Suffering from anxiety & depression. Too afraid to find a job. Help!

A little history: Off and on in my life I'd go through bouts of anxiety which would wear me down into a deep depression.

I was miserable at the job I had so despite my anxiety in 2008 I shut it down and went to a technical trade school. Got the highest grades.

The field I'm in is real particular about wanting techs to have five years minimum experience out of school, so I was lucky to get hired by a company to get my experience but they only give me a few hours a week. The anxiety and depression gradually went away as I got comfortable there.

Now that I have my five years experience I started to look for a job with another company where I'd get 40 hours a week and better pay.

This has triggered a massive relapse of anxiety and depression. I can't sleep and have lost a ton of weight because I have no appetite. I'm afraid to work for another company in full capacity. A bunch of fears are flooding through me.

I'm afraid of what they might expect me to know in my field that my current employer didn't expect me to know. I'm afraid of being "trapped" for 8 hours a day. Heck, I'm even afraid of not being able to find a bathroom thanks to my nervous stomach (as a technician I'm on the road around town in a van).

These aren't simple fears. They consume me. I obsess about them. I dwell on them. The what if thinking thing won't stop in my head, so I've stopped looking for another company to work for until I can pull myself together.

I'm currently living rent free with an elderly family member. If something happens to this person I'll be homeless because at my current job I'm lucky to get ten hours a week. This creates more anxiety and consumes me more.

I'm a nervous wreck. I need to get my career (and thus life) going but I'm so filled with fear, anxiety, and depression that I'm paralyzed.

Managed to scrape up the money to see a doctor one time and he's trying me on 50mg of Seroquel at night to help me sleep. It's supposed to help with anxiety and depression too but from what I've read that only works in higher doses? I can't afford to see a psychiatrist or counselor for further help. Do free ones exist in Cleveland Ohio for those living at poverty level like me?

I need help for sure but just don't know where to find it? Any other advice welcome. I'm so scared if I don't get my head straight I'll be homeless should this elderly family member pass away. I have nowhere else to go.

Surely there are helplines OP where you can enquire regarding accessing some therapy free of charge?

This overwhelming anxiety will eventually drive you to the A&E of a hospital if not addressed soon.

Here you are:

You could phone around and someone there may be able to signpost you to pro bono therapy....

I feel sorry for you. I've suffered with anxiety on and off although I'm not sure if it's to the same extent as you. A new job is often a trigger for me, mostly because I have a fear of failing and not being good enough!! I don't have any magic pills or words of wisdom that will help sadly. All I'd suggest is taking up meditation and also working hard on positive affirmations. Good luck