Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Dating a Spaniard

  1. #1
    Juxtapoz
    Silver Member Juxtapoz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    303
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1

    Dating a Spaniard

    I'm thrilled and happy to have a Spanish boyfriend. He's amazing. The real challenge, however, has been trying to learn his language. He doesn't speak English and I'm at pre-intermediate level Spanish. But so far we're getting along.

    I come from a very small, non-traditional family in the States, so unlike the normal Spanish family. When I date someone, my mother usually meets them in the very beginning, because we're close and I like to know her opinions on the men I choose to date. However, you don't "meet the parents" in Spain until after a considerable amount of time, and it's a pretty big deal.

    Here in Spain, I'm in no rush to meet my beau's parents, considering I'm not confident enough with my Spanish to try and win them over with my wit.

    I'm curious if any of you have dated a Spanish guy (or girl). As a foreigner, what was it like? Some people warn me that when you marry a Spaniard, you marry the family too, and sometimes they can make things really complicated. I'm not especially worried about that right now, but it is nice to hear others' perspectives. And, how long is it usually until he "presents you" to his family? Is that when he officially addresses you as his "novia" to the world and not just to you behind closed doors?

    I'm ridiculously happy with the man I have and I want to have him for a very, very long time. Sometimes the culture barriers present challenges, but I'm in it to win it.

  2. #2
    sidehop
    Platinum Member sidehop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Age
    38
    Posts
    6,879
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    They are very family oriented people. I believe many Hispanic families are the same way as I've dated a Puerto Rican woman before. I don't think things were complicated, I remember being welcomed like as if I was part of their family even though I was nowhere close to their cultural background.

    As far as getting introduced, it may be when you two are in a serious stage of a relationship?

  3. #3
    winchester3
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    ON, CA
    Age
    28
    Posts
    706
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    I was dating a girl from Colombia, spanish speaking and had very deep roots. She was saying that when we started dating i didn't just get her, she was a package deal her family came with her. Her entire family spoke english, her dad had a bit of trouble with it tho. My spanish is very poor but after a while i could understand the general topic of conversations, no details tho. Was a great culture to get to know, no regrets ever dating her. Same thing as sidehop said, they took me in like a part of the family.

  4. #4
    mumto2
    Member mumto2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    South East UK
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Female
    I tell you what, you'll gain respect from his family for trying your best to speak their language, no matter how much Spanish you know. They'll see what you value by your efforts and that'll go a long way. And they'll be willing to help you speak too. Most foreign speaking countries tend to be that way inclined. It's a shame we aren't so positive responding like that when its the other way round (well, here in the UK anyway)

    I lived in Greece for a few years and I found people much more friendly to me when I tried to speak Greek. And I learned fast too.

    Lots of luck xxx

  5. #5
    Shortpants

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Out in the Puckerbrush, VT
    Posts
    556
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2
    I married into a Nicaraguan family, and was honestly suprized at how they accepted me immediately. I took 4 years of Spanish in High School, so I could understand bits and pieces of conversations (they speak strictly Spanish in their house), but didn't speak much myself as I was (and still am) wary of sounding too "gringo". LOL I now speak more Spanish when we are visiting, but if I don't know the Spanish word, I'll just use the English, and I find they are just glad I am trying. They are also thrilled that we are planning on raising our daughter to be Bilingual as well.
    Our cultures do differ in some ways, but all in all the basic philosophies are the same. It's been 4 years and I definitely feel like I am one of the family. Even my first visit to meet them (stayed for a week during Thanksgiving), they were treating me like part of the family. They even got me up at 4 AM on Black Friday to go to Walmart for a good deal on a LCD TV! haha Honestly, I think I was more worried about it than anything!
    Just relax and be yourself when you do meet the family and you will be just fine. Best of luck!

  6. #6
    Hermes
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    5,517
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2809
    Hello Juxtapose:

    Nice to ready your happy and upbeat post. I do hope your relationship goes well, and why not!
    Just to remember that Spaniards are Europeans (so there is a difference in outlook from people called "Hispanics" in the U.S.)
    I am Irish, but lived most of my adult life in Spain, living with, working with and for Spanish people. Yes, I already spoke, wrote and read Spanish before I even went there (school and subsequently college). The Spanish (rather like us Irish) are family orientated, no bad thing in this increasingly impersonal world. Again some Spanish people are more family orientated than others, I noticed.
    I know many Europeans - men and women from other European countries - who married Spaniards, (some members of my own family are married to Spaniards), but I do not know of an American-Spanish combinations, so cannot give you an opinion there. There is a big difference between the way Europeans think and approach things, and the way Americans do.
    As your relationship progresses differences may arise or become clearer, but it is up to both of you to surmount these. Good will can go a long way in overcoming almost anything.

    All the best
    Hermes

  7. #7
    quirky
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    4,982
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    87
    I'm the on other side of mumto2!
    I am Greek but lived in the UK for 9 years. Everyone at first thought I was spanish because we are quite similar (the accent as well). With Spanish people I felt like they were Greek. So judging from that the family bonds are very important to the culture and yes you don't introduce the partner very soon.

    Some people warn me that when you marry a Spaniard, you marry the family too, and sometimes they can make things really complicated.
    I won't lie, it's important for him that the family will like you. Since most families are really close it means they'll be doing lots of things together, he won't be seeing them once a year. If you are warm and make an effort with the language I can't see any problems. Some of my partners (all foreigners) have found my family's crazy loud vibe a bit too much to start with and I have found their families cold and distant. But it all gets easier and better when you get to know each other's families more.

  8.  

Top Threads
BF's family visiting and staying with us... in our tiny apartment. HELP!
So... my boyfriend of 2 years told me his parents are visiting in October. They live in Europe so visiting means they are coming for 3 weeks! I've
Is my Boyfriend secretly in love with his best friend?
Hi there, I have a boyfriend now of two years. He has a best friend who is a female who has been openly in love with him for a while now, prior to
Pregnant and heartbroken ..
My life is in turmoil right now. After realizing I was two weeks late I tested positive. It was 100% unplanned and usually he pulls out but didn't
My foreign boyfriend is starting to get to me
Hello, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. When I first met him, I thought the foreign language was sexy, until it became a huge
Should I be concerned about my GF and her friday night "business" meetings?
I am wondering what to think here. Without going into many details, I'm dating a girl I used to date years ago. She was unfaithful then. We did not
I'm so torn and tortured by this relationship
Dated bf over 4 years after losing my husband of 27 years. I was a mess the first 2 years dating bf but he pulled me through it and I knew him for 25
My boyfriend likes the thought of sharing me.
My boyfriend likes the thought of sharing me sexually to another man. We are both young, I feel like this isn't normal to think these thoughts in a

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •