Shyness a real problem

Hello,

I'm only 16 years old and a teenage girl. I actually really feel like I am different when it comes to be with a group of people I don't know personally. I've always been shy, since I was little. Whereas I've never had any problems in making friends. Recently I went on a school trip with people that I didn't really know. I was staying with those girls but most of the time they were talking to the whole group of the class. I followed them all the time but I was almost unable to speak with all those people. Sometimes I wanted to say things but I was too scared in front of everyone. Through the years this problem have grown more and more and I really wanna stop that. I really have this feeling that I'm missing something and so I can't have fun like other people. Actually I prefer when people come to me, but well most of them don't. I can't show the real me. I've tried many times but it's like if my brain stops me from being me. I'm not the same with my friends and the people I don't know yet. But I wish I could because I know people would maybe like me as when I'm with my friends.

I don't know if my text was clear enough to explain this.

Do you have any tips for not being shy?

Thank you

Hey Lisa

I have a few years on you but I've been there too, I understand how you're feeling.

My advice would be to not worry about people too much right now, but to find activities involving self expression (dancing, singing, painting, sport - whatever takes your fancy) and focus on stretching yourself just a little bit at a time and focus on developing a sense of being comfortable in yourself, around other people. This will get easier the more you focus on yourself and how you feel.

When we're shy we don't feel very safe around other people, so what you want to do is to develop more confidence in your own self expression and your sense of self - that's real self confidence, and the people who will be good for you will then be attracted to your energy and you should naturally get on with them - rather than be around people who may take advantage of your lack of self confidence and feelings of not being safe to be yourself (that usually attracts people who aren't too good for you).

So, focus on doing things that make you feel excited and optimistic - avoid anything that makes you feel fearful or closed in and you'll get there.

Hope that's helped.