posted before..still no resolve...opinions please

so situation is...my ex and I ended pretty well at first, and then badly when we tried to be friends...badly because I spilled my guts to her and told her I wanted to marry her, which I meant (I've been married, I know what it means) while she was dating a guy 12 years older than her with 3 kids, and in the end, we stopped speaking because she stayed with him (you can't compete for someone, and you shouldn't get in the way of someone elses relationship)....anyways...she emailed me about 2 weeks ago over something more or less benign..didn't respond...and then on Thursday she calls at 2 am from the boyfriends house....and let me preface this next part by saying that I have panic disorder, which means that while I am at where I should be at this point...I've been tweeking all weekend about the "why" of it.....girl calls in this situation, it's either "need" related or a tradgedy...this girl called from her boyfriends house...leaving me with 3 options: 1)she's just plain immature and a little psycho, and she was there alone 2)both of them were there (though from what she said he's out of town most of the week, which was one of the reasons for the breakup, the possibility of a long distance relationship...she didn't want that...or 3)it was the guy (who I sort of know).....question is....what the f#$#....this girl knows that I am in love with her but knows that it ain't the time and why we can't be friends...thats how it ended...I hate to say I told you so but is it possible that somehow I never saw how needy this girl really is (her friends classify her as needing to be with someone...just when we were together I was going through a divorce...she knew the deal...and I thought we had passed that obstacle, however unnatractive it may be) If you read this respond with your gut reaction....I'm just trying to get a consensus here, and as many as possible so I can figure out what the f#$# is going on in her head (background: degree in Psych-so I tend to try and figure things out)...for the first time I have no clue.....respond at will kids.....

OK, so I get that you're trying to figure out what she was thinking phoning you at 2 am from her boyfriends house when you've agreed not to speak to each other but as for the rest of it I'm lost.

Did you speak to her? What was said? Because from your number "3) it was the guy" it sounds like you didn't actually talk or your talked to the guy or you just got caller ID or, or, or.

Could you just clear things up a bit, please.

no I didn't talk to her...picked it up un the caller ID in the morning...I did pick up the phone on one of the last rings, but whethere it was him or her they had already hung up. As for the rest I guess I'm just trying to say she seems to be in run and hide mode as she doesn't seem to be in the type of relationship that she said she required