MissCanuck

Why is the bolded even a consideration for you? He treats you like dog crap and it's only been 3 months. What exactly makes you want to stay in a bad relationship? Are you afraid to be alone?

I am going to take a wild guess and assume you want us to tell you that he likes you. Your threads are all the same.

Do you want to date him?

Some men have big egos and are immature. If he doesn't have any concern about STIs, then whether or not you have kissed anyone else is not his business. Please do not entertain that line of questioning, and avoid men who treat you like a liar. Next.

Can you be more specifc? What did you say or do?

Eh, if it's going to be this hard to even meet her, I would not hold your breath for much coming from this. She doesn't sound ready to meet people. I get that she wants to be cautious but she also needs to understand that most guys on dating apps aren't looking for digial pen pals. You could try asking her for a phone call, but if she dodges this or instead wants to just keep chatting, I would wish her well but move on.

Nobody here suggested any of the above - especially not instantaneously. But what you are doing isn't working. You are no closer to healing and seem very resistant to anyone suggesting you try something different. What advice are you looking for if you won't really help yourself?

This is a very unhealthy relationship. Both of you need help for your separate issues before a real, thriving relationship will ever be possible. You are apparently accepting a lot of mistreatment from her, when you really shouldn't be. You need boundaries and better self-esteem, because her saying all these hurtful things to you is not acceptable. It isn't making anything better. You're only enabling a deeply dysfunctional cycle. If she isn't seeking professional help, there is really nothing you can do and you should not stay.

She is not trying to "find herself." She's trying to continue her affair with this man. You need to wake up, man, no matter how much it hurts.

I was about to say the same thing. At this point, OP, I would look into professioanl support. Venting about it here is fine, but it's obviously not doing much to actually work through your feelings and move past him.

Your husband apparently doesn't trust you, which is the biggest problem. You made some bad choices in the past, it's true. That can't be undone but it seems you have learned from them and were trying to be transparent. Your husband's reaction to this is concerning. He evidently worries that you have it in you to be unfaithful to him: This is unacceptable and unnecessary. I get why he might be uncomfortable having this man around but he should not go on the attack like this and disrespect you. Are you sure he has never had trust issues with you?

It would be incredibly foolish to let this man back into your life. What's really "ew" is this: Your ew-metre is off. The above should send you running for the hills. The fact that it's not is deeply concerning.

No, she doesn't love you. This is absolutely not what love looks like. You didn't deserve to be treated this way. It's time to let her go and never look back.

I don't get why you feel you would be giving up on her. There doesn't appear to have been a chance to begin with. No, not when it would be inapprorpriate to share these feelings with someone already in a relationship. So why did you ask for advice if you're going to proceed anyway?

Are you also in a polyamorous relationship?