Not suicidal but all of my best friends are...

Today my best friends boyfriend texted me telling me that she was in the hospital and od-ed. She's okay. I feel isolated from her sometimes because she likes on campus at a different college than me but that doesn't hinder our friendship. She only briefly mentioned suicide years ago but I was completely blindsided after hearing this news.

However my other friend who also has a mental disorder has, attepted multiple suicides. I usually not aware of it until she has already been admit into a hospital for about 1-2 days. I'm starting to feel like I'm a pretty awful friend if I can't even detect any issues that my friends are hiding for me or they don't feel comfortable enough talking to me about getting help. I love them so much but I can only do so much if they don't talk to me.

Part of depression is shame at feeling the way they do. That shame prevents people from saying anything and really makes them kind of savants at hiding it.

Not knowing beforehand is not a reflection on you.

You can't read the minds of others. You can be observant and caring but people with issues can be very good at hiding their problems from just about everyone. This doesnt make you a bad person.