MissCanuck

Another vote here to avoid friendship. If she winds up back with her ex, are you still going to want to be friends? I rather doubt that. She also may not want to maintain the friendship in that case either, out of respect for him.

This again? OP, you have posted this before and you always claim to be a different character in this story. Don't feed the troll, guys.

Why not? When she said she would like to meet, that should have been your cue to name a date/time.

Have you asked to see her recently? Whatever you do, I would not go blurting out this confessional via text message. Too many things can get misinterpreted and then you'll be left wondering if she's read it, what she's thinking, when she's going to respond, and so on.

Just focus on moving forward now, OP.

She isn't serious about working on the marriage. She is still in touch with her lover and her promises to you are empty. I'm sorry. I think it's time you see a lawyer (and yes, a good therapist to help support you through what has happened and what is coming)

I don't think anything is up. She sounds like a normal co-worker. It wasn't, no. It was just a little friendly ribbing.

There's someone she's hoping will view her stories and posts. She gets a little adrenaline hit every time he checks them out. Lather, rinse, repeart.

If that were true, this thread wouldn't exist. She would have told her ex to take a hike. Um, no. Had she not reciprocated his interest when he got in touch, you would not be in this situation. This is on her. She was perfectly in control and able to say "no thank" to ex, but she didn't. She is a bit angry at him for messaging? Please. She could have put a stop to everything very easily. Women with super strong feelings don't consider taking an ex back. They just don't. I know you don't want to hear it, but you need to be real here.

I think that's where you need to start. It's a serious enough matter that a professional should help you.

This is your now your sign that it's not working: She's more than tempted. She broke up with you to explore reuniting with him. This is already over but you haven't quite accepted it yet, which is understandable. This is why meeting up to talk is not going to go well. You will be devastated to talk and still see her turn around and wave goodbye.

What sort of family conversations are you having where sexual fetishes are discussed, especially when you were just 17 years old when you found out about this?

Dude. Re-read what you just wrote here. This is your desperation speaking. This is you grasping at any straws to make this okay with yourself. But my guy, you need to get real here. What you describe above would be terribly damaging and not strengthen anything. She is into you, but not enough. Not the way someone needs to be to really have a strong relationship. Her heart and mind aren't with you enough for another man not to intrude. She has space for someone else in there, which is why you very likely wouldn't have had the future you dream of. Exactly. You were her rebound.

No, but you need to work more on yourself than figuring her out. A person with a healthy sense of self-worth would have gotten rid of her by now. You need to get to the bottom of why you haven't. She didn't mold you this way.

You haven't done anything. This "friend" of yours has. He made what he probably thought was a joke but it was rude and insensitive. I can't fathom why people in your class are angry about this - do you live in a very conservative culture or something? In any case, you need to rethink this friendship. He sounds like an immature jerk. What's common, a foot fetish? How do you know this about family members?