Are we done? Lost trust....

Ok so I don't know what to do. Me and my fiancée (together 5 years, 2 kids) have always had an amazing relationship. About two months ago she had a "midlife" crisis (she is 35) nothing to crazy but she had like a panic attack and started saying things like she hates her life and she is stuck in her job and paying bills and dealing with kids......in this time she also told me if we separated she would be upset but "would get over it". Since then things have gotten a little better between us and her crisis has past. The problem is all the sudden she locked her phone with a password I can't have, she changed her FB password and won't give it to me. She is on FB nearly ALL DAY. No matter where we are what we do she is on FB. She says she is just scrolling thru post and don't comment but she is always typing. I asked her about the passwords because at the beginning of our relationship she made it clear that if I have nothing to hide then I would give her all that info, so I did because I have nothing to hide. Now she says we have been together long enough to trust each other. The other day she left her phone downstairs and I picked it up before it locked. She had messages from a few different guys but as far as I could tell the convo was not sexual in nature except that it had been recently deleted? A few days later the same thing happened and all the previous convos were deleted. Only for these guys however not for any of her other messages. Is she cheating on me?

I'd say there's a really good chance she's cheating on you or planning to do so.

My ex did the same thing, started to use her phone in bed late at night when i was in different room, she created a facebook account which i wasn't even aware of, deleted incoming and outgoing calls from her phone. I also caught her lying to me about where she was, said she was stuck in traffic but i saw her on the GPS that she was in a coffee shop. She started to spend more time in laundry room downstairs and gym room always with her phone. These were all red flags. I waited too long to confront her and make her spill the beans and be honest.

When i was getting closer and closer of catching her she ended the relationship calling me jealous and insecure and wanted to keep be as plan B, saying we could see each other once a week but not at her house. That's when i was certain she had somebody else and did not want to be seen with 2 different guys by neighbors.

I have stopped speaking to her after breakup, it's been 3 months now of no contact. She threw away 5 years in a few minutes. She told a family member she was expecting my call, but never she was able to call me, she must be ashamed or guilty for what she did.

Be careful with excuses like: new career, or midlife crisis or bored, all excuses that they want out because they are selfish and act with emotions and not logic. good luck!

My ex did the same thing, started to use her phone in bed late at night when i was in different room, she created a facebook account which i wasn't even aware of, deleted incoming and outgoing calls from her phone. I also caught her lying to me about where she was, said she was stuck in traffic but i saw her on the GPS that she was in a coffee shop. She started to spend more time in laundry room downstairs and gym room always with her phone. These were all red flags. I waited too long to confront her and make her spill the beans and be honest.

When i was getting closer and closer of catching her she ended the relationship calling me jealous and insecure and wanted to keep be as plan B, saying we could see each other once a week but not at her house. That's when i was certain she had somebody else and did not want to be seen with 2 different guys by neighbors.

I have stopped speaking to her after breakup, it's been 3 months now of no contact. She threw away 5 years in a few minutes. She told a family member she was expecting my call, but never she was able to call me, she must be ashamed or guilty for what she did.

 

Be careful with excuses like: new career, or midlife crisis or bored, all excuses that they want out because they are selfish and act with emotions and not logic. good luck!

So sorry to hear. Did you eve find out if she had another person in her life? I want to confront her so badly but I know she is going to lie.....I know it's going to start a huge fight. I do t know what I am going to do to be honest......I'm tired of feeling sick to my stomach all the time! We both work and don't have a lot of money so if it ends up that we split idk how we'd even survive? So much on my mind....thanks for the input!

No i never found out if she has someone else, honestly i don't care anymore and i don't want to know. Like you said she will probably end up lying and it will cause a huge fight. I just keep doing no contact and i walked away without looking back and if she wants me back she knows how to reach me, but as time goes by the window of reconciliation will eventually close because there is no guarantee that our feelings will be the same for each other. i will let you know if anything develops. I can give you a reading advice, search Corey Wayne on google and download his free book and watch his videos on youtube. He has good advice about situations like the one you are in. Good Luck drowning4242

Tough situation to be in. Been there myself. Leave ASAP and never turn back.

I have no passwords on anything. My girlfriend does but has made a point of showing me what they are.

Deleted conversations arent good and talking to random guys in general isnt good.

She is at least emotionally cheating but Id say much more than that. I think you know it too.

I think she's lonely. She may not be cheating but certainly looking for advice. I would try to see if you can get her back by devoting more time with her and talking. She sounds like she's really in a mid life crisis and needs you to help her.