Not sure what to do...

I was with this guy for about 4 years, and it was amazing. We definitely had some issues, with insecurity and intimacy, we kind of burned out in a sense. He finally told me that while he cares about me, he is not "in love" or "having those feelings anymore." And so he broke up with me. It has been about 2 months, and we did the whole NC thing, but recently started talking again. We had this competition and when it ended we started talking again and agreed to meet up over dinner. We met up and had dinner, then went to a field and played soccer and talked about everything. Then we sat down and started talking about deeper things and what had happened. It wound up being really nice to talk to each other and confide in each other and he had mentioned he missed our connection. Unfortunately, I still love him and would love to start over with him as we have such an incredible connection and he really is a great person. He, on the other hand, has changed and is now saying he wants to be alone and when he pictures his future he sees himself alone without any kids, which is a change from 4 years ago when he wanted many kids and loved being in love. He said he can't be with me because he doesn't have those feelings, and while he hooks up with other girls he does it more so to fill a void. He said that he doesn't think there will be another girl out there for him or at least he can't see that right now. The whole time we were crying and holding each other and kissing each other, so it was very emotional. At the end he told me he really wanted to kiss me one last time and did. We are still the most amazing friends, and we acknowledged that we each were the person we wanted to tell things to and be there for each other, and will try to remain that way. That night was bitter sweet as it was amazing to be honest and hold each other, but at the same time I feel even more broken now because I really do feel like he is the greatest love of my life as I have never had this connection or love like this with any other boyfriend. I know most advice would be to just move on and get over it, but I almost want to grow old alone with him. Anyone else experience anything like this or have any advice on how to go forward?

I understand your frustrations as I am in your situation except I'm still in the 2 months of NC. I think you need to move forward with the NC until the day arrives that you realize you are open to new people and this person isn't on such a pedestal in your life any more. Would you rather be constantly pining after someone who is emotionally unavailable and will never reciprocate your feelings, or would you rather be in a relationship with someone else that is full of love and even better than your previous one? You can be friends with this guy, but you aren't doing yourself any favours by keeping him in your life right now. This doesn't mean you can't be friends and can't be in each others lives, but you need to get over him first. It may take many months or even years. Respect yourself! I'm rooting for you.

please don't let him use you as a 'best bud' and security blanket while he is off shagging a bunch of other girls.

He's basically told you he's having a good old time playing the field and that he doesn't love you.

He's trying to spin this in a way that softens the blow of telling you he's not into you anymore other than as a memory or a friend. He'll claim he's not interested in a steady relationship up until that moment he meets another girl he falls in love with, then he's gone without a backward glance.

Please don't waste your life pining for someone who had a perfectly good chance with you then declined it and says he's not in love. Don't martyr yourself pining for what you thought was a great love but doesn't exist because it takes two people to make love great and he'd prefer to shag strangers than shag you. He's just not worth your devotion when he's not devoted to you.

Cut him off and stop fantasizing about him. he just doesn't want you.. I'm sorry but he said that and you're not hearing it.

He said he can't be with me because he doesn't have those feelings, and while he hooks up with other girls he does it more so to fill a void. He said that he doesn't think there will be another girl out there for him or at least he can't see that right now.

This academy award winning speech translates to, "I'm done, and I'm shopping around for a better deal." I'm sorry this happened and I wouldn't expect you to see this now, but in the long term you dodged a bullet.