dan_j

I think I figured it out... I have what you call "Nice guy syndrome". At first the girls are really into me. I am pretty attractive, successful with school and have a good job. I have lots of friends and at first impression I am probably a charming, funny young man. After we start talking I become the nice guy. The guy that is always calling back, or is really needy. This is how I lost my last girlfriend. I was too needy and clingy. At the time she could probably cheat on me and I would be right back there saying "oh, I know you won't do it again"." Due to myself being so nice, I have tons of friends and am very popular, but alot of people do take advantage of me. I need to start standing up for myself. As matter of fact, my ex was the opposite of Mr. Nice guy... she broke off plans, did what was best for her, and even acted like a * * * * * sometimes. And you know what? I was totally whipped on her.

poco, great advice friend. I have a quetion for you though. It has always been my nature to wnat to ask, or I have actually asked if a girl likes me or is actually interested in me. I know this is a bad idea but can you explain to me why it is? If she is interested why would htis do any harm?

Poco, I agree with you, but I think you are contridictiing yourself alittle? My friend "Steve" basically let this beautiful girl come to him, but you are telling me to go ask her on a date? How does this work? If I say "You know, I don't usually ask out many girls, but me and you seem to get along really well, would you want to go out sometime?" It gives her complete control and shows me as a pushover, something you said "steve" was not. He was a challenge.

ShySoul, I agree with you totally. I really don't think she is interested, but when I do not show interest she starts to become interested. My good friend is not the most amazing looking guy either but he has beautiful girlfriend that just loves him, you know what he did.. just plays it cool, never tells her how amzing she is (but he does show that he cares), or how lucky he is to have her.. and he even avoided the relationship until she liked him enough. He doesn't rush to call her and hes not readily available for her. He also shows confidence and remains cool over every situation, does not get mad at her much. He still shows some game and makes smooths moves on her also. I really have to learn from this because I am basically the oposite or that. Remind me to read this post (mine I just wrote over and over).

Hi, Has this ever happened to you? Because it happens to me alot and I am in the middle or this situaiton right now. I really like this girl. I got to know her and start hanging out with her. I never told her how I felt but it seems like she likes me. But... it seems as though everytime I am going after her, and this is happening more and more and when that happens it seems she is losing interest. It sucks because I want something with this girl but I am doing all the actions and all the hints that I want something and am getting very few back. Like seinfeld says I want the upper hand in the relationship but it really seems impossible for me. When I give up on girls in situations like this, they sometimes call later or come talk to me at the bar but any chemistry we had is gone by then. Damn. I wish I was so irrestiable that this girl was just all over me.

Hi, thanks for the responses. I have read the facts on proscar more then once. At my age I am too self conscience about myself. I know that people judge others by how they look. That is just how society is, especially at my age. I also know that if I were as bald as my grandfather (he went bald at a very young age) I would not be meeting a special girl like this. I know you'll say that I would meet someone anyways and that I should go for a girl that doesn't rely on looks, but it is also about confidence. I know other guys my age that have gone bald and some of them just shave their heads and looks fine and their happy, but for others it completely destroys their confidence. Having conidence makes life more enjoyable. I have also looked into medications for this problem and I really think they would help. My ideal situation would be that I talk to my doctor and he UNDERSTANDS what I'm going through and lets me try out something such as viagra. I have heard of young men using these pills also. I really wish I was not so self conscience. Vanity for virility? You have to understand it tough for me at this age.

Hi, I'm posting under a different name because of embarresment reasons. This forum has got me through alot, but I really need some support and advice now because I do not know anyone else I could talk to about this. Here is my situation... At the age of 18 I started losing my hair, it was becoming visable and my grandpa had severe hair loss when he was young. My close friends started making comments. It was terrible, I was so depressed. I am a decent looking guy, and always had attractive girlfriends. I started taking proscar to help the situaiton and since my hair loss has basically stopped. It has really changed and saved my life. Here is the problem. I am now 20 and this is not a hair loss question at all. The drug proscar has affected my sex life. I do not get the same strength erections and sometimes have a hard time getting a erection at all. This is really tough. I am starting to date a new girl and she is extremely good looking. I can really see myself with her. We are not yet sexually active but I can see that happening between us soon. Before this, I have gone to my local nutrition store and got over the counter male health pills and they have helped somewhat. I want to get help from a doctor but I am afraid. I do not liek my family doctor because he is such good friends with my family and I am uncomfortable talking to him. I am also afraid if I tell him he will take me off the proscar. This really sucks for me and is embarresing, thats why I came here. What do you guys think I should do?

Sorry about that spelling and grammar. It's 2:15 AM and it had been a long night.

Read Regretfulman's full post. It is correct and it applied perfectly to my situation. BUT now... How long do I wait? She is still with the new guy but is telling me how she wants to get back with me and "misses what we had". I told her I can't trust or believe what she is saying when she is still with another guy. Am I mistaken saying that? She asked me if her and her bf were broken up if we could work things out. I said ya I'd want to take things slow though. We seen each other last week for the first time in 3 months... It was obvious that she still had feelings for me. Today she told me that her dad might be getting tickets to this big sporting event we both enjoy. I said "I am pretty confused? You are still dating ____ but are asking me if I want to go to this game? I later left her a msg saying I thought it would be fun no matter what and to let me know about it. Am I doing anything wrong? I felt like she was in control after I left her that msg. As though, she knows she can have me whenever she wants. I used NC when I was hurt and I felt in control. Now I am showing her I still have feelings for her I feel a little out of control again. She is dating the new guy still. What do I do? I do want her back but I am scared to get played and hurt again. Is it right for me to show that I care and try to get our love back? If you have any advice or experience I'd appreciate it.

anymore. It may take some time though, in most cases your ex will enjoy the new person, but guess what? Every relationship has a "honeymoon" stage, where everything is perfect and good and the person you are with seems like "the one". Well this stage doesn't last very long, and soon the grass isn't so green on the other side. This is when you have your best chance at having the ex come back to you, but you must be practicing No contact all along for it to work. People, all it takes is one fight sometimes between the ex and the new person, to send them running back to you, but never take them back right away, always wait, and don't seem eager to get back.