Down due to stroke of bad luck

Hey all, I haven't been here for quite some time. I've been handling my own problems for quite a while and it's satisfying. But there are some things I can't do on my own. That being because I really don't have anyone I can physically talk to. A lot of my friends aren't the type of people who would sit down and give me good advice. So I'm usually giving and giving and never getting any help.

There have been many many problems that I have been dealing with. I thought the new year would give me at least a bit of a break. But I was wrong. I'm always being optimistic, saying that "tomorrow will be better". I feel that most things can be solved with the whole "mind over matter" way of thinking. And for the most part...yeah it really helps to think positive. But lately, I haven't been feeling it. A lot of my friends have been frustrating me to no end. So getting new friends is a concern of mine.

I feel like I'm just an unlikable person. If that's possible. I guess it's in part of the enormous amount of pride that I have and that other people have as well. If someone says something to me, I'll just add to the flame. I hate it, but there was a point that I got sick of being made fun of and not doing anything about it. Point is, I'd love to get new friends and that proves very difficult. But instead, people are constantly starting fights with me. Even just a few minutes ago! For months, these idiot kids from accross the hall way like to smoke in the hall. They aren't supposed to, but I didn't say anything. I was in my kitchen, and I heard giggling near my door so I went over. One of the 17 year old idiots was putting a lit cigarette in one of my shoes which were outside. So I told the kid that if I ever see it happen again, that his "boy's" ass would be kicked, and I reminded him that I live accross the hall to him. But this isn't the only case. And I just want to remind you guys that I DO NOT start fights. I hate fighting but people always seem to want to start with me, just from me walking passed them in the street. That's New York City for ya I suppose...

Amongst other things...my very loved cat recently passed away instantly by unknown causes. The day before, he was ok. My brother awoke me the next morning to tell me that he had passed. And this cat was one of the best things in my life. As I described above, I really have noone to talk to or keep me company. So this cat was definitely more than just a pet to me. I still can't get over that he's gone, and it's going to take getting used to. I could never handle death very well....But things are just going really terrible for me lately. I don't understand why or how to counter everything. I still try to remain optimistic but as with most deaths, my emotions are all over the place so it's hard for me to think straight.

I guess what I'm asking for is some friendly advice on how to deal with everyday problems and the problems that I have stated...I appreciate it.

First off, I am very sorry about your cat... is he the cat in the avatar?

As for your other issues, I can relate to what you are saying to an extent. It seems that I can come accross as very unapproachable (that's what people who did 'manage' to get close will tell me, to my big surprise). I think a proud attitude sometimes triggers the worst in other people- so how you approach people is something you can change. For instance the incident with smoking. Keep in mind, 17 year olds sometimes simply are this way! Certainly when you are just a bit older yourself... they don't notice it and want to be rebellious... because they are teens and that is what they sometimes do

But anyway, maybe you can practice to make your tone friendly- add a smile to what you say and that will probably change things a bit! You live in a big city where it's probably common for people to just ignore others, or not? Do you look people in the eye? I am not saying you shoudn't, but I know that if a stranger passing by looks at me a bit too long, I will feel 'offended' a bit. Also, on the streets I always wear a mp3 player...

Thank you for your response. Yes, Tigre(the one who recently passed) is the one in my avatar. That was the most painful thing I had to do in the longest time was surrender him to the ASPCA for cremation. Me and my mom were both quite teary on the way back.

Since I don't like causing fights, I don't look at people in the eyes. If I do, I just look away. Not because I'm scared, but simply because I feel I should treat people who haven't done anything to offend me, the way I'd like for them to treat me. I usually listen to my MP3 player as well, but that causes more "controversy". Sometimes people can hear what I listen to(rock) and they like to make fun of it because the most common genre of music today, especially in New York is Rap. I am actually a very nice person, I may look mean, and I do work out(I haven't lately because I've been depressed ) but I'm very approachable. I guess I don't smile because I don't like my smile But I try anyway, even if it's artificial.

Awww that's such a cute cat...

It seems that you do everything possible to stay out of situations you don't want to be in. I am into rock as well and really don't care if others have opinions about that. But I have earplugs that don't transmit sound in a way that other people hear it. Still it shouldn't be a reason to be aggressive to you.

Is it at all possible that you feel and perceive things like this because you feel down about stuff in general? I think that often when a person feels everyone is doing this or that towards him, that in fact this is due to perception of that person. The thing is, the chances are fairly slim that everyone out there is aiming at you to pick a fight, etc. So maybe it happens a couple of times, but you start focusing on it and it becomes bigger and bigger in your mind. To the point were you start questioning yourself and wonder if you are not a nice person to be with. And that's dangerous for your self-esteem of course- you ARE a great guy (I can tell from here, lol), and I doubt that people will generally judge you otherwise if they get to know you.

He is cute isn't he? I wish he was still with us. He was only 6 years old...going on 7 in August. That made it even more painful today.

I suppose that's why my whole world is turned around right now. Usually, I expect the best but because of the recent happenings, my whole perception of my surroundings could be very much off. I do constantly question myself. I question what people see when they see me, after just about everyone I walk passed. Especially girls, I wonder if I look like just a typical, nothing special guy. This "bad luck" as I put it, has been happening for a long time so it is very possible that there was a change to my exterior such as facial expressions without my being aware. Especially now that my cat passed way, it's hard to find something to be that happy about.

You are grieving for the loss of someone (yes cats are persons too who was very special for you, it's no surprise that you feel blue. Ugh, our cat is 6 too...

What other things have been happening that you put in the category 'bad luck'?

You are grieving for the loss of someone (yes cats are persons too who was very special for you, it's no surprise that you feel blue. Ugh, our cat is 6 too...

 

What other things have been happening that you put in the category 'bad luck'?

When an animal, like my cat passes away it hurts all the more because animals like him are so innocent. So I am grieving quite a lot; dreaming of him, DAY dreaming of him, having trouble doing the things that I used to enjoy, etc. The fact that he was as young as he was when he passed also hurts a lot.

Oh boy, it would take a while for me to name everything. But a few include my mom getting diagnosed with sarcoidosis, my grandmother is steadily declining, my uncle is trying to take money from my grandmother again(he took thousands out of her bank account sometime last year), I often think about my absent father and all of the negative things he's done to me(such as took the money that was left to me and my brother(thousands of dollars) by my grandmother through her will and ran off with it.

There are many other things that come to mind. But overall, I'd say they are really getting to me simply because noone is there to listen. Which is why I brought up Tigre and his passing. These cats mean a lot to mean simply because they are the only things there. I don't think it's pathetic to say, I'm sure many others feel the same way. I like to handle my own problems, and have been but sometimes even I need a little help and a nice conversation.

EDIT: I forgot to add that things are constantly happening. I can't seem to mourn in peace. Like yesterday at about 12AM, there was a fire. I immediately was scared for my other cats. But thank goodness that it was controlled and it was next door(fires from that particular location have spread to my building before). It feels like it'll never end.