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Thread: help URGENT!!! Husband used prostitues before he met me

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002

    help URGENT!!! Husband used prostitues before he met me

    Hi, I have been happily married for 5 years. Last night my husband confided in me that before we met, he used prostitutes on 9 occasions, 4 being sexual intercourse. He says he always used a condom. He told me that it was at a time when he was very lonely and depressed and did not seem to be meeting woman. My reaction has been of shock, disgust, and anger. I am angry that he has put me at risk through all these years by not testing himself for STD's and HIV. I have known this man to be very loyal, caring, loving, supportive, and my soal mate. All I can think of is him performing this unlawful act, I can't get it out of my head. I cannot believe that such a handsome man would pay for illicit sex.
    I am asking for all opinions of how I should react, and if someone has gone through this before themselves. he tells me that from the moment he met me he fell deeply in love with me, and has never wanted ha desire and would never do that again. I know it was before our mariage. but how would you act?

  2. #2
    Member overcorrect's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Oklahoma USA
    Men do stupid things sometimes. This sounds like a whopper! Of course I understand your concerns about HIV and STDs but I think if you haven't been symptomatic for over 5 years you are going to be okay. The question is why is he telling you this now? Did you confront him or did he confide in you. I think the first and foremost course of action is that you both (as scary as it sounds) go get tested. If he in fact did use condoms (which I am a police officer and can vouch that most prostitutes carry condoms with them), then he is probably safe more than not. Even if he didn't the chance of him contracting it even if a woman is positive are very very small (check that out online). He sounds as if he has been very open with the information and that is a tribute to you. Shock, anger, and disgust is very natural. Although you view him as handsome (along with other people probably) there is the fact that sometimes us males don't exactly feel handsome. Sound familiar? He's probably kicking himself in the butt right now for hurting you but it sounds that he felt like he had to tell you. Realize that with him telling you last night that he has probably been thinking a looooooong time about telling you but never got up the nerve. I'm not saying don't be mad, I'm saying get tested and when they come back negative you both move on from there.

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