'And the award for the most naive and infatuated guy goes too; JTP1994!'

Hello everyone.

As always, it's a negative one again. I'm an idiot.

So as some of you may or may not know I got into a relationship (maybe a little fast, depending on what angle you look at it) with a girl that I used to be really close to when I was about 12-13. We dated for about 4 weeks, and then I asked her out and we got together.

Then, I slept up her house this past Monday, and ever since it's just gone to the fan. Everything has just been on. I will give you a brief summary now to sum it up and you guys can give me your opinions.

I stayed up hers on Monday and like her dog stays in the bed with her like right up the top and hugs with her and gets under the quilt and I told her I don't like this very much and I was just in a bit of a mood. I couldn't shake it at all. And just ever since she has been pretty quiet and distant from me... I asked her if anything was up and she said it just didn't feel right since Monday etc. And that she wanted to see if she actually wanted it. Then she says that she realises she doesn't want anyone and gives it that old chestnut. And that she isn't ready for a relationship blah blah just excuses. And then idk I was calling her a lot on Friday night, with no reply at all, nor did she answer the phone. I think I've just f***ed it.

She just said it doesn't feel the same as it did before Monday for her. I don't see why she would want to end it. Could very well be just an over reaction.. Still a legit one, but an overreaction all the same.

Secondly, she said it reminded her of why she doesn't/didn't want a relationship. I haven't text her since yesterday and even then I didn't get any reply so I've left it. Should I give her a bit of space and if I'm wanted? I guess she'll text me.

Do you know how it feels to try and tell people that I was close to loving a girl after like a month of dating? Or at least that's how it felt anyway.

I have a final question; I bought her stuff for Christmas. Me being the nice guy that I am, believing this relationship would probably last, bought her gifts. I was thinking of going to her house (when she's in work hours, so I can avoid her) and just dropping it off. Along with a t-shirt that she left at mine. Is this wise? Creepy? Or just down right dumb in terms of either wanting her back/get over her? I know all about NC guys so don't explain to me why it works. If you tell me to do it then, I will. But I just wanna see if there's any other route.

TL;DR:

Broke up with girlfriend over silly reason.

I felt I was in love with her.

Got drunk on Friday (AFTER she broke up with me on text, I was already out at this time, I don't drink to drown my sorrows)

Called her phone A LOT of times. No response. Left voice message and I'm guessing I left texts etc. I was out of it.

Tried speaking to her via' text, no response apart from " do you want me to say?" So I said "I know you have work now but if you wanna chat later let me know please."

Bit lost so any tips are accepted. Thank you!

Don't give her the presents ... just don't

I wonder if she has had the dog problem before and this is why she said it had reminded of her why she wants to be single .

or I wonder if she realised she didn't have a connection with you .

it takes so much more to be in love , I put it to you that you where just in the throws of that first inital joy and attraction .

The best thing you can do is just walk on forward ...sorry to say .

ps ....I did chuckle at the title of your thread

Don't give her the presents ... just don't

 

 

I wonder if she has had the dog problem before and this is why she said it had reminded of her why she wants to be single .

 

or I wonder if she realised she didn't have a connection with you .

 

it takes so much more to be in love , I put it to you that you where just in the throws of that first inital joy and attraction .

 

The best thing you can do is just walk on forward ...sorry to say .

Hmm I guess if I didn't mean that much then it makes sense why it's so easy for her to break it off.

I was thinking that she meant more along the lines of she just didn't want to compromise anything? Maybe? I thought that would make sense because she has been single for a year or so.

And by give her the presents, I mean literally take them to hers and just leave. I don't wanna keep them here. Same as her t-shirt, I don't wanna keep that here either.

Should I block her on everything now, too?

Get a refund on the presents and set fire to the t-shirt.

Take yourself out of the situation and read over your message with a logical mindset.

You were still getting to know the girl and what she was like. If she puts her dog before you and doesn't want to compromise then it was never going to work.

For her to end it over this small matter screams to me that she was never really that interested in you anyway and that your better off without them.

Yes you've acted out which isn't great but forgive yourself and begin to move on with your life. Put it down to a bad experience and think to yourself why did i act this way. What were the signs.

Learn, grow and move forward. Luckily for you, you weren't too heavily invested due to time frames.

N yea block her it isn't about her any more. It's about you.

yes that is what I kinda meant as well ...the compromise being the dog in bed and that she isn't prepared to make it.

Leaving her the presents really will just kind of make you look a little sad ..and wont be received in the way you are giving them .

I am not trying to hurt your feelings ...but ...switch teams here ..imagine you have decided not to pursue something with a girl and you tell her , then she gives you gifts for christmas ... its a bit icky honestly . Keep your pride fella .

Thanks both.

I appreciate it.

I didn't act out btw CraigHowes , it was simply a slight mood. That was all, but I see where you're coming from.

I'll delete everything now.

(should I trya merry christmas on Xmas day though? Or just leave it?)

There is nothing to be gained by sending a Merry Christmas message to her. I know it's hard but you have to sum up all of your will and let it go so you can grow and move forward with your life.

There is nothing to be gained by sending a Merry Christmas message to her. I know it's hard but you have to sum up all of your will and let it go so you can grow and move forward with your life.

I'm just such a naive, loving guy. It kills me when I find someone I find worth being with and this happens. I've been single for some time because I just wont settle for a girl just to say I have a girlfriend or anything so when it comes along, it wrecks me. Too attached.

Thank you, Craig.

Thanks both.

 

I appreciate it.

 

I didn't act out btw CraigHowes , it was simply a slight mood. That was all, but I see where you're coming from.

 

I'll delete everything now.

 

(should I trya merry christmas on Xmas day though? Or just leave it?)

no darling ....just keep walking

If someone I was dating sent me a freaking text breaking up with me, I'd try to call them too. That's ridiculous.

I can see from your post that you have a great sense of humor, and it sounds like you aren't afraid to speak up and ask for what you want in a relationship. I think those qualities will serve you well in future relationships. I agree with what the others said about the gifts; return them or give them to someone else, and just throw the T-shirt away. A person who would not even entertain a discussion with her significant human about her significant animal, who would react that way, and then break up with you in a text message, does not deserve to get her T-shirt back.

Keep your head up man, you can do better. >

If someone I was dating sent me a freaking text breaking up with me, I'd try to call them too. That's ridiculous.

 

I can see from your post that you have a great sense of humor, and it sounds like you aren't afraid to speak up and ask for what you want in a relationship. I think those qualities will serve you well in future relationships. I agree with what the others said about the gifts; return them or give them to someone else, and just throw the T-shirt away. A person who would not even entertain a discussion with her significant human about her significant animal, who would react that way, and then break up with you in a text message, does not deserve to get her T-shirt back.

 

Keep your head up man, you can do better. >

Thank you dear. That was sweet to read and made me feel a lot better.

Thanks!!

Can't believe it was over text. It's the only girl I've been crazy for in years!!!