Depression and Relationships, How do you Deal with It?

Hi everyone. I have recently discovered that I have been in something of a low grade depression, a funk so to speak, for quite some time. I've known that I have a tendency towards depression since I have had a couple of episodes in the past. Thankfully my depression has never been debilitating, even though I know it can be for some.

This said, it really surprised me when I finally realized that I was depressed for the past few years. I guess I thought I knew myself better. This caused me to hold the woman I loved at arms-length (she's gone now). I closed up and couldn't fully open up to her. I felt vulnerable, insecure, and ashamed. I "played the victim" and chose not to be an active participant in my life, rather I would just react to things, get moody, upset, feel bad, etc.

I have found that things like exercise, defining a clear boundary between work and the rest of my life, and sometimes just getting my butt out of the house to help tremendously.

How do you deal with things like this that you or your SO are going through?

Why was I in denial for so long about this?

I can't speculate as to why you were in denial for so long. I was never in denial about mine because I had so much family history of it. Dealing with it takes patience which is hard to come by when you are clinically depressed. But anti-depressants help you through some of it, counseling can help you or your SO through some of it, but ultimately it is only YOU that can make the final decision to want to feel better, mentally make your self believe there is light at the end of the tunnel of depression.

Almimon and melvinx, thanks!

I'm realizing how much my mindset and how I choose to think and want to feel has to do with it. This has been a real eye-opener for me.

I guess for so long I did not want to feel better? Did not know how to feel better? I'm kind of ashamed about this....I managed to push away a woman that I could have seen spending the rest of my life with.

I guess depression really does cause self-centeredness....

Any additional insight would be greatly appreciated!

Don't be ashamed of anything. God has a plan for all of us and yours was not to end up with her. You are definitely right about the self centeredness. I was just explaining to my husband that depression can cause overeating, undereating and frivolous spending. I wished mine was undereating and not spending because I put us into debt with depression. But we are working our way out of it. I wish you the best and KNOW it will work out.

I'm curious if anyone else can share their experiences on this topic.

This caused me to hold the woman I loved at arms-length (she's gone now). I closed up and couldn't fully open up to her. I felt vulnerable, insecure, and ashamed. I "played the victim" and chose not to be an active participant in my life, rather I would just react to things, get moody, upset, feel bad, etc.

Man, I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes we don't know what we have until its gone

I'm actually in the situation right now.

I'm not in school, depressed for about 2 years now.

No excersise

Stress 24/7

Cry probably up to 2 hours a day

BUT somehow, i still manage a relationship. Every day I see my girlfriend, walk to her house which is a mile away even when i'm in bad shape.

i don't know how I do it, but I guess if you want something bad enough then ya gotta get off ya ass to get it.

Somedays I feel that if i dumped her then I wouldn't have to worry about nothing anymore.

To good to be true? Yes

If I dumped her, i'd be more upset than I ever was. BAM!

Depression sucks