I really need help...

Right now, I'm suffering pretty badly. I was in a short relationship (3 months) that ended back in January. I really liked the guy and it's been almost 6 months and I'm still not over him. I think the fact that we lasted so little time just adds to my hurt, I wanted more time with him. I thought we were both in love, but it turned out that I loved alone. I tried desperately to get him back for the 3 months following our breakup, all the while also trying to keep some of myself a mystery but I just ended up pushing him away. The more I tried to talk to him, the more he pulled away. Now, he wants nothing to do with me and has blocked me everywhere.

I found out that he is in a new relationship... posting pictures online, saying I love you's and he's even thinking of proposing to her... after only being together for a couple of months. When he was with me he also talked about marriage, love, about proposing... and I feel like this new girl has completely replaced me.

My biggest problem though, is that despite every reason to move on, every fact showing me that this person does not have any feelings for me whatsoever, I still hold on. I still have this hope that he is going to see the light, that they will soon break up, and that he will reach out to me again. Because, how can two people who claimed to love each other end things on such a bad note? How can he live with himself knowing that he promised me the world, only to then treat me like I'm nothing and walk out of my life forever - block me and leave me hurt? I keep thinking that this can't be the ending to something I was so happy about, to something that I felt was answer to my prayers.

I'm so hurt, I dream about him every night and I think about him all the time, it's constant reminder that he is no longer here. And worse, I can't seem to keep myself from looking for him on social media and snooping on their relationship. It's like I'm a masochist. And although I know that I need to stop, I know I need to let go, to move on... I dont know how. I can give people the perfect advice on this, but I cant seem to follow it myself.

Please, how does a person truly move on from someone they hope will come back? Someone they really love and want in their life? I've been praying for a solution, but I just dont know what else to do, where to get the courage to surrender to my circumstances and accept defeat. It's like a constant battle in my mind of having hope and then knowing that there is no solution to this, our relationship is gone.

First of all, three months is just not long enough for the level of commitment he was promising you. The man future faked - told you what you wanted to hear to get what he wanted in the moment. I know that is a painful thought, and you're probably wondering why someone would be so horrible, but it's more common than you think. Three months is hardly long enough to even know if you love someone, let alone if you want to spend the rest of your life with them! He fast forwarded you through the "getting to know each other" stage and feigned intimacy through intensity. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but the first step to getting over the situation is to admit that this man never actually intended to follow through on any of the promises he made. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. He's just a person of questionable character. The fact that he is now making exactly the same promises to another woman after such a short period of time should tell you that I speak the truth, Fabi. Try to face reality and realize that by watching him put another woman through the same pain, you are setting back your own healing.

Typically, when the time it takes you to heal far outweighs the length of your involvement with a person, it is because you were too busy fantasizing in your head about the potential rather than actually participating in the present moment. Don't frame letting go of a toxic person as "surrender". Letting go is a sign of strength, because he has shown you that he does not want the same relationship that you want. Please, go full no contact and get him off your social media ASAP. The healing will begin when you stop making your life all about him and start focusing on how to make yourself happy.

It's because you love so much, that it's hard to move on. Keep taking care of yourself, your priorities, and put one foot in front of the other. You will be ok, it will take time, but you will! I completely understand, it's hard to understand how people can leave you behind so easily, but it happens. This loss is just opening a new spot for something better. Hang in there and take care of you, do things that make you feel good.

And avoid the social media snooping, it's only perpetuating the hurt. It will take longer to get over if you keep reopening the wound. Take care, hope you are ok! :-)

Hang in there Fabi83.

If it helps at all, I was in a very similar situation with someone I met. 2.5 month relationship, she seemed to be really into me but we agreed to take it slowly. She started to go quiet in December and then on the 29th, I had to ask her if she still liked me....only as a friend.

5 months in, I have my moments, even recently I found myself getting upset, but generally I'm trying to focus on me and make myself into the best version of 'me' that I can be. Thankfully I initiated NC from the new year which certainly helped me....and she's never been in touch thankfully.

I did read that it can feel very difficult when a short relationship finishes, because you are still in that love struck period when all your endorphins are going mad.

This site has been immense help, so whenever you feel down or low, post here as there are always people to listen.

You are never alone.

How sad, Fabi83. I've had that happen to me as well, and what can one do except allow time to heal wounds.

Just a different thought from everyone else's: I don't agree that three months is a short time to see if you love someone. I think that, "love at first sight" can actually happen. There are some connections that are made, even if they are one-sided.

I can promise you it will all become clear in the end.

I too was in a relationship for 2.5 months and I adored this person to the end of the world and back, but was broken up with. I pined over this person for aaaages, after our "friendship" failed I went NC and blocked this person on everything with a view to move on. I wholeheartedly understand the comment of wanting more time. I really wanted a future with this person.

He came back after approx 30/35 days NC. We were back together this time for three months. This time, I had grown a lot of independence and was a lot more cautious. I saw many red flags along the way and now he is gone again, I don't want him back. I'm ready to move on.

I don't know if it will but I hope my story gives you a little support. I wish I hadn't pined over him and tried again, because I spent another 6 months of my life unhappy and I saw what I was too blinded to see first time around. People will tell you to get over it because it was a short relationship, but I understand it is not that simple. I have to say by the end of my NC (when he came back) I did actually feel like I was getting over him, so it will happen eventually.

All the best :)