women!! why do we love them!!!!!

hey there i have posted a issue here before also, there is this girl that i went out with for about a year and then she broke it off due tothe fac it wasnt the right kind of love for marriage we are only 19 so i was sort of confused at that point, but still i took the losss and tried to move on, we tried to be friends but ended up just doing things like making out, so we needed space so we agreed to talk every friday on the phone to keep the friendship alive, ok the problem is that i was doing great, hanging out with friends and having a good time, but whenever she calls or emails i just fall for her over again,i want to keep the frienship there, but without hurting myself, i am trying to move on, i have met someone new, she is sweet, but i dont think its fair to start dating until im fully over the last love, so how do i move on, or what should i do?

Thanks

Karam

hi karam...

good 2 see u post with us. It sounds like you still really care 4 her, and it is going to be tough on u to keep the friendship alive, when u still have feelings lingering on. When she contacts you, and the feelings start flaring up again, it stands as an obstacle that inhibits you in really big way from giving urself completely in building a new new relationship with another girl...

The easiest way to move on from her (if you really want to) is to cut off all ties. It may be painful for both of u, since feelings still exist. My question is, you seem to still love her,..."Do you really want to move on?" as i may be wrong...

Altho u may be with a new girl, i dont feel that you are able to give her ur heart completely, and im hoping you are not falling into the rebound category. I think some of the guys here are more expereinced from your stand point of view and will offer you more guidance from a "mans" perspective. Good luck sweety...

cookies

You say that the reason you broke up was because you and your partner are not "marriage" material, did she say that or did you? if she was the one that said it, its probably that she wants you to change something about yourself that she doesnt like. I am just guessing as I really dont have much information here.

One thing for sure, your not over your ex? girlfriend yet, youll need to talk to her and try and find out her real intentions, tell her that you like her to much to be friends because you can move on this way. once she has her back against the wall, she may tell you what she really wants from you. It could be she really loves you too but something is bugging her, or it could be she doesnt love you and just calling you up, everytime she feels lonely because shes having a hard time also.

If its the latter then by breaking ALL connection with her, youll be doing both of you a favor.

Understand this, Do Not get into a relationship for at least 2 months after breaking up, you can be friends with this new girl, but dont ruin it, until you are completely healed both mentally and emotionally from your last GF.

in 2 or 3 months if you can talk or see your eX and you have no emotions stir up, then your probably ready to move on and love someone else.

I'll just reinterate what has already been said basically.

You need to determine what you want. Are you prepared to move on with your life and seek other relationships? Or do you geniunely wish to have a relationship with this woman? If it's the former, I suggest you cut all ties with her, explaining to her that before you can ever be friends, you have to heal completely. Maybe at a later point down the road, once you've healed, you two can be friends. If it's the latter, you need to sit her down and speak with her expressing your feelings/intentions, and listening to her feelings/intentions. Then you can decide together whether or not you both feel want to pursue a relationship or it's best to move forward. remember, it takes two "yeses' for a relationship to work, and only one "no" to end one.

I think you need to be forward with your feelings for girl #1. She broke up with you and left you in an awkward position, so now you are finally ready to move forward and she is back trying to mess with your head, I know that I am exaggerating here, but you know what I mean.

Tell her straight forward, it was her choice not to persue a relationship with you at the time, now you want to get to know how other girls are and she needs to be willing to step back out of the picture for a while. If you cannot say that yourself, have someone else tell her.