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Thread: Crush— paired up at wedding! Fate?

  1. #1
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    Crush— paired up at wedding! Fate?

    I had a crush on this guy in 2016, October through April of that year. I had moved to the town he was going to college (we are the same age) . I’d see him in passing, it was only based on his looks and that friends of friends suggested him to me intially. Our paths didn’t cross, we weren’t in the same social circles (I was working full time he was finishing up a second degree), I watched any of the team games I could. It was a crush. I don’t think he knew I existed.

    He moved to another part of the world that summer.
    In March (before he moved) I had kind of recognized that we weren’t ever going to get to know each other and it was fine that he was gone (end of June).

    Today I attended a wedding rehearsal and who should I see but this guy as one of the groomsmen— who is now standing opposite me! I would never have expected to see him again, let alone at my cousin’s wedding. The couple unknowningly paired me up with him. My cousin doesn’t know about my crush.

    I was so shocked! I did not know he was friends with the groom (I don’t know the groom at all)

    He’s got a girlfriend (I overheard that, I see that as off limits but would figuratively take a number for the future). Tonight I felt like he knew I existed. He was looking at me with cute expression, like when he meets my eye he has a expression that’s boyish and intriguing.

    A weird part of me is thinking maybe this is fate...and of course he’d be as handsome as ever.

    The wedding is tomorrow, what should I do? How do I play this? I’d want a shot with him but wouldn’t ever move in on another girl’s man.

    Advice please!

  2. #2
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    Not fate. Mere coincidence.
    His gf will likely be at the wedding and regardless of if she is or isn’t , if he gave you his number despite having a gf , you should rip it up, not take it!?

    If you are interested in dating , check out the single guys at the wedding and don’t waste your time hanging out with a taken one.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Just know your place, be a nice acquaintance and respect him and his relationship with his girlfriend. This shows your respect for his girlfriend, too. Behave like a lady and behave honorably.

    Imagine your having a boyfriend and a man having eyes on you knowing you have a boyfriend already. How do you wish to be treated? I imagine with respectful distance because your loyalty and close relationship only belongs to your boyfriend just like the groomsman is already spoken for by his girlfriend.

    Back off, exercise discretion, discernment and self control. Carry yourself with grace.

    Enjoy the wedding!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    He was just being friendly and trying to put you at ease knowing you two have to go through this ritual together in front a bunch of people.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Be there for the wedding party and keep reminding yourself that he has a gf and you need to find your own bf.
    Originally Posted by FirstDates

    He’s got a girlfriend

    The wedding is tomorrow, what should I do? How do I play this?

  6. #6
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Not fate. Mere coincidence.
    His gf will likely be at the wedding and regardless of if she is or isn’t , if he gave you his number despite having a gf , you should rip it up, not take it!?

    If you are interested in dating , check out the single guys at the wedding and don’t waste your time hanging out with a taken one.
    Thanks Billie,

    I meant take a number as in queue up or get in line. Wait your turn, not as in a physical phone number 😉

  7. #7
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    Please just enjoy this as a cute story you tell yourself or a trusted friend "can you believe it....??" and understand he is off limits, the end. It's just like being in a play together. I've been in that situation -had a crush on a guy in my college acting class and we had to do a scene -I chose a scene from a Christopher Durang play, Beyond Therapy (adding that in case people know it and know that the scenes are not romantic but complicated enough to warrant lots of rehearsals). I asked him to be in it and another guy and pulled out all the stops - we met at my grandparents' house to rehearse, I had yummy treats ready ,etc. Of course my crush mentioned his girlfriend (long distance at a fancy Ivy League school) during that rehearsal. I'm pretty sure he never knew how I felt and I am glad. I simply enjoyed the acting experience and my little "what if" fantasies that I never acted out. You do the same -same situation other than the coincidence part - play your role and be very, very respectful of his girlfriend meaning no flirting - just be friendly, pleasant, to both of them.

  8. #8
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    Thanks Batya!
    That’s really helpful :)

    I like the play a role bit, I’ll do that.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Just know that there are numerous amounts of people we can have chemistry with, and it's really not anything miraculous. Just take it as face value that you happen to have chemistry with him, from your end anyway, but there are barriers such as him having a girlfriend and being long distance.

    The right guy will be local, be single, and share chemistry with you. If you're having a hard time meeting single guys you're age, try meet up.com.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Don't ever play with a man who already has a girlfriend.

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