Getting anxious when he doesn't reply to my texts

So this is something I've started to notice more recently. When my bf and I are apart (work, vacation, etc) we often text each other. More often than not we'll carry out decent conversations with only the occasional pause where one of us needs to break away from the phone for whatever reason. I'm very understanding when he's slow to reply, especially at work, because I understand texting isn't his priority.

However, he's on vacation out of state right now with his family, and we've been texting back and forth. We were having a discussion earlier, I was asking him about the kind of stuff I should pick up for my dorm room, and we texted for a good while until he abruptly stopped. It wasn't as if the conversation petered out (I had just asked him a question, he never answered) and he didn't say anything about needing to leave the phone (he usually will send me a quick message saying he's got other things to do, ttyl). I left it for an hour and then sent him a text saying he'd gotten quiet, in case maybe he'd gotten caught up in things and forgotten to reply. But, after another hour, still no response.

I don't mind that he takes a break from the phone because he's with family, and I wouldn't expect him to text me nonstop on his trip. But still I'm starting to feel anxious about it. Not one, but two texts have gone unanswered, and I feel like even if he were busy, it wouldn't take but a moment to tell me that and ease my concerns. It seems uncharacteristic of him to just drop a conversation like that and refuse to respond even when I prod him a little.

I don't want to keep texting because it would feel very needy of me, and I don't want to call in case he's not in a good spot to be on the phone. I know there are a billion very mundane explanations for why he hasn't texted back, but I can't help but feel anxious that something's wrong. I just hate being caught in limbo like this with no way of knowing what's going on on his end of the line. How can I ease my concerns about this without becoming a nuisance?

Just because he hasn't replied doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's probably just busy with his family. While it may be a little inconsiderate that he hasn't replied, it doesn't mean he doesn't care.

Just because he hasn't replied doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's probably just busy with his family. While it may be a little inconsiderate that he hasn't replied, it doesn't mean he doesn't care.

I'm not worried that he doesn't care, I know he wouldn't ignore me to be malicious. I'm more concerned that something bad may have happened to him - car wreck, fall down the stairs, who knows. It may seem silly and obviously odds are against it, but from so far away, only connected to him by a phone, I have no way of knowing what's going on.

I think if it worries you then you should just talk over the phone every day, for a little while, so you know exactly what he's going to do when he hangs up, or something.

If you're worried if he's in a car wreck because he hasn't replied to your text, how does it make you feel when you don't hear from him for a day or two?!

Also, "uncharacteristic of him to just drop a conversation like that and refuse to respond even when I prod him a little. "

Sorry, but I think you need to chill out. Usually when someone doesn't reply, they haven't gotten around to it, because they are busy. Refusing to respond? Sounds a bit harsh, I wouldn't jump to conclusions if I were you, it only upsets you more. Just relax, he does care about you.

I'm not worried that he doesn't care, I know he wouldn't ignore me to be malicious. I'm more concerned that something bad may have happened to him - car wreck, fall down the stairs, who knows. It may seem silly and obviously odds are against it, but from so far away, only connected to him by a phone, I have no way of knowing what's going on.

Oh, I see. Well, no news is usually good news.

I think if it worries you then you should just talk over the phone every day, for a little while, so you know exactly what he's going to do when he hangs up, or something.

If you're worried if he's in a car wreck because he hasn't replied to your text, how does it make you feel when you don't hear from him for a day or two?!

Also, "uncharacteristic of him to just drop a conversation like that and refuse to respond even when I prod him a little. "

 

Sorry, but I think you need to chill out. Usually when someone doesn't reply, they haven't gotten around to it, because they are busy. Refusing to respond? Sounds a bit harsh, I wouldn't jump to conclusions if I were you, it only upsets you more. Just relax, he does care about you.

Sorry, wrong choice of words on my part. I didn't mean that I think he's seeing my texts, saying "whatever" and choosing to ignore them. Like I said, I know he wouldn't do that, at least not in a malicious way. I trust him very much and know that the case is either he probably doesn't know I texted him or hasn't had a chance to reply. I completely have faith that he cares about me very much and is not doing anything to hurt me.

I don't see how talking on the phone would help, because from the time we hang up to now, anything could have happened. I'm not worried to the point of panicking, and I know that everything is probably fine, but just the fact that he uncharacteristically dropped the convo coupled with the fact that I have no way of knowing if something's wrong is just stirring a little concern for me.

This is the risk you take when you choose to communicate primarily through txts. Txting is a relatively new form of communication with basically no social contract. From one txt to another, there is no social obligation to reply within a certain period of time - you could be doing anything while txting, you could be busy, your phone could die, etc. etc. - this is why I much prefer to call, talk face to face, or even e-mail. With e-mail at least, you are admitting there is no social contract while, although the same is pretty much true for txting, it's hard not to have expectations.

He's on holidays, he's probably just caught up having fun!

Relax and make the most of this time to do your own thing

It's unhealthy to be in constant communication, it's also very hard to maintain.

Could it be that his family told him to put the phone away and pay some attention to them? He is on vacation with them and they have the priority for his attention right now. Relax and text him again later today or tomorrow.