus that i usually hang up. That day.. we said bye to each other like "see ya".. But honestly.. i thought, maybe i'll see him sometime inside the campus only by coincidence. But the next day.. while i was hanging with my other friends.. HE CAME! ( till he learned that i was with a college fraternity, a fraternity that doesn't have an initiation, it was just starting to build, the group are just few.. in short.. it's just a group of friends.. and trying to form a fraternity ) and really! he surprised me! He sat beside me.. while my group of friends were asking each other "who's that guy?!" but nobody knows him..only me! I didn't know too that my group (only guys) talked to him, without my knowledge, asked him if he wants to hang out with us.. he has to pass the initiation! UGH! and he did! he brought one of his friend too.. so he won't be alone. It really surprised me when i learned about that issue, i got mad to my group, till I and Ador decided to hang out to another place, and avoid them without their notice. Ador asked me all my subjects and schedules. He never told me that he loves me.. i like him.. and i know he likes me too.. Coz he always looks for me. Till one time.. he invited me to see a movie..OMG! it was my first time going out with a guy at the movie! my first date?! I was so nervous! My mom kept telling me since i was a kid .. that, if i go out with a guy at the movie.. i'll get pregnant! Co'z there are lots of kissings happen inside the movie! Well.. while we were on our way to the movie.. curiosity,curiosity! but i don't understand myself too.. why i can't say NO to him! So i told myself.. "Let's see.." ... Honestly.. maybe.. that was the day i started falling in love with him. He was a gentleman! Honestly.. i didn't understand the movie we're watchin that time.. co'z i was curious and kept watching all his moves! But he never touched me! or even hold my hand! Yes.. am in love with him! We became sweethearts.. Till we decided to get married secretly, that was September 20,1979. We call it in the Philippines "Secret marriage", It's legal.. only..it's secret. We had sex after our marriage.. of course.. secretly.. lol! But we didn't had much of that.. co'z we're both scared too if i got pregnant.. We both want to finish our studies. But one time.. it was almost the end of the semester.. he finished his exam earlier than mine.. and he went home early too, And i finished my exam after 2 hours after he left. When i was about to go home.. i saw my friends on my way out the campus. They invited me to go to a birthday party, i refused, but they didn't stop inviting me till i say YES, but i told them.. i have to make a phone call to Ador and ask his permission. But they said.. that i can call Ador when we got there in the party, and no need to look for a payphone. That's what i did first of all. The party wasn't starting yet.. just some music playing. I look for a telephone. I called up Ador.. I asked him .."A friend is inviting me to a party, Can i go with them?" ( pretending that am not in there yet ) .. He replied.. " Are you going to the party? or.. aren't you there already?!" .. i realized.. he heard the noises around me! I WAS STUPID! yes.. i know.. but i was only trying to be honest with him! I didn't want him to think that i decided for myself already! If ever he'll say no.. I'll go home right away! .. I tried to explain to him.. everything what happened.. but he never speak any single word after that. But i knew.. he's still in the other line. That was our first fight. The next day.. he talked to me.. he was really mad at me! and he asked for a cool off. I really cried while we were breaking up. He said.. "Don't cry.. everyone's lookin at us".. i asked him to go right away from me, and i don't want to see him again! It really hurts.. I never see him inside the campus again after that. I missed him everyday.. everywhere i look inside the campus, We had memories everywhere i look inside the campus... places we used to hang out. I was dying to see him everyday. I used to make a phone call to his house too, just to hear his voice.. but when after the other line said "Just a moment.. he's outside, i'll call him".. while waiting, i was so nervous and scared.. and wondering.. he might ask me.."Why did you call?".. i dunno what am gonna say! so i hang up the phone..PRIDE!PRIDE!PRIDE! In short.. after we broke up.. i waited for a year.. for him to show up. I gave up. wondering.. maybe, He has a new girlfriend and happy with her. I had a lot of suitors after we broke up.. But i was always comparing them to my Ador. I decided to go hang out outside the campus, co'z i'm stucked! I wanted to change my views. There was a fastfood restaurant in the university belt, i started goin there in my vacant hours, before my first subject, when i get to school early.. and pass there before goin home. Till i met a guy.. named Doddie, real name is Abelardo. He's handsome! Most of the girls hangin in that fastfood restaurant wanted him! I always see that Doddie around, hangin out with lots of college girls. But i never joined them. Till one day.. when i was on my way goin to my mom.. my mom was sick, she's confined in the hospital beside my school.. it was my mom's birthday.. October 4,1980.. Doddie followed me, and started asking my name.. and where am i going.. I told him.. i'm going to the hospital.. it's my mom's birthday, he asked me if he can go with me.. i said "sure". well.. that was the start. From the next day, October 5, 1980. Doddie always looks for me, everytime he's in the fastfood.. invites and treat me for lunch.. and bring me back to school after my vacant hours, and picks me up after my class.. and bring me home. Everyday.. till i can't find my space.. and told my parents that i want to avoid him.. Till my parents decided for us to stay with my uncle's house in the province for the meantime.. But heck! Doddie still followed me there! He still kept picking me up from school... waiting at the university gate! OK.. i'll make this short.. Doddie didn't stop following me, and there was a time that he slept with my guy cousins, many times.. co's there no more bus going back to Manila after 9pm. Till my parents asked him, what's he's purpose to me.. co'z it's a shame for our family to see us going out from the same house in the morning.. and coming home at the same time too! and we're not married. Doddie said that he wants to marry me. When my parents told me that am getting married.. I was like "eeh?! yah?! is that supposed to be?!".. We got married.. civil marriage..December 4, 1980. my dad's birthday! Geeeze! from the first day i met him.. after 2 months! I got married?!?! Even me.. myself.. i can't believe what was happenning.. It was so fast!! and i was like.. My parents decided for that.. i should follow them. We started living like husband and wife from that time.. I didn't even seen any member of his family.. And to tell you.. Doddie's identity in that marriage contract are wrong! He didn't put his real name "Abelardo" but "Doddie" but his surname is real , just the name.. but it's still falsification of public documents!.. and he's real age is just 2 years older than me.. but he said to my parents that he's 5 years older than me. So his age in that marriage contract is false too! well.. i've learned this things from him.. after that marriage. I learned from him too.. that he has 2 kids, but not married, his mom didn't let them to get married, co'z he's too young. (Honestly.. I was still longing for Ador that time, but i can't do anything. I wish.. he was my husband..) I still went to school that time, even i got married. But never seen Ador again.. After 3 months.. We had a church wedding... that was March 25,1981. Not preggy yet, i've been wondering that Doddie can't make a baby anymore, co'z he has only one ball.. he had a hernia, and he's other ball was taken off... aside from that, He had been taking drugs since his 14 years old. Different addictive drugs. 3 days after my church wedding.. i was in school, ADOR CAME TO ME! i was like WHOOOOOOA!! i was like.. "Why now?!?! i got married! " .. He asked me.. "I heard from my cousin, that you got married".. i can't say anything.. just quiet. then he asked.. " How come you got married?!! We got married already!".. (i was like huh?! yeah!.. but.. isn't it fake co'z it wasn't announced?) i said.. " Apparently..yes.. I dunno".. "Why you didn't tell them that you're married already?!".. "How can i say that? what if they asked.. where are you?.. and where can i find you?!".. "You know where to find me.. why you didn't look for me?!".. he added " I can put you in court if i want to! co'z you're married to me, eventhough it's secret, it's legal!".. i was like.. OMG..oh no.. at my age?!inside the jail?!?!OH NO!!.. but he added.. " Don't worry.. i won't do that.. But i wish you're happy.. ".. I told him that am not happy! I told him everything what happened. I told him how i am after we broke up. I told him that It's HIM that i love and i still love!.. He explained to me too, that he was waiting for me too to apologize to what i did, co'z he thought that it was my fault.. and i am suppose to talk to him first. GEEEEZE!!! PRIDE!PRIDE!PRIDE! In short.. we got back to our loving arms again from that day. We see each other everyday from that day... Doddie has no idea what's happening to me.. co'z he only comes home to our house ( we were living with my parents) very seldom.. He's busy playing with another girls, and of course.. he sometimes go to his other family to see his 2 kids. He kept saying to my family that he has to work outside the city. And he has to stay there. Lies..lies..lies. I knew he was lying, i asked him once why he lies.. he said.. " I'm not a type of man who can stay in one place!" .. But one time.. He caught me once, He felt that i still love Ador, when my book marker fell down the floor.. and that bookmarker is a handmade.. made by me, a long time ago, before i met him..named "Ador".. I've been using that eversince.. Only, that's the first time he saw it. He asked me.. "Why are you still keeping that?!".. i didn't say anything.. i was like.. so what?!? Month of April.. first time.. my menstruation didn't came.. I knew it's Ador's! co'z i never had sex with Doddie anymore after I had sex with Ador again. Everytime Doddie asked me to have sex with him.. I always told him that i dunno who is he having sex with, i don't want to have an STD or sumthing. We had fight co'z i refuse, and always ended to nothing. My big problem started.. I dunno what to do at first.. but i want to keep my first baby! But i have to do something.. i know! I told Doddie that i'm pregnant.. i was like.. "whatever" .. i was expecting Doddie too, to ask me.. how come? and who's?!.. he never asked.. instead.. after my check up, and learning it's positive.. on our way home.. he asked me calmly... "What are you goin to do with that baby?" .. i was surprise with his question.. i answered him with another question "What?!?!" (wondering.. he knew it's not him's.. is this mind game? ..whatever) He repeated his question.. "What are you goin to that baby? are you goin to keep it?".. silence... I answered him.. "Yes.. it's my first baby, i want my baby". That's the only thing he asked me.. The next day.. he left again to somewhere.. back to normal.. same ole ..same ole. He got back home after a week.. but after he left after that day he got back.. He never got back again.. for months! I never told Ador that am pregnant.. We kept goin out everyday.. after my school. I asked him too to keep our relationship as a secret. Co'z it will be a big shock in my clan.. and to people around our community. At first.. he refused, he even suggested me to run away with him. But..where do we go? I don't think his family will keep us, after they learned that am married to somebody else! I explained to him, that it will be hard for us, and my mom mighthave a heart attck, if she learned what's happening! I made him understand me.. but still, i can feel that he's not happy about it. Which made me not to tell him that am having his baby, Co'z am sure.. He might not let me go home anymore. In my sixth month of my pregnancy.. there i started feeling uneasy.. (Doddie doesn't come home anymore.. i learned from his brother's wife.. that Doddie is having an affair with another girl, a call girl.. and they're living in his mother's house) I'm scared for Ador to know that am pregnant, co'z for sure.. he will know that it's his baby am carrying. So i started not goin to school anymore.. I miss Ador.. I want to see him.. But i didn't have a choice. I know.. he's looking for me.. I saw him many times too.. passing to our house going to his cousin's house.. but am sure, he didn't know what to do too.. He can't even ask his cousin's about me.. co'z his cousin knows too.. that am already married to someone else. I cried a lot.. almost gave up.. wanting to tell my parents what happened and the truth. But i was scared.. if my mom got a heart attack because of me.. Everyone will gonna blame me. My mom caught me crying once.. ahe asked me why.. I told her that i'm crying for Doddie.. co'z he never comes home.. My mom told me instead.. "Don't cry.. if you always cry.. your baby is suffering too..and will look ugly, because you're suffering while she/he's inside of you". I realized.. i have to move on.. have to look on the bright way of life instead. And i kept praying , wishing that.. my baby looks like Doddie.. she/he should possess any of Doddie's personality.. so people will think that it's Doddies's baby. So i tried my best to keep Doddie on my mind, he's looks and everything. BS huh? yah.. i was stupid. February 22, 1982.. My baby girl was born.. she's very pretty. Of course.. everyone thinks that she looks like Doddie, co'z they believe that my baby is Doddie's baby. February 23.. the next day.. Doddie arrived in the hospital.. to see my baby.. guess what? He put his gun beside my pillow, beside my head..it's a 45 caliber.. I asked him "what's that for?".. he said.. " I don't have money to take you and your baby out of this hospital, to pay the bill.. Can i sell my gun to your doctor?" i was like "WTF! no thanks! don't bother! my dad prepared for this day, he will pay all the bills, and you better go.. co'z dad doesn't want to see you here!". I didn't see Ador anymore.. I still love him.. wondering how is he doin.. and am sure too.. he already know that i delivered his baby. I went back to school the next semester.. but i didn't see him anymore. Doddie still visits us once in a while.. It's not because he wants to see us.. it's because.. he doesn't have a place to sleep. I worked with my dad's company.. not for long.. Till i decided to work to another company.. and live alone with my baby.. Me and Doddie finally broke up. When my baby girl is almost 3 years old.. that was 1984, i called up Ador.. he was surprised of course! then i told him where i live.. if she wants to see us.. he can come.. He came that nite! after his school!.. OH GOD! I STILL LOVE HIM! I whispered to him.. while my baby girl is playing.. "our baby.. she's cute...isn't she?" he simply replied "I know, she's my baby" .. he kept playing with our baby.. He told me about his activities.. and he told me that he still in school... From that day.. he come to my apartment everyday.. after his school. Till i learned from my sister.. that Ador talked to her .. and he wanted me to go with him.. start a new life with him with our daughter.. and if i can't stand what people say.. He will bring us to United States.. where his parents are.. and start our new life there. After i learned about that, i got bother again.. was thinking.. If i do that.. my family won't like it.. and everyone will ask.. "how come is that?".. my family wouldn't know how to answer them.. So what i did is.. I transferred again.. i changed my apartment.. In short.. i ran away from him again. My another new life started again.. i decided to move on again. I decided to be my baby's mom and dad .. but how? So i decided to go work in Japan.. I went there like two times as guitarist and a band member..It's a nice country. I wanted to upbring my baby girl in japan.. but how? There's a japanese who really wanted me.. wanted me to marry him.. i had lots of suitors.. at my age.. 24.. still young.. and charming.. hehehe! I chosed the guy older than me.. 8 years.. who can understand me.. co'z i have a luggage with me. I married him.. we had a son.. and i brought my baby girl here in japan too. She studied here since her 6th grade.. and now she's working here.. My babies are no longer kids.. I never been home in my homeland for 8 years after 1995 for 6 days.. Even i was busy with my kids.. i never missed thinking about Ador , especially when his birthday comes.. many years passed.. Yes.. many years.. i haven't seen him for many years. February 2003.. I went back to the Philippines with my son.. (But my son went back to japan earlier than me). My parents.. brothers and sisters were really happy seeing us. Till one day.. during my stay there. Me and my mom talked about "FIRST LOVE".. the very first time i uttered to her .. about Ador.. but i didn't tell her who is Ador in my life.. i only told her.. that he is my first love.. my mom remembers him.. coz Ador used to bring me home when we didn't have any break up issue yet... There.. he started playing on my mind again.. I stood up from my bed that nite.. i dialed his phone number, wondering if it's still working.. unfortunately..it's not. The next day (Wednesday).. i asked my sister to call my cousin and do the research of Ador's contact number.. my sister called me back.. and she said.. my cousin will call her on Sunday.. that time.. we will know Ador's contact number. Saturday.. i can't wait anymore.. I asked my mom to come with me to my cousin's place. In short.. i got Ador's phone number.. thru his cousin. But unfortunately.. Ador is not in the Philippines.. He's working somewhere in the Middle East country.. I didn't carry any mobile phone to use in the Philippines. so i kept asking my brother to dial that number that day.. co'z it's Ador's birthday! I wanted to greet him! but.. i dunno.. i kept having an error when i dial his number.. the operator kept saying that i have to check the number. I'd been tryin to contact him thru that number for one week, while i was in the Philippines.. but it didn't work, till i started to wonder that .. his cousin gave me a wrong number.. or maybe i made a mistake copying his number. Well.. i gave up. I get back here in Japan..March 15. One time.. after i made a long distance call to my mom in the Philippines.. i was playing with my cellular phone.. I dunno what made me do it.. i tried to dial Ador's number.. doing the same thing as i did when i called up my mom.. IT RANG!!! geeeze!.. the reason why i can't contact him when i was in the Philippines was.. i didn't put the international code! like "00" or "+" before his number!... it's ringing.. somebody lift it up.. and said "Hello?".. i said.. "Hello?" was trying to recall his voice.. i asked the guy who lift up the phone "are you Ador?".. he said.. "Yes?".. i can't believe it! I asked again.. "Really? are you Ador?".. He said.. "Yes i am Ador.. who's this?!" i was like.. OMG..OMG..OMG!! i didn't answer him who am i.. instead.. i asked him.."How are you doin?".. he said "I'm doin ok.. how about you?".. "Am doin ok too? where are you?".. he said.. "I'm in my room" hahaha! i can't stop laughing to what he replied! i asked him again.." I meant.. what country are you working now?".. "aah.. i'm in the UAE"..he laughed too. I asked him "What are you goin out there? let's go home! hehehe war there is about to start! Let's go home!".. He said.. "There will be no war here! hehe".. "aren't you near in Iraq?".. he laughed.. "UAE is far from there.. another thing.. i just finished my vacation last February, i just get back here less than a month hehehe".. " I see.. anyway.. do you recognize who i am?" i asked him.. "hmmm... talk more.. let me recall your voice".. "eeh? we'd been talkin already! hehe!".. he asked me.. "way back what year?".. what a strange question from him.. hehehe! " uumm.. way back..late 70's?" i said. "I think i remember you.. but i don't want to make a mistake if i say name".. i told him my name.. silence............. he repeated my name.. "How are you?!?!".... "I'm doin fine!".. he said.. "I can't believe that i'm talking to you now..." "me either!" i told him that i've been trying to contact him on his birthday.. but it didn't work out! .. he asked my number.. he said, he'll gonna call me.. co'z it might cost me much. So i hang the phone.. and waited for his call.. my phone didn't ring for like 10 minutes.. and i started thinking about my number that i gave him! GEEEZE! i gave him a wrong number! grrrr! so i called up again.. i told him that i'm not used giving my number, and i don't memorize my own number. He said..ok.. he'll try to call me again to that new number i gave... 10 minutes pass.. 15 minutes pass.. no call yet! i called him up again! hehe! and when he answered my call.. he said.. "My heart beats fast when i hear your voice!hehehe".. well.. i am too! .. i gave him my country code.. which i forgot to tell him.. then after i hang my phone.. my phone rang quick! YEES! he did it!!! .. then i asked him if he has any email address.. or does he go to the internet.. he said.. he doesn't have any email address.. but he'll make a new one the next day! OOHLALA! The next day.. we talked online.. and since then.. we talked online everytime he has time.. and of course.. we call each other at least twice a day.. He cried , i cried.. we talked about what happened within our 19 years.. He told me too that he got married.. and it was like a shotgun marriage.. and has 4 kids.. I told him too.. that am happy that he's happy.. and i can be his friend.. can talk to me anytime he needs someone to listen. Till one day.. i had a strong feeling.. an urge to see him! He said.. he's way too far drom me! but i didn't care even if he's in the planet of Mars!! i just wanted to see him even once again! He refused at first, co'z he's worried about the expenses goin there.. I told him.. I will only live once! what is that expenses for?! compared to seeing him!! I told him not to worry.. i'm his friend.. and i don't have any plan to wreck his family. At first we were friends.. but day passes.. we found out ourselves.. that we can't control or hide our both feelings to each other anymore! We still love each other.. yes.. after 19 years of no contact at all.. March 20 2003, i talked to him again... after a long long journey in life.. May 24, 2003.. I went to to Dubai! that's the very first time again.. after i saw him in my apartment..19 years ago. We recognized each other easily in the airport.. when he picked me up... I wanted to kiss him! hug him! embrace him! but UUUH! UAE! LOTS OF DON'TS!!! CULTURE SHOCK!!! well.. we just hold each other's hands when we were inside the car! hehe! He explained to me some weird culture of that country.. it's really different from the culture i had been in my whole life. adjust..adjust. We live like husband and wife.. well.. apparently.. we are, he's my very first marriage and likewise. He told me that he want to divorce his wife.. but uuh! there's no divorce in the Philippines.. that's weird in the Philippines tho.. I told him.. don't! He should stay with his family.. But he said.. He loves his kids.. But he can't live with his wife anymore.. He's fed up with his everyday fights with her wife.. and his reason why he still stay with her wife is because he loves his kids. .. i told him.. not to think that way.. i can be his friend.. yes i do love him.. and because i love him.. i don't want him to take him away from his family... He blames me sometimes.. that.. if i only listen to him before.. His life won't be miserable.. and we're both happy.. well.. i admit.. i had a big part/fault on that. We were both happy everyday.. me living with him.. and him.. having me again.. Time was fast!.. I stayed with him in the UAE for almost like 2 months..i didn't want to leave him yet.. but i had some stuffs to work on, and i have to go back to the Philippines. I left Dubai last July 2003. We continued our relationship thru online sometimes.. phone calls, and thru miscalling each other phones. Got back here in Japan.. and went back to the Philippines last November 2003. It was like a long distance love affair.. My feeling for him never changed.. Time didn't made it to fade. He went back to the Philippines last February 14.. Valentines day! The sweetest valentine's day i had in my whole life! He came home to me.. for a vacation.. He didn't let his family know that he will come to the Philippines.. He wanted his wife to know about us.. He doesn't want us to hide.. Actually.. His wife still learned that he's in the Philippines with me.. his wife knew about us already.. She knew too.. that i'm the first wife.. I heard a lot of threats from his wife. Ador told her too.. that he can't live with his her anymore.. But he's wife is still using their kids to Ador.. for financial reasons.. and of course.. to get Ador back.. But Ador used to tell me.. He doesn't want to live with his wife again.. but he'll gonna miss his kids. We still love each other so much.. nothing changed.. respect to each other is still there.. which is important in the relationship.. and of course LOVE.we don't want to lose each other. Any advice for me to do? To keep him with me? -- "Life is short and it's up to you to make it sweet."