cassandra Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I am so confused and a little angry right now. I went out with my ex last weekend it was great everything felt so right. We should have done things that way in the first place. Instead of it being just sex. He said so himself. We got into the discussion of getting back together. He said he'd only give it a go though if I were 1) to change jobs and go on dayshift and 2) move out of home. I was so angry over this. Why should I have to turn my life upside down for someone who hurt me so much the first time round?. I mean despite the fact that he hurt me I guess I feel something for him cause I keep going back to him. I just don't know what to do..... Has anyone been in a situation where you've been told to make life changes so that you can be with someone??? Any advice please.... Link to comment
needafriend Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Why should I have to turn my life upside down for someone who hurt me so much the first time round?. You shouldn't. The reason you keep going back to him is 1) you love him 2) he hurt you by rejecting you and your confidence is low A line from a movie comes to mind: Bridgett Jones' diary. When Colin Firth admits that he likes her - "Just as you are". Love is unconditional. Forget this loser. Set your own rules and say you will only get back together with him if: 1) He takes his hand off his *beep* and starts acting like a mature man 2) He was the last person on earth and there were no sheep Haha! Take care sweetie x Link to comment
lady00 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 That's awful. He has no right to make demands like that. If someone makes you jump through hoops to be with them instead of compromising with you and adjusting to your life and working together to come up with solutions on how things could work, then they are not worth your time. You clearly like this guy so that makes it 10 times harder to let him go due to his being unreasonable. If you want to give it one last effort, maybe you should suggest to him a compromise of some kind and suggest that you should not be expected to change your whole life around. If it's still his way or the highway after that, then split and wish him good luck finding a woman who will bend her life around to his demands (he'll have a hard time!). IF the reasons he gave you are the real reasons then I think what I said/suggested may make sense. But maybe he's just making up excuses/obstacles because he really doesn't want a relationship with you and is too chicken to tell you that and/or likes the attention from you too much to be honest. There could be a lot of things going on here and I can't tell you for sure what it is. Good luck. Link to comment
Shaun23 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Cassandra You sound a little confused."I guess I still feel something for him....." doesn't sound like you are too sure. Love has not conditions, and by him asking you to do these things, he sounds a little demanding. What makes you think that if the first time round it was all about sex that it would not be that way this time around. I think you should think this one through before making a decision! Hope all works out well... Link to comment
DN Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I can see his reasoning behind wanting you to work day shift - so he can spend more time with you. But why does he want you to move out of your parents' home? Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 The demands he put on you should be a clear reminder to you of why he is your EX. I know you still care but you two broke up. Now it's time for you to care about yourself and do what is right for you. To hell what he wants. The guy has some nerve. Good luck and all the best to you. Link to comment
cassandra Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 Thanks everyone.... I can see his reasoning behind wanting you to work day shift - so he can spend more time with you. But why does he want you to move out of your parents' home? The reason he wants me to move out is because my parents don't like him. Because he hurt me my Dad is a little protective of me and my Dad can be a scary man sometimes. But you are right I need to think things trough. And he said that he wants me on dayshift so he can spend time with me and take me with him when he plays volleyball, or goes bowling and stuff like that. So many what if's running through my head. Thanks again Link to comment
skyjuice Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Hi If the problem is both of you could not have time together, try to discuss with him. For example, both of you make constant effort to see each other at least once a week. Communication is vital. If you like your night shift, do not quit. Find a middle point where both of you could enjoy each other company. For example, just a walk in the park in the evening before you go to work. Try not to rule him out by his demand. Think through on the intention of the demand. Sometimes, the demand is not easy for you, but it is for the best. Link to comment
cassandra Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 If you like your night shift, do not quit. Find a middle point where both of you could enjoy each other company. For example, just a walk in the park in the evening before you go to work. Try not to rule him out by his demand. Think through on the intention of the demand. Sometimes, the demand is not easy for you, but it is for the best. There isn't a middle point when he finishes work I'm starting. I haven't ruled him out either I have actually started applying for new jobs. Even if I do get a new job though does not mean that I will get back together with him, But it's just something that will take time to figure out. Thanks Link to comment
skyjuice Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 Hi Good luck in your job hunting. I am too on the job hunting. So far, for me, not much result. Been through a few interviews. Have another one on next tuesday. Link to comment
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