How exactly does marriage counseling work?

Sorry for the dumb question, but how exactly does marriage counseling work? How do you know it is working? How long do you give it before you call it quits?

Appreciate any thoughts, and exspecially from those that went through/are going through it.

I'm separated now for 3 months. We went through the process of marriage counseling and had a PATHETIC time with it. First of all, here is how it works:

To avoid hassles from insurance, usually they will only cover the female spouse (I don't know why). Have her apply; it will be covered. For the copay it's usually around $25.

For the first session, he sat there and took down notes - family histories, problems, dysfunctionalities, etc.

For the second session, this is where it all went wrong. He started reading SCRIPTURE to us and passed out biblical stuff. We NEVER wanted THAT.

BEFORE you select a counselor, and if you are not accustomed to Christianized counseling, ASK him before the sessions begin. It basically messed us up even more because we are not church goers nor do we practice any religion.

GO FOR IT otherwise...it will prove that at least as a couple, you tried, and gave it your best shot.

Marriage counseling is different with every counselor. You have to find one that both of you can communicate with. A good counselor will work with both of you to help you talk - they will not judge one side or the other as "in the right" unless it is such obvious behavior that they have no choice (such as abuse). Some people find religious counseling does work, others don't.

How do you know it is working - you asked. Well generally that is a feeling you will get inside. You either start to feel better about things, or you don't. You asked how long that takes. No legitimate counselor will guarantee results in x weeks. It depends on your situation. But it generally takes a period of months - no less. As long as you continue to see improvement it is working.

I hope this helps.

Thanks for the replies, I can honestly say I have seen improvement in myself, but not sure if the counselor has had an impact. We haven't seen her in 3 weeks (she was on vacation) but the last time we where there, she ripped me a new ahole.

Thanks for the comment about time, I am not good at waiting, will keep you updated.