I am becoming a workholic! Help!

Jut to keep it short, I am working as a graduate assistant and the projects classes and assignments are raining towards me, it is not possible for a normal person to read and write all the stuff that I a m supposed to handle.

The problem is not that I think I can not handle the jobs that I am required to do, but that I will have no life left if I handle them.

I know that I need a job, and I really like this job but there must be a way out of this dilemma..

all my class-mates think that I am the best in handling these issues, but I need your advice to overcome my life. There is too much to do, and I don;t want to make myself sick whilst trying to do the jobs. What would you say?

Thanks a lot,

a small note, I am in the midst of a Ph.D!!

Hi - I'm a PhD student too. We all have those moments. Actually, I have those "moments" about 15 hours a day. Just keep pushing ahead. Try to get out at least once a week with your friends, if only for your department's beer hour. Try to go to the gym. I've been doing yoga and mediatation. I've started sleeping 9 hours a night, and I actually find I am far more efficient at now than when I slept 5-6 hours a night. I just think so much more clearly now - which as you know, is important when writing.

He he he... I like what you said about normal people not being to do all of this. We're not normal people, remember? You really do have to be a bit nuts to go to school until you're 30 - you really really have to be insanely in love with your subject. Which, I'm guessing you are? What field are you in?

There's a great website, link removed, that has tons of resources for people who want to go to grad school, are in grad school, or who are postdocs. Survival guides are on there too.

It's ok - freaking out is just part of the process. You'll get through it. Just give yourself a break. I'm taking a lazy day today.

Hi annie

Well I am in the field of political science, and I took a lazy day yesterday and I half lazy day the previous day, today I have to work but I have to read 9 articles and a full book just for this week

I think the key is taking some time off, but friends does not work, since all of my friends are in the midst of depression, and friends whom are also working towards a Ph.d are at the united states, so it seems I have no one to get drunk

May be I am thinking that I am taking too much work to do; but when I don't have anytthing to do, I get depressed, Life is hard without a Ph.D you know..

I know that these days will pass, hope I will be alive when I finish this Ph.Dmania one day

*sigh* Yes, I know exactly how you feel. First of all, you want a PhD right? Do you need it to achieve your career goals? Can you do what you want with a master's degree? But, if the PhD is what you want and need... then keep pushing. I'm sure you've already asked yourself all of this. Yeah, the one thing I'm so surprised is just how many of my classmates are on anti-depressants. Yes, grad school can suck at times, but we're being given this really awesome opportunity to really delve in deep into a subject that we love. I'm working on my Phd in biochem. The hours suck, the pay is bad, but we get to spend all day reading about things we love and going to talks, and hanging out with other people that love the subject too. Grad school can be pretty great at times too. The thing is, I really really really love my job, and I just don't think very many people out there can say this. And even when I hate it, I still love it. I'm taking a 3 hour oral exam in June, so I'm already freaking out about it!!!!!! ACK! (It's my prelim to advance to official candidacy.)

Get new friends. Normal ones. Or, just more to complain about grad school with. Sometimes, when I start slacking, I'll just FORCE myself to sit down and do work. I'll go to the library where I'll have no distractions. I try to remember why I'm putting myself through this. But then you know, you have this one day where you get these really really great results, and that keeps you going through 100 bad days.

It's ok... keep going. You'll get there one day.... PM me whenever you need to complain! I have friends in grad schools all over the US, and we just send this weekly e-mails to each other about how school is going.

I feel the same way I have a full-time job about 2 hrs from where I live and I go to school two nights a week for my masters and I have a fiance and a house to take care of...I feel like I have no life. I know that someday down the road it will be worth it. I just have to suck it up know. You will one day look back and be proud of yourself and you should be proud of yourself know for what you are doing....hold your head up and know that you can do it...do not become overwhelmed because then it will make you want to stop and you shouldn't....

good luck

Hey marolua!

LOL we met before in my MA thesis topic... I hope to have a PhD position next year, but reading this. Ugh!!!!

Anyway, I know the feeling. When I look in my agenda it's like Monday, and when I wake up from my next night of sleep it's Friday and I am nowhere near where I planned to be.

The last few weeks I have been having a cold, which kept me from working my side-job (it's on the phone, and I had no voice except from some crackling noises). Mind you, it was a BLESSING to be ill. At first I was completely freaked out, but I took my time.

Now I have the pleasure of switching between thesis and enotalone on the same computer, which in fact makes me work productive!

Well, my friend who is a PhD just forced herself to take me-time. On a sunday morning she will go for a swim. Maybe it will help you to do the same. It's impossible to always work. Normally I swim competition, and I have to train, so there's no question about it. Do you think it would help to do something like that one night a week, or on saturday morning? It might make you feel less stressed out during work as well.

Good luck girl, and keep us posted here

Ilse.

So you see Ilse, a MA and a Ph.D , you and I are both crazy

Well I have to do something to relax I know, but there is a further dilemma in forcing myself to do something, like sports, or any activity..

I don't know how to explain it, but I am the first child and all my childhood has been the period when my mom and dad sent me to a course, swimming, basketball, gymnastics...many many many. And I am that girl who has been fed up by being her decisions made by her parents and just crying I don't want to go..!!

I wonder whether there is a name for this paradox in psychology, but I just can't stand up and start a course on yoga, aikido, go to the gym anything like that. I just take a long walk when I get too fed up.

You have been a having a cold, and I have been having a backache that prevented me from sitting in front of the computer, it still hurts but at least I can sit now.

I don't know why I am feeling so lonely, I have a lot of things to do, all of my friends and my family are expecting me to do something, I don't have a boyfrined and probably won't have any soon. Lonely but strong, keepwalking but just want to cry...!

It would be better if I just shut up and go to sleep..

ps: I read your post about the past. I think you will have a great relationship with this guy in the following years, I just feel it.

And also congratulations for the candidacy

Hey girl,

I know that loneliness. For me it's mainly because of the alienation you get from studying so much. Especially when you are doing a theoretic specialization, it's really far from the real world. Next to that, you feel like you have to live up to a certain expectation from others. Also from yourself. I think most people who are PhD's, are also perfectionists. Working in science demands people who want to know every detail; a study is worthless if not all details are taken into account. But this has a negative side of course, because there is no real end to it.

My supervisors often blame me for writing a dissertation instead of a thesis. It's just that I want to do this NOW, and the struggle is mainly with myself.

Anyway, even taking a walk is a great way to get your mind of things. I can imagine that your natural response to extra activities is to feel obliged to do so. Me-time does not mean you should join a club or something. It just means that it can be so relaxing to have a fixed part of a day in the week that is especially reserved for you. Take a long bubble bath one time, go for a walk the other. You know what relaxes me? Reading a complete Cosmopolitan. Yes, ugh and shame on me. Or shopaholic books LOL. The last thing I need after a long day behind my laptop is a difficult book with plots all over the place.

Do you get enough sleep? And eh, for your backpains, I hope they are less, but I would really recommend you to go for a relaxing swim regularly. Swimming is one of the best ways to both exercise and relax.

Too bad I am located in Europe , if you lived around the corner we could meet up and have a complaining-slash-feeling-sorry-for-ourselves-session while enjoying a glass of wine

Thanks by the way for your comments on my topic. I am very positive about my relationship as well... it just takes a while to process all this old stuff that comes up. I will get back at that topic tomorrow, here it's 2 AM. Oops.

Good luck the upcoming week, girl! Let's vent on the forum, and we will really be ok. Just to comfort you: while you are reading 9 articles and a full book, I will write a complete chapter (that's like 40 pages in my planning). In one week, because that's were my deadline was set.

Ilse.

Hi guys,

Just thought i'd chime in and say thanks for showing me what I have to look forward to! J/k. I'm currently a senior studying electrical engineering, and I plan on going for my masters in a year or so (I graduate in june and hope to find a job that will provide some tuition assistance for grad school, or at least a place where i can build enough of a savings so i can go back). I know a bunch of grad students in the EE and BME fields, and know what you guys have to go through. Its a wonder any of you can keep sane at all with the workload, and I admire you for being able to handle it. At the moment i'm in the midst of a senior project that my advisor is running like one of his PhD research projects, so I have some idea of the pressure you guys are under (although I'll admit that since its a group project the pressure isn't always on my head, despite how it feels sometimes).

I just wanted to give an outsider's perspective on graduate studies, and remind you guys that you deserve a pat on the back for getting to where you are and continuing to better your education, and that you do have the respect of alot of us outthere who can see what you're going through. I hope that helped a little.

Btw, just so you have something to compare to, i have a friend who's getting his PhD in the Electrophysics field of electrical enginerring (yikes!) AND is married and raising a 1 year-old daughter. Imagine what he's going through, i can't imagine chasing a one year old around the house does much for your stress level on the rare occasion you can escape school! Consider yourselves lucky you don't have to deal with that as well (assuming you don't, of course).

Good Luck to you guys, and see you in a year or two .

mtastic