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Thread: She hurt me so bad, but why do i still love her?

  1. #1
    David83
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    She hurt me so bad, but why do i still love her?

    If there are regular members on here than you will know what has happened to me but if you arent then please check my other topics in the 'Love' forum, thanks!

    Well me and my ex have been apart for over 2 months now, and we went out to a club we always used to go to about 4 weeks ago, but it didnt go well, as you will be able to tell from obe of my other topics.

    She never spoke to me after that, even though i done nothing wrong, i sent her a message every now and again afterwards, just asking how she was and if she was having a good day, nothing major just general chit chat, thens he sent one back saying that like was great for her at the minute, and that i should stop saying 'Love david' at the end of messages because we are not going out anymore, she said that she had moved on i should too, but when we were out at the club, why sis she keep looking at me whenever i spoke to another girl??
    so i sent her a message back saying how can someone who you has loved someone for 2 1/2 years and were engaged to just move on that quick, and i said that i thought that her new friends had hcanged her, because it is the truth they have changed her but she is being to stubborn to realise, then i got a reply saying, that she has not changed, she has just grown up, and that i should too. Which was balls because she has changed because of her friends. Then i got another one and she said that she thinks it will be far to hard for us to be friends and that i am being childish???, i was thinking to myself 'What the......' well i said to her of course we can be frends its just hard for me to understand how someone can move on so quick, i wanna still be friends and we can still talk. and i said please dont forget about me!. I said that because i love her so much! this was on a wednesday, it was my birthday coming up on the sunday.

    It got to saturday and i got up early to check the mail to see if i got a card off her for my birthday because there is no post on sundays, but i didnt get one, and i though to myself, she might give me one in person tomorrow, it came to my birthday and i didnt get a card or even a message or a call to say happy birthday, i was really hurt by this because she could have at least said happy birthday, i wasnt bothered about no card or present!

    That wasnt the main thing that hurt me, i got a phone call from my friend Ben, asking me if i would like to go down the club, that we always go to, including me and lisa when we were together, but i said no because i had no money, then i got a call from my sister, and it wasnt very good news. She said ive got some bad news for you, i dunno if i should tell you or not, but i said go ahead, and she told me that Lisa had a new boyfriend and that she is down the club with him now, i was gutted!!, she didnt even tell me she had a new boyfriend, and she went down the club that i always go to with him, and didnt even tell me, i had to find out from one of my friends!!, now how low is that!!??, i was really really hurt, not by the f act that she had a new boyfriend but the way i found out about it, everyone i know from the club new before me?, it hurt so much, so i sent lisa a lng message telling her what i though of her, and telling her how much she has hurt me by not telling me and letting my find out by someone else.

    But then i found out who her new boyfriend was, then i started to laugh!!, because he is a boy i used to work with a couple of months ago, he is only 16, 17 max and he takes drugs!!, im not being big headed or nothng but how she could have moved from me to a 16 year old druggie??, she is 19 on august 3rd for christ sakes!, he isnt even old enough to be in the club that they go to. Ii was laughing so hard when i found out, and everyone i know is laughing at it, because he is a little bastard, and he gets beat up like every other week because is tries to be cocky with everyone, and ends up getting beat up.

    Me and my friends say that it will last about 1 week 2 weeks maximum with him, because her parents are very very against people who takes drugs and they will hate him, i dont know what she is thinking!

    But i am worried for her, she is a really nice person at heart and i dont wanna see her starting to smoke and take drugs just so she can be like him, if she does i will lose all respect for her, people keep telling me to get him sorted out and give him a good beating, but im not like that, i wil exchange words with him and tell him what i think of him, specially because as he was supposed to be a friend and knows what me and lisa have been going through?? They cant be getting along very well, because i found out that when they were out lisa was crying on the stairs, and they were both sitting there for 2 hours??, i know she isnt right for him, but i suppose she has to learn for herself, i just feel like an idiot losing a girl i was engaged to and then fiding out she is going out with a 16-17 year old druggie! i dont think she knows what she is wanting right now, and hopefully she will realise how much i meant to her?

    But i have a problem..... Why do i still love and care for her?? spcially when she has done something like this to me?, im supposed to be hating her right now right?, i am very pissed off at her, but i cant hate her?m why is this, i dont understand, i just still love her, and i probably always will!!, please help me

  2. #2
    kdreger
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    closure

    Part of the problem people still love someone after a breakup is because they didn't want it to end. Did she break with you? I'm in the same boat. My ex broke up with me and now is off dating and who knows what else with other guys. I still love her. The only solution I can give you is what I'm attempting to do - go cold turkey. You're just punishing yourself otherwise. You hold on to a false sense of hope when she's around. She's moved on and you will have to as well. You just have to give it time. How long depends on you but it will be a struggle, it'll be hard, but one day you will be ok again.

  3. #3
    Tolly
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    Same here mate. Shes gone. Leave it alone and try to heal. It hurts bad, but it gets betta. One day you'll see her alone and laugh

  4. #4
    Kaystar87
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    I know how you feel........

    Im going through a similar thing, we were together for 10 months, but it was 10 months i had my heart laid out for the whole world to see. I mean me and him did everything and been through everything and experianced everything together and one day he just stopped caring about me and no matter what i did it didn't help. I couldn't figure it out, and now he told me had found someone else on vacation who lived in tx *we live in tn and we're both 16* anyway he chose this girl who he talked to for just 7 days over me who gave him everything possible and was loyal to him towards the end. Needless to say i know how you feel, how can someone who said they love you and you love them hurt you this badly and move on so quickly? I can't really say, but trust me i know all too well how you're feeling. and it hurts but it does get better eventually......it feels good to do stuff and not think about, to see other people, and talk to 'em as little as possible. It's like that saying "If you love something let it go, and if it comes back its yours and if it doesn't, then it never was"

  5. #5
    JimInNJ
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    I'm Sorry for you, David

    David, I can feel for you right now. My wife of 20 years just up and told me that she was leaving me because she was unhappy and needed to think about things for awhile. She said she was going to rent a room from a friend. That was 3 months ago. I am taking care of my 2 boys ages 6 and 16. I found out that she is living with a male friend who she had only recently met. Now, my family and friends see her everywhere with this guy, in malls, clubs, restaurants and the movies. We're still legally married but she's acting like a single teenager. She has done everything to hurt and spite me......why I don't know. All I know is that I still love her and would take her back in a second. I can't believe I would even say that because how do you trust someone who has turned her back on her husband and her kids? Maybe I am screwed up or something. But my life is not the same without her. I am so lonely now. I feel as though my life is over. I haven't been happy in 3 months. I can't sleep, I've lost close to 30 pounds and I have aches and pains all over the place. Maybe we can help each other.

  6. #6
    David83
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    Yeah i know how you feel Jim, for some reason i would take Lisa back in a second, i know i should be hating her right now but i just cant, basically because i still love her, and i know for a fact that i always will, im hurting so much right now, ive lost 16 lbs because i havent been eating properly, she just means so much to me, even now!

  7. #7
    kdreger
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    Soon

    Wait for it guys...

    Soon will come the anger stage. I'm in it right now. Forget the *beep*! If she thinks she can do better than you... *beep* her! Karma, baby, it exists. Maybe not right now but eventually she'll be where you are now and then she'll look back and think about it.

    Watch "Swingers". It's a show about a guy who is dumped and has to come to terms with it.

    Best thing you can do is act like you don't care, even if you do.

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