Need advice - dating lovely lady might be virgin? How to approach?

Hiya

I've no point of reference for this, so hoping to get some advice.

I've been dating again recently (I'm 40) after a marriage, over a year ago now, and have met this really lovely gentle lady and we seem very much into each other, getting along great and everything feeling right. She stayed over a couple of nights ago, and although it was awesome to spend the night and sleep together, and it didn't bother me at the time - actually I think she might be a virgin. I know this sounds strange, maybe.

I didn't mention it to her at the time because I felt it might become super awkward or hurt her feelings. She said take it slow when I was about to put it in - and of course I was super gentle, but actually I could not get it in at all. This was really surprising, I have never been in this position before and had no idea how to react whatsoever. It sort of ended there and she said sorry and I was just keen to make her feel okay and said it's fine I promise. I just figured at the time she was physically different or something, I don't know. I didn't care because I am really into her. As regards being a virgin, I was until I was in my mid-20s, so being and adult virgin doesn't bother me. It's just the navigational aspect of this.

Then I thought about it the next day, and thought oh hang on, maybe she is a virgin? If she is, then who knows how she felt about it - she didn't say anything and said she's had boyfriends before - the last one was for a few months. However, I'm not abnormally large or anything so I can't see how she could have had sex with anyone before? Maybe she feels really awkward about it, and is not sure how to approach it. I think, so what? - and just want to keep dating because I feel so comfortable with her. But what I don't know ... is she expecting me to say something? With zero reference point for this, I'm wondering what to do. She's in her mid-30s.

To sum up how I feel about her, I don't really mind because I'm getting high on hugs and holding hands right now and honestly that's good enough for me! Some advice would be cool tho. :)

It's possible she has issues with being lubricated enough in order to accommodate you. Women can have these issues from their 30's and up.

It might be that and not a virgin issue at all.

Maybe when you are not in bed and are sitting talking, you can gently bring it up. After all, you are adults and you need to sort out if this is going to be a problem.

I agree with SherrySher. Maybe she wasn't ready, maybe you need to take longer to get her aroused. Maybe she was really nervous as it was the first time with you. Delicate subject to discuss but you may need to summon your courage and talk to her about it.

I had thought of that but otherwise she seemed very aroused and exceptionally lubricated naturally - i.e. I mean she was really (really) wet, basically. This had become apparent through foreplay. That said I am sure she was nervous, I know I was! I get really anxious at times like this with a new partner.

Talking is the only way yes, I agree - thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.