Hard time coping

Hi guys,

NC Day 4

I'm writing on here because I'm having a really hard time coping. Even though we weren't even in a relationship, the amount of feelings and hope I developed in the last 7 months certainly felt like it. We spend 3-4 days a week together and talking pretty much every night. The amount of time with his person is definitely not less significant than someone I would be in a relationship with.

Few days ago we met up after work and walked around the beach. We got a little close and he revealed that he had feelings for me "more than friends" on a number of occasion we've hung out. He stated other nice things that he was attracted to me and enjoyed my company. We ended up making out. I was so high and excited because it was something I was dying to hear from this cute boy for 7 months. After the heated session, he told me at the end that he does not think we're able to make it long term because of our age gap. I was crushed and devastated.

I'm not going to lie. Despite the age gap, there was always a part of me that wanted to be with him. I just couldn't help it. It's not rational but it was how I felt. I've been feeling either really depressed or angry about what happened. Some days I get so angry at what he did and other times I wish he realized his feelings for me were great enough to want to give me a chance, even though he thinks it "won't work out in the long term".

After so many failed relationship you can't help but to have almost no self esteem left. Why am i not valuable for someone to want to be with me? I am a few years away from 30 and I just feel so hopeless that there is no one out there for me. My heart goes out to all of those who have been rejected, dumped and in deep pain.

What did he do?

I get so angry at what he did and other times I wish he realized his feelings for me were great enough to want to give me a chance, even though he thinks it "won't work out in the long term".

Hello, I don't know your full situation but I do feel your pain as far as having a hard time coping goes. It's day 3 NC for me. And just like you mentioned, we weren't an official couple but being together couldn't have made us any closer. He is not the type of guy that i usually go for and that is really causing problems as it is hard for him to get his life in order and it's putting a strain on him and I. But I hope you get through this tough time I know all too well how hard it is. It seems like every minute that goes by I am thinking of him. But this will only make us stronger. I wish you the best of luck in getting your life back and moving forward with someone who deserves your love!!!! Pick your head up, you will be just fine!!