Does my ex really want it to be over forever

Hi,

I am looking for a perspective from anyone who has ever done something similar to a girlfriend.

Things were great with my exboyfriend...I had no idea he intended to end things. He came over very upset and started crying and told me that I was a wonderful and amazing person and that I had all the qualities he was looking for but that he had been cheated on so many times that he had to back away to avoid getting hurt. He said he was scared and then told me he still wants me in his life and that we have so much fun together he didnt want me to end up hating him. We had met each others family and were together every single day of our relationship. He was actually the one who said I had made him see the light at the end of the tunnel and he was finally happy again after being hurt so many times. He told me not to hold back my feelings because he wanted to pursue a serious long term relationship with me. Then over night he came over with tears in his eyes and said he just couldnt do this right now.

This was only a few days ago and I am in shock. I hope someone is able to help out because I really truly think we should be together and I would never ever cheat on him. As it stands now I lied to him and told him I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. I know it was immature and I didnt mean it but now I dont know how to tell him my true feelings.

Hi. I think it's odd that I decided to look at your posting without knowing what it would be about, but this is EXACTLY...i mean exactly what has just happened to me. I had this amazing relationship with a guy who told me that I was an "island of light' for him. He said that his life was "pleasantly f~!@$ up" before I came along and turned things around. He had just gotten out of a relationship about 6 months prior to meeting me in which the girl had been cheating on him. I had just been coming out of a rough time in my life too (my father's sudden passing). He took me to meet his mom and introduced me to his best friends. He even admitted how naturally things flowed between us and that it had been a long time since things had been like that for him.

Then he cut off contact with me with no explanation and when I finally did get to talk to him he said that he had fallen too quickly and had been hurt so much in his life that he just couldn't go through "losing someone he loved again." He actually said to me that no matter who he meets in his life, he'll always be left in the end. So I spent months busting my butt trying to prove to him that that was not the case with me.

I know my advice won't even sink in with you now if this happened a few days ago. I know what it's like to be in your place (not doing anything wrong and completely confused as to why he just came out and did that), and truthfully, I'm just coming out of it. My guy had an extremely messed up past of being cheated on by girlfriends and having a rough family life growing up. And it's so frustrating, because I (and probably you too) knew that I would never hurt him because I loved him...and he saw that too, but never learned how to move on from his past.

What was your ex's past like? How long ago was his last breakup before you? Have you talked to any of his friends? I really can't tell you what he's going to do, but people who seem to have never moved on from past hurts seem to never really want to change that. I found out too late from his friends that he has always been like this. Is it possible that that is how your guy is? Even if its only been a few days, don't risk your emotional and mental health trying to figure out exactly what went wrong. It is NOT you. As it is early on, I would say talk to him and try to help him to see that you are not someone who would hurt him, but don't push too hard if he is pretty fragile right now (as it seems). On the up-side it is good that he wants to be friends with you. Maybe that is exactly what he needs right now from you. And maybe that is the best way for him to build up trust with you. I honestly would tell him you want to be his friend and help him through his troubles. I don't know if I helped any, but I thought it may be a comfort hearing from someone in a similar situation. Stay strong and don't get too overwhelmed.

(me in a Threesome...I'm in the middle )

Okay that's not very funny.

I'm sorry

I'm just poking around reading these posts, and I'm also in a severed relationship.

I'm still in denial...sort of. I mean, I know she's gone. Usually I deal fine with it, but sometimes I fret about it when it's time to go to bed. I'm on this forum and others like it searching for wisdom. Guess I have a long way to go. Sometimes I just sigh and say, "What's the use of all this?"

I know I won't be calling her. I'm not sure I'd take her back if she came crawling. I'm still pissed at her. Remember ladies, it's okay to be pissed. In case pissed gets sensored I'm saying, " pysst". "PYSST" I tell you!!!

Well find yer peace and move on!

Lone Star

Hello,

SMP03 I sent you a p.m. Thanks for writing...I thought there was something seriously wrong with me!! Lone Star...what happened to you? Why did you and your ex break up. Have you ever been cheated on?

Bye guys!

Howdy Melly 2002.

Your question; Did my ex cheat on me? No. Not that I know of. She just decided to move on. Her excuse was she would be too busy between school and work to have a relationship with me. I think truthfully it was just that we are so different. I'm pretty much over her now, but still get caught up in memories now and again. It's been over a month since i cried over her. I'm taking a break from dating for awhile. I guess I'm tired of the b.s. that comes w/it (relationships). You know, you put up the guard for a few weeks. then you take your guard down because they insist you are the only one they want. thenabout a year or two later, they get tired of the same ol stuff and want to try whatever is on the otherside of the fence. I reckon i'm learnin from all of this.

How's things with ya'll? Moving on yet? Got a new feller yet?

Lemmie know what's up w/ya.

Later.

Lone Star

Hi Lonestar,

To answer your question no I don't have a new "feller" yet! I am also taking a break from dating. I have to see my ex every day at work and it isn't really helping me to get over it! He makes it a point to walk by with some stupid work excuse to talk to me but yet he doesn't want to date me right now and I have asked him to keep his distance. I just ignore him in hopes he will leave me alone so I don't have to want him back anymore!!

I guess you do learn from mistakes but it doesnt make it hurt less.

Talk to you soon I hope!!