Where to go from here

One 16year marriage over. One 4 year relationship over. Tired of trying to make people happy time to be on my own

Yes.. and it is okay to do that... sometimes it's what we need.

No need to feel you should run out n get involved again. Acceptance and healing takes time.

It's hard on you mentally and emotionally.. especially long term ones.

Take a good year at least, on your own to sort your emotions out and work on getting back to good.

Yes.. and it is okay to do that... sometimes it's what we need.

 

No need to feel you should run out n get involved again. Acceptance and healing takes time.

It's hard on you mentally and emotionally.. especially long term ones.

 

Take a good year at least, on your own to sort your emotions out and work on getting back to good.

My four year relationship is just ending. We where engaged but thing are not working for her she has goals that I can't provide in the near future. And I realize. I am tired of it. She is working on moving out. And I think it is for the best. I do think you are right I do need time off to find myself and maybe do some traveling just to get away.

Yes.. if you're wanting to travel. Might be an idea.

I am sorry this isn't working out for you two It is sad to raelize when you're not so compatible.

I've been thru a few different kinds of relationships.

One was an alcy

One was a mental case

One cheated after 5 yrs

One wandered after 6 months

One lead me on for about a year.. was going nowhere and i obviously didnt mean that much to him he never fought for me in the end.. instead kept my in tune even with the fact he had a date that night... * sigh*.

Life can be so brutal on us...

But. it is life and life is an experience, for sure! Can be harder even, nowadays.

But.. do consider some down time for yourself. Wil do you some good.

Yes.. if you're wanting to travel. Might be an idea.

I am sorry this isn't working out for you two It is sad to raelize when you're not so compatible.

 

I've been thru a few different kinds of relationships.

One was an alcy

One was a mental case

One cheated after 5 yrs

One wandered after 6 months

One lead me on for about a year.. was going nowhere and i obviously didnt mean that much to him he never fought for me in the end.. instead kept my in tune even with the fact he had a date that night... * sigh*.

 

Life can be so brutal on us...

 

But. it is life and life is an experience, for sure! Can be harder even, nowadays.

 

But.. do consider some down time for yourself. Wil do you some good.

I am sorry things have been rough on you.

And your exes are jerks are you on your own. And

Taking time for yourself.

My 1st was a teacher and her career was more important that her husband and two kids. She spent sometimes close to 70 hours a week and work a lot during the summer at school. She is the only teacher I know that spend that kind of time on her job

My 2nd was a country girl and I from the city though it was going to work but since her stomach surgery and weight loss her goals are more important and that's fine. I wish her well.

I am going to take your advice though and take at least a year or more off of relationships after she moves out.

Yes.. am on my own. Have spent much time raising my boys on my own with my parents help.. thnk god for them

Well.. we try is all.

We all need to be in the right frame of mind to have a relationship succeed and yes, compatibility is there as well.

R: relationships happening in our lives.. its more than just an occasional visit.. sex, etc and sadly many are NOT up to it.. ready, etc. Or just dont know how.

Yes.. am on my own. Have spent much time raising my boys on my own with my parents help.. thnk god for them

 

Well.. we try is all.

 

We all need to be in the right frame of mind to have a relationship succeed and yes, compatibility is there as well.

 

R: relationships happening in our lives.. its more than just an occasional visit.. sex, etc and sadly many are NOT up to it.. ready, etc. Or just dont know how.

I am glad you have your boys I bet they are the love of you life.

I agree with you on relationships they can't be one sided.

Yes.. they have kept me going

Exactly.... it takes TWO. If they are not showing interest, trying.. etc. Then it is very hard to keep it going.

Interest needs to come from both.

so, it could be a while before you manage to gt into something good enough for you. But dont feel rushed. It's best anyways to just do for YOU now.

Someone out there, someday may meet you and you feel you click in a good way....someday.

Yes.. they have kept me going

 

Exactly.... it takes TWO. If they are not showing interest, trying.. etc. Then it is very hard to keep it going.

Interest needs to come from both.

 

so, it could be a while before you manage to gt into something good enough for you. But dont feel rushed. It's best anyways to just do for YOU now.

 

Someone out there, someday may meet you and you feel you click in a good way....someday.

Some day is right but not now in time.

Just ended a three year engagement two months ago as well, and it isn't easy. Definitely try sticking to being on your own for awhile and do whatever you can to grieve and heal. Punch or scream into a pillow, it really helps.

Sometimes when we love a person so much, they usually aren't the ones we are meant to be with in the end. It sucks... but in a way, it is a blessing and lesson in one. At the end of the day, we are really all we have. It is usually our job to find happiness and joy within ourselves. Our SO is just an addition to our happiness but its not their responsibility to fill a void.

Keep your head up; eventually you will find the person you're truly meant to be with, but for now, enjoy the time to yourself. Travel, try new foods, hobbies, and catch up on family and friends. Take this phase as a journey to finding yourself again.

Just ended a three year engagement two months ago as well, and it isn't easy. Definitely try sticking to being on your own for awhile and do whatever you can to grieve and heal. Punch or scream into a pillow, it really helps.

 

Sometimes when we love a person so much, they usually aren't the ones we are meant to be with in the end. It sucks... but in a way, it is a blessing and lesson in one. At the end of the day, we are really all we have. It is usually our job to find happiness and joy within ourselves. Our SO is just an addition to our happiness but its not their responsibility to fill a void.

 

Keep your head up; eventually you will find the person you're truly meant to be with, but for now, enjoy the time to yourself. Travel, try new foods, hobbies, and catch up on family and friends. Take this phase as a journey to finding yourself again.

Good advice.

I am going to take some time for myself.

And after that time maybe I will find someone that will appreciate me for being me. But for right now I am going to work on me first by taking my house back and making it mine again. And then work on my health and happiness.