Devastated by Cheater

Hello everyone, kind of just venting here. I'm a 23 year old male. My ex girl is 20 and we were together for 3 years. I consider myself very good looking and intelligent. My girl was good looking and not so intelligent acting. However I thought we loved eachother. She cheated on me for a 36 year old recovering meth addict, clean only for 3 weeks (not clean) I love her so much that at first I wanted her back. Now I never want to see her again. I still think about her everyday and wish that things could have worked. He has no job, no car, no house, and a kid. Not even close to good looking in my eyes. Been to bars and parties, every girl I see just makes me miss her and they all look like undesirable. I'm just looking to find a girl to settle down with and make a family. Is that to much to ask anymore?

Did her behavior change recently? Is she into drugs? Is this guy her pimp?

She cheated on me for a 36 year old recovering meth addict. He has no job, no car, no house, and a kid.

Sorry you're hurting but try to look at it optimistically. She's a mess and you dodged a bullet. Once you're feeling more indifferent to her and what she's doing, start dating again and you will find a good woman to marry and have children with. Your ex was not the woman you were meant to do that with so even though it doesn't feel like it right now, her no longer in your life is a blessing.

Feel better soon.

Hello everyone, kind of just venting here. I'm a 23 year old male. My ex girl is 20 and we were together for 3 years. I consider myself very good looking and intelligent. My girl was good looking and not so intelligent acting. However I thought we loved eachother. She cheated on me for a 36 year old recovering meth addict, clean only for 3 weeks (not clean) I love her so much that at first I wanted her back. Now I never want to see her again. I still think about her everyday and wish that things could have worked. He has no job, no car, no house, and a kid. Not even close to good looking in my eyes. Been to bars and parties, every girl I see just makes me miss her and they all look like undesirable. I'm just looking to find a girl to settle down with and make a family. Is that to much to ask anymore?

Sorry to hear that you're hurting man, I wouldn't know what that pain feels like in regards to cheating; my ex who I was with for almost 3 years, left me for a guy that was 38 that had more money than me. To this day I don't know if she cheated or not, so, the pain is a little similar I think.

The best advice I can give you, and it sounds extremely cliche, is give it time. Don't be looking for a rebound by talking to other girls to help cope with getting over your ex, because it won't help. It isn't fair on the girl if she likes you. Also, do NOT take her back, she betrayed you, she needs to deal with the repercussions that she screwed up and blew it with you and will now have to deal with this low-life. I can almost guarantee that she will be trying to get back with you one day, but don't fall for that foolishness. NEVER take back a cheater, she cannot be trusted.

Right now, you should be solely focusing on yourself and giving yourself time to heal. Try to pick up a new hobby or something to distract you (go to the gym, get into bowling, make and hangout with new friends etc). Trust me, it will definitely help.

To give you some confidence, when my ex left me for that older guy, I was a mess. I had never loved or trusted anyone as much as I did with her, so when she was no longer in my life, I went through some changes. I became depressed, sad, angry, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had constant heartaches, became antisocial with friends and family, kept thinking about her every minute of every day. Thought to myself that I would never get over it. After a few months though, it got easier.

I realized that I needed to move on, because it was clear that she did. She knew what she was doing, and it was clear that she was happy with her decision. Why should I suffer while she is happy? I know deep down that she probably felt bad and wouldn't have wanted me to suffer either. So what I did was I deleted her number, deleted all our text messages, and I stored all the old love notes, pictures, and things of us in a box and put it in a closet. I taped it up and put it out of the way, so I wouldn't be tempted in looking/reading any of the contents inside. I then joined a gym, started working out like a mad man, went back to school, got a new job, and now, I rarely even think about her if ever. So, it won't be easy at first, but time will definitely heal this wound; it's up to you though if you allow it to do so.

I think it is a lot to ask... to answer your question about settling down and having a family. I understand that may be your ultimate goal but it may not be for everyone and the timing might have been too difficult. You were together for three years. There were likely some signs that she wasn't the one for you. You commented on her intelligence or not acting so intelligent. If there were red flags along the way, those would have been your cue to think things through a bit more carefully. She left you for someone else when you weren't married to her already. That's a silver lining.

You are free now. This is your new lease on life. Go out and make use of your second chance at finding love and live your life the way you want to live it. Celebrate your freedom. This would be a time of rebirth and renewal for you.